Tuesday, August 28, 2012

One Bad Apple...


A few months ago a couple of great gals held a gift swap. These ladies are super fun!! And the story I’m about to tell you has nothing to do with them.
I was so excited! Who wouldn’t be? To get stuff in the mail?? Great Fun!!
I was just as excited to send my gifts to my swap partner. I had bought a universal scarf… leopard print… and I made her a tote bag to match! This lady would be stylin’ and profilin’! I added m&m’s to the box along with nail polish and my favorite lip balm.
I know I went over the set amount of the gift swap but I wanted to do this woman right!
And I trotted my happyass down the to Post Office to ship it out.
And I waited.
and waited.
and waited.
and do you know that the woman wearin’ my leopard print scarf and carryin’ my tote bag NEVER SENT ME A FREAKIN’ THING!!!!
I am curious to know what you kids think about that.
The ladies that held the swap made it up to me, like I said, they are great gals.
Worst of all, This one stupid and selfish woman has ruined a good thing.

Thanks for Nothing!!



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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Plannin’ And Messin’…

It is my goal in life to keep shit stirred.
And to have someone roll their eyes and say “Oh Sister!” or “Oh Lord!” or in Roy’s case, he just shakes his head and sighs.
But I always get a smile. That's what is important.
The Baby Shower is comin’ together nicely. I have let my sister be in charge of decoratin’ since I have not been blessed with a “martha stewart gene” and she has too many to count.
And I’m lettin’ her find the cake since she won’t let me bake one.
We have come to terms on a cute theme. The mother- to- be refers to the baby as bean so we are gonna use Jelly Belly Beans in different flavors and colors. We’re all pullin’ for lots of pink but for some reason this is the year for boys… what’s up with that??
Anyway.
The mom in-law and grandmother- to- be has reserved her church for the big day. Huge weight off my shoulders!!
I am in charge of invitations. Easy Peasy!!
But as I like to mess with people I have been droppin’ stupid ideas and hintin’ about stuff so that the lovely mother- to- be wonders just what the hell she’s gotten herself into. That way when she walks in and finds a beautiful little baby shower, she’s be tickled pink.
I hope.
Please be a baby girl!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Smatterin' Of Crap...

It’s been awhile since we’ve sat down and chatted. Last week I was down with back troubles.
I’m plannin’ a baby shower.
Yes. I know.
Me. hahahahahahahahahahahaha… but I have help.
As we all know I can’t bake, I’ve been teasin’ my sister, RubyJune, that I will bake the cake. hahahahahahahahahahhaa…. she insists we buy one.
So I’ve broiled brownies and burnt cookies and made pecan soup… I could make a cute cake for a baby shower.
I know. who am I kiddin’?
We are still under a drought and burn ban… sucks not being able to cook out!
I have a huge rack of ribs that needs to be grilled…. GRILLED RIBS!!!
But no.
I’ll wrap it in foil and put it in the oven.
Back to the baby shower… Remember the weddin’ I went to back in Feb??
 The one that my shitty sister inlaw made a face at me???
Should I send her an invite??
Last week, we had to bomb the house for bugs… one of us was gettin' overly creeped out by the amount of spiders in the house… and so we had to catch cats put them outside for the day. I can now see that I will not be able to catch them if the house should catch on fire.
That is rather soberin’!
Or get Ruffles from his tank… he didn’t want to leave the safety of his cave and went to snappin’ like a big turtle!! Good thing Roy is so fast!!
Come Spring, Ruffles will be set free.
Another rather soberin’ fact.
Oh you know I’ll send the bitch an invite. That’s how I roll.
Just save up bail money for me.
Link Up!!
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Seriously Shawn
Impulsive Addict
Stacie Uncorked

Friday, August 17, 2012

TaDa!!!

Yes. I did it. Look up and see what my web address is… go ahead. Look.

I’ll wait.

Cool Huh?

I waited and cried and bitched and cried some more. Well. I cried right off the bat. Somebody stole it from me. I waited his ass out! It’s mine now!!

Tequila for everyone!!! I am officially Velvettush.com.

Monday, August 06, 2012

Break In Case Of Fire…

We are in a drought. The temperatures have been over 100 for near 2 months… I don’t care what the weatherman says… I have a digital thermometer and it’s not in the sun… OVER 100 FOR NEAR 2 MONTHS!!!!
So Oklahoma is under a burn ban… the entire state.
Roy gave me the speech on what to do in case of fire… Call him! Call 911! Open the gate, and start waterin’ around the house!
“Don’t drag hoses! In this heat, you’ll die!!”
He has laid the hoses out already so I don’t have to drag them.
I have packed a bag with a change of clothes in it, packed up my laptop and all back up thingys, laid out a huge pillow case to scoop up cats into, and if I have time I’ll come back for photo albums.
I can put Ruffles in a bucket in the livin’ room that Roy uses as a trash can… the fish are on their own.
I can get Trixie into the car without a problem… Ralph may be a different story. He acts like such an ass when you let him out!
I just hope I don’t have to use my emergency plan… ever!
I think a fire is so much more worse than a tornado. With a tornado, you might be able to find some mementos and personal items but with a fire… it’s all gone!
HiResrandomtuesday
Link up with Shawn, Impulsive Addict and Stacie UnCorked