Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Rethinkin’ Being Zen…

 Oh Jilly!!!
Have I got a story for You!!
You know how I’m all Zen with spiders… I shower with one. One day I noticed one relaxin’ on the couch with me. It’s all good.
Right? They leave me alone and I don’t kill them. They eat the bugs I hate. It’s all Good!
And how I'm all brave with them... riiiight.
Friday morin’ Roy and I was out in the pool. He was vaccumin’ and I was just there for moral support. After we got out we went to the house to change. He got a towel and was dryin’ off and I pulled one down from the shower door to use.
I didn’t have my glasses on but out the corner of my eye I could see a spider on my boob!
HOLY O’SHIT! wolf-spider
Takin’ a shower with him is one thing or sittin’ the couch watchin’ TV is okay but him actually invadin’ my private space… like my boob… is entirely a horse of a different color!!!
All that passed thru my brain as I jumped up and down squeallin’ for Roy to get it off!!! I didn’t just slap it! I did that once and was stung by a wasp as I was drivin’ down the road!!  And that hurt like Hell!
So as long as Roy’s standin’ right there he can brush it off and I’ll be fine. The Shower Spider can go his way and I’ll go mine!!
So I stood perfectly still!!!
And squealed, “euuuuuwwww get it off! get it off!!!”
Roy brushed it off into the floor… and then trapped in a cup.
OH! MY! GOD!!!!
brown_recluse1It was NOT MY Shower Spider!!!!!!
It was a brown recluse!!!!!
Have you seen the damage that those little bastards can do??? Your skin rots off!!! Large patches of skin!!!!! I wanted to post a photo but I just can’t do that and think about my boob rottin’ off.

I was so not brave!!
I may rethink my whole Zen with Spiders approach to life.


Link Up with Shawn and Impulsive Addict


allstarme said...

::shudder:: I have seen those things and they ARE CREEPY.

Gina said...

How dare that recluse touch you without your consent! I would've stomped on him with my flip flops for you!

Jill said...

See. Told you, Nadine. Spiders are meant to be SQUISHED!!!!! ;)

Very glad Roy was there to swat that sucker away. A lady's boobs must always be protected.

Gah. Gives me the SHIVERS!!!!

Connie Weiss said...

Oh honey! That is so scary!

When I was growing up a friend of mine was bit on the face by one of those. It was terrible!

TMW Hickman said...

Wow, I wonder what a brown recluse was doing in your closet among your towels? They usually prefer attics and crawlspaces. I am glad that you did not get bit, but I bet the spider was more scared than you!

VandyJ said...

Full body shudders. EW EW EW! OK, deep breath. Wow. Still shuddering here. I hate hate hate spiders.

Nicole said...


Chell said...

Must have been a male spider. I am cool with spiders, I can look and smoosh with no heeby jeebies...snakes... now that's another story.

Stacie said...

Bugs give me the creeps!

Cathy Kennedy said...

Common spiders and Brown Recluses are totally different. You have EVERY right to be terrified! I think I would definitely rethink the whole co-existing with spiders thingy, just on the off chance you little spidey buddy is of the lethal variety. And, it's like who has time to check before you are bitten anyhow. Play it safe, my friend - avoid all 8-legged critters! ^.^

Gina said...

Holy Crap! What a huge ass spider and those brown recluse, they are nasty! You are lucky it didn't bite you because it would have rotted off or worse! I HATE spiders.

becca said...

OMG how frighten though i'm ok with spiders as long as they are not on me. Though come to think of it maybe it was a male spider and he was trying to cop a feel i mean he does have eight legs after all. ...lol

Shawn said...

Zen with a spider? I'm only zen with things that have fur, 4 legs, a tail and a loud bark.

I'm so glad your boob won't be rotten' off any time soon...you're such a hoot!

Thanks for linking up with us!

Mrs. Match said...

I could barely read this post. I'm so NOT zen with spiders. I flip the F out. UGHHH. You are too brave girl. Glad you didn't get bit!! Yuck yuck yuck.

Impulsive Addict said...

Shut up!!! Those bastards are nasty! I can't believe you had one on the girls! That was a close call. Im so glad you won't have boob rottage! That's a word, right?

RCL said...

I had a friend who had a brown recluse bite on her FACE once. But the boob would be very terrible too!!

gretchen said...

Eeeeeeeek! Brown recluses are bad boys! I'm usually all happy to share my world with spiders because...well...Charlotte's Web. What more do you need to hear. But a while back, we had a BLACK WIDOW infestation on our porch! Jude and I were out there watering the plants and he said "Look Mama, a spider." And when I spotted that hour glass on it's belly I screamed "GET A SHOE" and I smashed the hell out of it. So much for Charlotte.