Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A New Rule…

We were sittin’ at the Outback, drinkin’ tasty adult beverages when Roy said, “I gonna to make a new rule.”

Oh shit!

What have I done now?

I’m not allowed to mow… without supervision. I am not allowed to use the weed eater, becuz I hurt myself the one and only time I used it.

I’m banned from havin’ candles. Set one cat on fire and all candles are banned!

I am not to flirt, dance, or sit in cop cars becuz all those things lead to sex.

And those are just the tip of the iceberg!

And he wants to add another one to the long list of rules.

Don’t think that the rules don’t go both ways. I have decreed many myself.

And he sticks to them… If I can’t get in a cop car, he can’t shoot furry critters! Both of those goes against our grains!!

He’s must always remember what team he’s on at all times… MY TEAM!! Team Nadine!! Defend my honor at all times against StupidAss People… like Eddie and Loretta! I may be off my rocker but I still should be respected!

He is never to drink alone. If I’m out and about I may need him to come and get me. He said, “I have provided you with a car that is in tip top runnin’ condition and you should never break down.” But what If I am taken to jail!!??!!

He’s not allowed to fart in the bathwater! I think that is just self-explanatory.

So there I sat fearin’ the worst, and he said, “I feel we should never have a major conversation while drinkin’.”

Whew! Good call!! He was so mad at me for the last major conversation we had, he barely spoke to me for 3 days!! And we are on day 4 and he’s makin’ a rule.

And then he sewed up the loophole…. “no conversations good or bad.”

Shit!

There goes gettin' him drunk and talkin’ him into cruises!!!

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Oh yeah! I GOT SCREWED!!!

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6 comments:

Jo said...

Those are some valid rules!

allstarme said...

LOL yeah you never know what could transpire during a drunken conversation.

Stacie said...

What about just slightly tipsy? If he didn't specify, I think tipsy conversations should still be allowed.

Bdubs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Match said...

haha, I agree with Stacie. :-)

Nicole said...

I couldn't help but giggle. i'm not sure, I guess that's just what came over. You have a knack for writing things that make me giggle.