Thursday, December 29, 2011

Happy New Year!!!

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2011 was not my year! It sucked for me health-wise! I want 2011 to Jolly the Fuck OUT!!
Next year is the year of the dragon on the Chinese calendar… And I am A DRAGON!!
It is my year and I will make it a good one. My resolution is to be happy and spread as much of my Happy Shit all around!
I think that is a good goal!
Be Positive! I will not let those miserable people get to me. If they want to wallow in their negativity and meanness, they can do it without me!



And just so you know, Roy’s a Tiger!!
Figures! Actually, he’s the ying to my yang!

Don’t drink and drive! Just don’t!
Hugs and have fun... Party like it’s 2012!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas, Family Bullshit, And Divine Intervention…

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Talk to Us Tuesday with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn… Link Up!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas.

Not all us are so lucky… As you will learn.

On Christmas Eve Roy prepped my car for my trip to my Granny’s for our Christmas dinner. He discovered that I has a hole in my radiator… SHIT!!!

And Yet… SCORE!!!

I called my grandmother to say that I couldn’t make it to dinner and why. And she said, “Sister! Did you hit a deer?”

Isn’t she so cute?

I didn’t have a mom, but I have a granny. She raised me and I would do anything for her… ANYTHING. But with Granny comes Grandpa. And he’s a JackAss!!!

Remember when he ruined my Christmas a couple of years ago?

And remember when he ruined my trip to California?

Or the time he gave my Twinkies to my StupidAssCousin???

Oh Yeah… He’s a JackAss!

Hold that thought.

While I was on the phone with Granny, I could hear Roy startin’ up the pickup! He’s a good man. One Christmas when I was snowed in, he drove me 6 hours… the trip normally takes 4 but with all the snow in my end of the state, it was slow goin’! But he drove me to my daughter’s so that I could spend time with my grandson for his very first Christmas!! I was there 30 minutes. Roy’s a really good man. And now he’s warmin’ up the truck to take me to my Granny’s!

So I let him off the hook, “I cancelled my plans with my family.”

And he smiled. “I guess I’ll cancel my plans with my family.”

Score!!

No trip to OKC!!!

About 1:00, RubyJune called all in tears.

Shit!!!

“Sister, God put a hole in your radiator so that you didn’t have to come and put up with Grandpa!”

Bless her baby heart, isn’t she cute?

Apparently Grandpa jumped with both feet into the middle of my sister and broke her heart to pieces. She the one that comes runnin’ when he needs the TV fixed or if he needs to go somewhere in Tulsa.

Not no more! RubyJune has had her fill! And I’ll you more about all that later. All is part of the story of my life… sadly.

And becuz of the Divine Intervention, it’s gonna cost me $600 to fix my car!

Shit!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Monday, December 19, 2011

Now Is The Time For All Good Men To Come To The Aid Of Their Country…

or women!

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Roy said, “Do you know that to become a fireman, Jason (his co-worker… YOUNG AND STUDDLY co-worker) has to compete for the position. You know, carry the fat woman down a flight of stairs.”

“OH REALLY! Well if Jason needs a volunteer, I’ll gladly be his to do whatever he may need.”

And Roy said, “huh. I’m sure you would.”

“Oh yes. Whatever he needs. Mouth to mouth, chest compressions, ANYTHING Jason needs to become a fireman.”

“Sure.”

“Hey. Far be it for me to hinder a young man’s dream.”

You know. I don’t think Roy took me very serious.

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Oh Yeah, Carry Me Baby!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Can We Talk?

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I just came home from the gym, where I watched a TV Ad selling a man shaver and the man shaved his chest and back and well his whole body… he had hair on his head.

He kept that.

Let’s talk about manscapin’. I’m all for manscapin’ the under carriage… you know… Elvis and the Backup Band. That helps with “face to face chats with Elvis” but when it comes to chest hair, I want my man to be a man and have it!

Remember when you were growin’ up and you teased the boys… what? That was just me?? I did! I teased them as much as they teased me!

Anyway they were so proud of that chest hair, it meant they were men! I would pull on it just for kicks. And every once in a while I’d yank that ONE HAIR OUT!! Oh those boys were so mad at me… and now men shave???

I don’t get it!

Roy’s a hairy man. I love him just that way. 

But how do you feel about a hairless man?

Take a break from all the blogs about Christmas and Giftin’ and all that and tell me what you think about hair on a man.

Maybe one day we’ll chat about “shaved cats”… I don’t get that either.

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Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Becuz I Don’t Have A Thing…

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The Happy Buddha in Galveston, Texas… best Chinese Food!!!

It’s good luck to rub the belly of the Buddha… I haven’t rub it enough! We’ve tried to buy our own Buddha but haven’t found one we like. It has to be JUST RIGHT!

And it’s not that we are Hindu, Jewish, or Evangelical… I carry a 4 leaf clover in my purse! I carried a rabbit foot for years! I need all the help I can get.

It’s not been my year.

But next year… I will shine!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Late To The Party…

I’m slow to get around today. I wanted to finish my sewin’ project but I hit a bump in the road and had to stop until I get more fabric. But none the less it’s Talk To Us Tuesday!!!

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So Link Up and make new friends or converse and catch up with old ones.

Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn are couple of really great gals!

It’s been one of those weeks! A real roller coaster!! On my birthday I had a nasty cold that lasted 4 or 5 days! I couldn’t kick it at all! Contrary to popular belief, I don’t mix my drugs and booze! It’s either booze or cold medicine… so I choose booze.

Do you think that’s why I had that cold for so long?

Doh!

My hub did come through like a champ and bought me a pretty necklace and matchin’ earrings of garnets and diamonds. He picked them out all on his own. After I turned my nose up at black diamonds, he just took the bull by the horns and bought what he wanted!

A while back, I bought a couch at an auction. It’s near new! And a sleeper sofa!! Well. Last night we decided that it has bed bugs!!

FUCK ME RUNNIN’!!!

All of my furniture is settin’ outside and all clothes that was in the livin’ room is in my car. Why?

Freezing. Bedbugs are also vulnerable to temperatures below 32 F (0 C) but you'd need to leave the items outdoors or in the freezer for several days… Per the Mayo Clinic!

The upside to this… I get a brand spankin’ new couch. For some reason, I’m not thrilled. I never saw a man move so quickly to throw a couch out in the yard. Roy practically HULKED out and tossed it like a ball! If he hadn’t been in such a hurry to get the rest out and all the carpet vacuumed he would have set the damn thing on fire right there under the red bud trees in the back yard.

I was just so sick to my stomach over it. We both were under our mattress with flashlights and THANK ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY WE DID’T FIND ANY EVIDENCE OF THEM!!!

THANK GOD FOR MY LOVE OF SPIDERS!!!!

This is like the time my daughter had head lice. I wanted to burn the whole house down. But just burned her pillows. And I didn’t shave her head but I cried while I combed it every day with that medicine to kill them.

So it’s been a roller coaster… I was gonna buy Roy a Playstation 3 for Christmas but now I get a new couch.

Do you think I may be lookin’ at this all wrong??

So what’s new with you?