Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Back The Truck Up!!

Look At What I Found!!love-button-15 

I’m gettin' ahead of myself. Today’s Link Up is with Janette from The Johanson’s Journey. She takes your great finds, ideas, and inspirations for a pin on Pinterest.

How Cool is That!!??

Well, since I’m such a huge lush of course I found booze!!

I know!! Right??

Wait ‘til you hear the name!

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It’s called Kinky Liqueur!!

How cute is that??

It was practically made for me!!

The Lush is Gushin’!!

The label says, “A naughty fusion of Super Premium vodka Distilled 5 times with succulent mango, blood orange liqueur and Passion fruit.”

So Good!! I mixed it with Sprite… diet of course… Save Calories where I can!

Delish!!

Next week I will give you my very own recipe that I invented! Roy loves it!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I Got Nothing…

I just to play along and chat with friends. But I’ve got nothing.HiRes
No trips planned.
Nothing has happened worth retellin’.
I’ve even looked thru my photos lookin’ for something cute.
NOTHING.
But I’m linkin’ up anyway.
You should too.
Meet Impulsive Addict and Shawn and the rest of the ladies.
I was thinkin’ the other day that I need to do another vlog from the car.
I wish I could do a vlog from the gym.
But I don’t want to be that person.
You know the one.
The one that talks to herself.
I do that.
Well.
Not so much anymore becuz I blog.
But still.
So You All Get Nothing.
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What’s You Got?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

My Demons…

Let’s be honest.
We all have demons.
Some people gamble.
Some folks drink.
Some shop.
I have issues.
Mother issues.
Daughter issues.
Family issues.
Friend issues.
My Daddy didn’t touch me in inappropriate ways.
Nor did my cousins or uncles.
Though, I was “date raped” at 14.
I was assaulted at 12 in a bathroom at school at a Boy Scout Meeting.
I was assaulted at 15 and 16 in class at school.
So I dated a thug for protection.
Assaulted many times by a neighbor boy.
I loved him.
But his cousin, I did not.
I hated that kid.
It didn’t keep him from sexually assaulting me.
I was bullied all thru school becuz I was short, freckled, and becuz I was a girl.
I didn’t ask for any of it.
And I don’t carry it around with me either.
I let it all go.
I really did.
I let it all go.
I am not bitter.
I have no regrets.
Do is wish I wasn’t taken advantage of?
Of course not.
Why would any woman want to be raped?
By someone they loved.
And I did.
I loved him so much.
I heard once on Oprah that 1 in 4 women were sexually assaulted.
She thought that number is higher as so many women keep quiet about it.
I believe that.
We keep quiet.
Every girl/woman I know has been sexually assaulted.
But do you know there is a certain group of women that lie about it to get what they want?
For real.
Do you know that?
They get to be a victim.
They get sympathy.
They get people riled up to skin the perpetrator.
And that person did nothing wrong.
NOTHING!
Except, maybe love their mother too much.
These same people hold my grandchildren up to me like carrots.
Holdin’ them out for me to grab onto and then kick me in the chest.
And stomp a mud hole in my heart.
Am I wrong for wanting to preserve my sanity?
My emotionally stability?
I love my life with Roy.
He did nothing wrong.
Why do people want to rip him from me?
Stupid people want to rip Roy from me becuz they think I’m hurtin’ him becuz I’m so “in your face”, so brazen,  so real.
And there are those that want to rip Roy from me with lies.
My demons.
I’m damned if I do.
I’m damned it I don’t.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Spin Cycle…

I have wanted to participate in the Spin Cycle Link Up for quite some time, but the subjects were just not something I could relate to… luck? I have none. Embarassin’ moments?? Shit happens to me so much that I don’t really get full blown red in the face mortified and want to die… I just laugh at myself and move on. Roy on the other hand gets embarrassed by me all the frickin’ time and this isn't his blog. 

But this weeks topic is Road Trips… I can relate. But which story should I post?
Being lost in Kansas City?
The Trip to Hawaii… which isn’t a road trip but interestin’ none the less. Remember? It was the trip with QueenVictoria and RoySr? It has it’s own category!
One of the Trips to Galveston?

But I think I’ll go with “How I Spent My Summer Vacation-2005”. My thoughts are little scattered but it was THE ROAD TRIP FROM HELL!!!
I wrote this a long time ago... an email to all my RealWorld friends and family... right after it happened.
So you will see that I have ALWAYS been THIS way... And now I blog.
A bit of Background... my Aunt called me up and said "Come with me to take Granny and Grandpa to California."
I stupidly said yes!!!

I was very worried that this trip with the grandparents would be a mistake!!! I may never speak to my grandpa again!!!!!
By day 2 when we hit Escondido, California, I told my aunt to take me to the nearest airport and put me on a plane back to Tulsa!!!
She wouldn't do it!!
After having a knock down drag out with Grandpa in Tucson traffic that was all I wanted!!!!
I was doing fine but he didn't think so!! A man that can't turn his head to see the road behind him is telling me how to drive!!!!
My aunt and I had plans to stop and see things along the way but NO!
We were driven thru this trip like Sherman's March to the Sea!!!!
WE drove for first 2 days... 12 hours each day!!!!
He said we need to stop becuz Granny couldn't go any further... she was sleeping most of the time!!
Be a man and own up to the fact that you are tired and need to stop!!!!!
Day 5, I was crying on the phone to Roy to come and get me!!!
I was somewhere in the middle of Oregon by this time. Grandpa had said that my presence was making him sick after an argument that he started.
Roy said it would take him 4 days to find me, to just gut it out and he would take me later to do it right. He is a good man!!!
We did manage to drag Grandpa thru the Sequoia National Forest. "Well, we have tree in Oklahoma!"
Good God!!!
We were whipped thru there too... "I don't want to be in here after dark."
I could not stop to take pix becuz the car might overheat!!!!!!
I was almost in tears at thinking I could not get out and see the largest trees in America... I wanted out and to go home!!!
WE drove 250 miles out of the way to Coure Delane, Idaho so he could look up "relatives". There is a town called Harrison just 20 miles away... It says clearly on the map HARRISON... but when we got there, He realized it wasn't HARLESON!!! I told My Aunt we should drag his ass down there anyway!!!!
WE could have been almost to Mount Rushmore by this point.......but NO!!!! I was so pissed off!!!
I didn't take my cell phone becuz RubyJune said I could use hers, it has nationwide and loaded with minutes, but becuz she left it at his house, it was HIS!!!!
Luckily, Aunty had her's so I could make my daily call to Roy.
About 5 days into this trip from Hell, Grandpa realized neither he or Granny could hear it ring from all the missed calls, I got to carry it!!!
I couldn't use it mind you. I had to sneak off to call my husband!!!!!!!!
I was whispering to RubyJune in a bathroom in Montana to keep her updated on the progress of the torture!!!
When we made it to Iowa and I knew when we were going to be home soon, RubyJune had the nerve to say..."Can you keep him out longer? I have something I need to have installed at his house and I don't want to do it when he is there."
Has she not been listening to me all this time???????
By the time we got across Idaho, Montana and into Wyoming we stopped at Sheridan for the night. There was a tizzy over the trip to Mount Rushmore. I stayed out of it and let him and Aunty go at it.
I didn't care, all I wanted was to go home!!
She and I had already decided what road to take but after the tizzy it was decided to go Rapid City and go down and come right back up to Rapid City so he would shut up!! There was the sweetest little old lady working at the visitor center just after we crossed the border into South Dakota... I would like to go back and kiss her on the forehead… she took out her pen and drew on the map the EXACT SAME ROAD that my aunt and I had planned to take!! And he said " that sounds like a good Idea!"
After we got to Mt Rushmore, He announced we had 30 minutes to see what we came to see and get back on the road... 30 MINUTES!!!!
Oh well that is just about the same amount of time I spent at the beach at Oceanside!!!!
Now how many sailors can a gal pick up in 30 minutes?????
Well, I could have picked up a cop in Sheridan... in less than 10 minutes!! I'm a hot babe!!
Granny said after we left Oregon that she will never take another trip with him again.
I took over 200 pix out the windows of the van becuz he would not let us stop!!!
As I was showing Roy the pix titled "My summer vacation at 65 miles per hour", he just laughed... it ain't funny!!!
My Aunt and I made the most of it and it would have been super without him. WE gambled and played the scratcher cards along the way even Granny did and we laughed at him behind his back.
I teased Granny all the way and kept her from being in tears over the whole thing... I would rather die than to cause her any grief!! I bought her a "beer", she wouldn't touch it. It was a cream soda!!! I teased her becuz she was gambling... she won $9 on one ticket!!
One day we are getting gas and she said, "Sister, those men are looking at you."
"Yep, Granny, I am a hot babe!"
And then for no reason on earth, a biker helped her out of the van. He was just so sweet. Just as soon as we got in the bathroom and the door closed, " Why did he do that?"
"Granny, you are just a hot Babe!!"
And Thank God for my Aunt's little "Happy Pills"!!!!
Never travel with an old man and if you grow up to be an old cranky man... stay at home and let the kids have fun!!!!

Last April she called me up and said, "Come with me to take Granny and Grandpa to California."
"Not just no but Hell no!!!"

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Men!!

Well. Roy. UGH!!

He decided to build his own gun range. It’s more that just a pile of dirt and a target. That would have been too simple. There is a concrete and blocks and diggin’ involved, lots of diggin’!

He always tells me what he wants to do… like I really care. But he does. And tells me how much it’s gonna cost… and it NEVER comes in at budget. Not one time. And he always replies, “it’s a cost overrun.”

This gun range… is a work in progress. So one day I went out there to see what all the concrete is for… walls and steps, not just to hold the blocks in place… and a sidewalk.

WHAT THE HELL???!!!

“I don’t think I was informed about the sidewalk.”

He grins one of those opossum eatin’ shit grins, “I needed something to stand on while I made my steps.”

"It looks like a COST OVERRUN TO ME!”

I wouldn’t mind the “cost overruns” but when the credit card bill comes in, I get a lecture about unnecessary spending.

Jackass! IMG_4256This is before the added sidewalk and steps.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

3 Things That Piss Me Off…

Today… There’s a long list of things that piss me off but I thought I’d narrow it down to just 3 things today.

1) Birds! Yes birds! They poop on my car. They sing out my bedroom window. They torment my cats… they sit on the wisteria bush out side the front door and taunt the housecats. They hop around lookin’ all cute and tweety like with 3 or 4 cats crouched down with their ears pinned back makin’ squirrel noises. Have you heard a cat make squirrel noises? They do!

2) The Cats!!!!!! I take up for them becuz the birds are tauntin’ them and what do they do to repay me??? poop in the floor!!!! UGH!!! They have this HUGE litter box that is clean and has good litter… I don’t cheap out on them… and ONE OF THEM POOPS IN THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!

3) Roy’s Job! He came home after workin’ a 10 hour shift. He did a couple of odd jobs around the house while I made supper and his phone goes off! He’s call back to work!! No time to eat!! He didn’t do anything all day long but gets called back in about 6pm… and is out until 9am the next day!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!???!!! All night long to fix a water leak. I realize that there are people with out water and it must be done but why work a man into the ground? Why not have 2 shifts on rotation to relieve those that have already put in a full days work??

Even Western Union gave the riders fresh horses!

Friday, March 16, 2012

3 Things I Miss Most About Winter…

Yep I miss it. We got a couple of dustin’ of snow this year and that’s it.

1) I miss the snow. It’s beautiful when it falls and drifts all around. Sure, here in Oklahoma it only lasts about 6 hours but it’s okay. A little is fine. I’d rather have snow than ice. Ice is a bitch!

2) Snugglin’ up with all the cats when it’s so cold out that even the woodstove isn’t keepin’ the little buggers warm.

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All 6 are there!!

3) Havin’ chili. Chili’s only good when it’s cold outside. And when the temperature is over 40, it’s just not the same.

I missed not havin’ a winter. I sure hope this doesn’t mean I’m gonna have a hot and dry summer.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Wedding, Spanx, And Bitches…

Link up with IA and Shawn!!



My nephew Lil’Bub was married this past weekend. He’s a pretty good egg! When he was a baby, he would stay with me while his momma went to high school. I spoiled him rotten!
He cried to come with me and was with me so much that people thougbaby photo 001ht he was mine becuz we looked so much alike… he’s a ginger! I was born with bright red hair… yes he’s mine!old photos 004
He’s in the middle… and the old photo is me.
His momma didn’t like it all that much but that was then and this is now. I have apologized for all the mean things I did to her back then. And we both laugh about me being such a bitch to her.
See. I have matured over the years.
Anyway, my sister, RubyJune and her kids and I drove 200 miles to Southern Oklahoma… a place I had sworn I’d never go back to… They were mean to me when I lived down there… but that’s where Lil’Bub lives so… here we go. While we were talkin’ about dresses and what every one needed for the weddin’… some people forgot stuff… The only thing I forgot was sugar and creamer for my coffee! I told my sister and niece about Spanx. My sister is size 6 and my niece maybe a 4 needed some Spanx to smooth out the bumps. My niece has a great figure but with Spanx, she had no pantie lines. My sister has had babies and has a tiny pooch but with spanx she was smooth. Every woman needs some sort of undergarment to smooth her out!! The two ladies had what I would call a singlet or Onesy! With a cut in the crotch for peeing… My sister loved it! She had no problem with the whole thing. I have made a convert in her to the world of Spanx! My niece on the other had just couldn’t get it down. Well, not literally. Every time she went to the restroom she had to undress becuz that peein’ thru the hole just freaked her out… or maybe she was too drunk to do it!
The weddin’ was beautiful. What Weddin’ Isn’t??? The bride was perfect and of course the groom was sharp as a tack!
When we got to the chapel, I asked the lady in charge of the place where to put the gifts. She told me so I was tellin’ people where to place the gifts. Being all helpful! That’s me! Becuz I’m mature that way! I turned to my brother’s wife… we all call her TheDevil… and said, she could place her gift on the table. And she turned to me and made a face like a 4 year old makes when she’s being pissy! And I said, “Oh So that’s how you want to be. I can do it. I can play that way too!” And she walked off!
Bitch! I will slap a hair lip on that face! Take her to the parkin’ lot and stomp a mud hole in her!
My sister was standin’ over in the corner and shook her head. “I thought we were gonna be adults.”
“She started it!”
A bit later I standin’ in a corner and TheDevil and my brother walked by, and I called her a bitch loud enough it the whole foyer heard it!
When Lil’Bub’s mom showed up I went up to her hugged her neck and told how much I missed her!! And stopped. Damn it. No one saw! I moved out to the middle of the doorway to the chapel and did it again and was much louder… we hadn’t made a big enough scene… we both just laughed about it later!!
Make faces at me! That Cow! Is that any way for a Deacon’s wife to act?? I Think Not! Me yes. I’m a heathen!
Well, after the weddin’ and my actin’ up… Bub and TheDevil didn’t stay for the reception. Which didn’t really bother Lil’Bub becuz That Bitch isn’t called the TheDevil for nothing! And of course, while we’re all standin’ around talkin’ about TheDevil, I throw my arms up in the air and shout, “ Woooooo The Devil Has Left Me!!” to the entire room.
Which embarrassed RubyJune… and my nieces… and my little nephews… Lil’Bub took it in stride!
And speakin’ of embarrassin’ RubyJune… remember she wouldn’t let me wear a hat… well… I opted for a feathery headband!!
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She said it looked like I had a bird on my head!!
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Bub, Lil’ Bub and Lil’Bub’s Momma.
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My peeps… and we had a ball!
I saw a man in his underwear... at the chapel.
We were pulled over by the Highway Patrol… received a warning for a broken headlight. whew!
I slipped on a wet spot on the floor in 5 inch heels and cracked my knee… after 3 cocktails, a tequila shot and half a beer. But I swear I hit a wet spot!!
I teased a little boy all night long… by hugging him every time I saw him. He ran from me on the dance floor.
My niece danced with all the young men… and dry humped the bride’s granny.
I copped a feel from my ex-sister in law’s sister… we’re now lifelong friends on Facebook.
I smooched on the bride’s granny… she was a super fun gal!!
We all avoided the freaky man at the bar… he looked like the guy in the slicker from “I know what you did last summer.”
And that’s all the news that’s fit to print.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Inspirations…

love-button-15I have been invited to join this link up by Johanson Journey to show what inspires me.

As you all well know, I’ve not been to inspired by anything lately. But I’ll play along.

Well. Okay, I did go shoppin’ the other day for a weddin’ gift for my nephew, Lil’Bub and called my aunt, VioletJane to tell her my plans and such only to find out she had bought the EXACT SAME GIFT!!

Are we psychotic or what??? Our ESPN was workin’ real good that day!!

 

But anyway…

I thought I had married my soul mate in Roy but there on the shoe display at Macy’s was my true love. But I wasn’t about to jeopardize my marriage over it… I’ll wait until there’s a sale!!

This is sorta what they looked like…181129216232886788_j63wi4IV_c And I would wear these every day!!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

A Smatterin’ Of Crap…

When Roy retired 12 years ago, he didn’t get “the gold watch”… his sidearm. He has pissed and moaned about it ever since…

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He’s a happy camper now! He was presented it in an unofficial official ceremony a week ago.

 

My nephew, Lil’Bub is getting’ married this week. With all the family drama that has taken place in the last year or so it will be interestin’ to see how all this takes place. Being the oldest, I’m naturally bossy and I told all of the people that I speak to, to behave. And let those that WE don’t speak to, show their true colors.

IMG_2214I wanted to where a hat but my sister won’t let me.

Maybe not that one but I tried many on for her and posted the photos on Facebook and she still said no.

I shopped today for a head band to wear instead. I think she’ll still roll her eyes and say “oh Lord.” but I don’t care.

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I’m not real sure why she don’t like them.IMG_2650

I was called a dork over this one!100_3190bunny

She should be glad I’m puttin’ on clothes!

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My Gyn gave my business the green light for sex and all that goes with it and then the PA said, “10 pounds in 4 months!!” My blood pressures too high and she thinks that diet and exercise will help lower it without using meds.

 

Link up with IA and Shawn… They Are Fabulous too!!

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