Friday, March 23, 2012

The Spin Cycle…

I have wanted to participate in the Spin Cycle Link Up for quite some time, but the subjects were just not something I could relate to… luck? I have none. Embarassin’ moments?? Shit happens to me so much that I don’t really get full blown red in the face mortified and want to die… I just laugh at myself and move on. Roy on the other hand gets embarrassed by me all the frickin’ time and this isn't his blog. 

But this weeks topic is Road Trips… I can relate. But which story should I post?
Being lost in Kansas City?
The Trip to Hawaii… which isn’t a road trip but interestin’ none the less. Remember? It was the trip with QueenVictoria and RoySr? It has it’s own category!
One of the Trips to Galveston?

But I think I’ll go with “How I Spent My Summer Vacation-2005”. My thoughts are little scattered but it was THE ROAD TRIP FROM HELL!!!
I wrote this a long time ago... an email to all my RealWorld friends and family... right after it happened.
So you will see that I have ALWAYS been THIS way... And now I blog.
A bit of Background... my Aunt called me up and said "Come with me to take Granny and Grandpa to California."
I stupidly said yes!!!

I was very worried that this trip with the grandparents would be a mistake!!! I may never speak to my grandpa again!!!!!
By day 2 when we hit Escondido, California, I told my aunt to take me to the nearest airport and put me on a plane back to Tulsa!!!
She wouldn't do it!!
After having a knock down drag out with Grandpa in Tucson traffic that was all I wanted!!!!
I was doing fine but he didn't think so!! A man that can't turn his head to see the road behind him is telling me how to drive!!!!
My aunt and I had plans to stop and see things along the way but NO!
We were driven thru this trip like Sherman's March to the Sea!!!!
WE drove for first 2 days... 12 hours each day!!!!
He said we need to stop becuz Granny couldn't go any further... she was sleeping most of the time!!
Be a man and own up to the fact that you are tired and need to stop!!!!!
Day 5, I was crying on the phone to Roy to come and get me!!!
I was somewhere in the middle of Oregon by this time. Grandpa had said that my presence was making him sick after an argument that he started.
Roy said it would take him 4 days to find me, to just gut it out and he would take me later to do it right. He is a good man!!!
We did manage to drag Grandpa thru the Sequoia National Forest. "Well, we have tree in Oklahoma!"
Good God!!!
We were whipped thru there too... "I don't want to be in here after dark."
I could not stop to take pix becuz the car might overheat!!!!!!
I was almost in tears at thinking I could not get out and see the largest trees in America... I wanted out and to go home!!!
WE drove 250 miles out of the way to Coure Delane, Idaho so he could look up "relatives". There is a town called Harrison just 20 miles away... It says clearly on the map HARRISON... but when we got there, He realized it wasn't HARLESON!!! I told My Aunt we should drag his ass down there anyway!!!!
WE could have been almost to Mount Rushmore by this point.......but NO!!!! I was so pissed off!!!
I didn't take my cell phone becuz RubyJune said I could use hers, it has nationwide and loaded with minutes, but becuz she left it at his house, it was HIS!!!!
Luckily, Aunty had her's so I could make my daily call to Roy.
About 5 days into this trip from Hell, Grandpa realized neither he or Granny could hear it ring from all the missed calls, I got to carry it!!!
I couldn't use it mind you. I had to sneak off to call my husband!!!!!!!!
I was whispering to RubyJune in a bathroom in Montana to keep her updated on the progress of the torture!!!
When we made it to Iowa and I knew when we were going to be home soon, RubyJune had the nerve to say..."Can you keep him out longer? I have something I need to have installed at his house and I don't want to do it when he is there."
Has she not been listening to me all this time???????
By the time we got across Idaho, Montana and into Wyoming we stopped at Sheridan for the night. There was a tizzy over the trip to Mount Rushmore. I stayed out of it and let him and Aunty go at it.
I didn't care, all I wanted was to go home!!
She and I had already decided what road to take but after the tizzy it was decided to go Rapid City and go down and come right back up to Rapid City so he would shut up!! There was the sweetest little old lady working at the visitor center just after we crossed the border into South Dakota... I would like to go back and kiss her on the forehead… she took out her pen and drew on the map the EXACT SAME ROAD that my aunt and I had planned to take!! And he said " that sounds like a good Idea!"
After we got to Mt Rushmore, He announced we had 30 minutes to see what we came to see and get back on the road... 30 MINUTES!!!!
Oh well that is just about the same amount of time I spent at the beach at Oceanside!!!!
Now how many sailors can a gal pick up in 30 minutes?????
Well, I could have picked up a cop in Sheridan... in less than 10 minutes!! I'm a hot babe!!
Granny said after we left Oregon that she will never take another trip with him again.
I took over 200 pix out the windows of the van becuz he would not let us stop!!!
As I was showing Roy the pix titled "My summer vacation at 65 miles per hour", he just laughed... it ain't funny!!!
My Aunt and I made the most of it and it would have been super without him. WE gambled and played the scratcher cards along the way even Granny did and we laughed at him behind his back.
I teased Granny all the way and kept her from being in tears over the whole thing... I would rather die than to cause her any grief!! I bought her a "beer", she wouldn't touch it. It was a cream soda!!! I teased her becuz she was gambling... she won $9 on one ticket!!
One day we are getting gas and she said, "Sister, those men are looking at you."
"Yep, Granny, I am a hot babe!"
And then for no reason on earth, a biker helped her out of the van. He was just so sweet. Just as soon as we got in the bathroom and the door closed, " Why did he do that?"
"Granny, you are just a hot Babe!!"
And Thank God for my Aunt's little "Happy Pills"!!!!
Never travel with an old man and if you grow up to be an old cranky man... stay at home and let the kids have fun!!!!

Last April she called me up and said, "Come with me to take Granny and Grandpa to California."
"Not just no but Hell no!!!"


VandyJ said...

That does not sounds like a fun trip at all.
Did you get to go back and take time to see it all?

gretchen said...

HYSTERICAL! I know it didn't seem like it at the time, but...It should be a movie. I have such a clear picture of cranky old grandpa and sweet granny with her naughty scratchers!

Thanks so much for jumping in the Spin Cycle! You are linked!

Ginny Marie said...

Wow, that sounds like the longest road trip EVER! It's too bad you weren't able to take time to see things from OUTSIDE the van.

CaJoh said...

Goes to show that every trip is an adventure. Thanks for your spin.

pegbur7 said...

Great spin althoug at the time it made your head spin!