Wednesday, August 31, 2011

WWTK…

 

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This week’s questions are about your cell phone… Link up with Mamarazzi or Queso!

{1}Do you prefer to text or call?

 If it’s important I call. If it’s not I text. Though I have been in some stiff arguments with my mother thru texting. It was ugly.


{2}What is the last text message in your phone and who is it from?

From an actual person and not FB, it says, “I have a weird question. Should I color my beard?”

I have no idea who it’s from. NONE.


{3}What are your favorite phone apps?

Apps??? My phone isn’t that smart!!

I’m old school.

I don’t want the back of my hair shorter than the front.

I don’t care for the new low waisted jeans.

I do not like auto-tuned songs.

And I do not have a smart phone.


{4}At what age do you think kids are ready for a cell phone?

When they are old enough not to lose things. My oldest was 14 and was still losin’ her glasses!! The kid couldn’t see without them!! She lost 3 coats one winter. Oh and the retainer!! Let’s not forget the mad searches for the retainer!!!

My youngest, the only thing she lost at 14 was her virginity. So I don’t think I’m one to ask about if a kid is ready for a cell phone.

Geez, I wish she had just lost a coat too!!


{5}Share a current pic or video taken with your phone.

 

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FB16 Friend me!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Carpet…

The kitchen…

IMG_3667 And Scooter.

The livin’ area…

IMG_3665 There is actually 2 rooms with this sable color.

Woo Hoo!!!

It’s sooooooo soft. My friend Jesse wants to have a slumber party just so we can sleep on my new carpet! And I almost hate havinta move that crappy furniture back in on it.

But Roy said, NO! Mark that down for Number 3 on his list of no’s he has told me this year… JackAss!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Gettin' New Carpet Is HardWork!!!

I was told that the carpet installers would be here at 9:30… of course that didn’t happen. It was more like 11:00!! And then I was cooped up in my bedroom until 4:30. 2 men to carpet 3 rooms and it took over 6 hours!?!?

And we had no water. No showers. No toilet. Awful. Just awful.

But…

I have new carpet!!!!!

Me and Scooter camped out on the bed and watched what Roy likes to refer to as, “how to kill your spouse TV”. I didn’t learn anything.

After the workers left, the rest of the cats slowly came outta hidin’. Scooter was in the kitchen layin’ on the freshly glued carpet gettin' high, while Roy made adjustments to the doors and I just watched him. I couldn’t do anything becuz he wanted to put the border back around the livin’ room before we moved the furniture back in… so I just did nothing.

Which is fine.

Really. I was Pooped Out from Just Watchin’.

Later after my desk was put back in place, I was in the bedroom with George when WE HEARD A COMMOTION!! Roy was cussin’ and hollerin’ “You stupid son of a bitch! Scooter!! Don’t you go up there!! SHIT!” Roy was stompin’ up the stairs as George and I followed the whole action from the room below. Roy was still cussin’ at Scooter as he stomped across the room… but not quick enough to catch Scooter!

I said to George, “Are you glad you’re the good cat?”

Well, by the time Roy had run up the stairs and stomped all around and with all that cussin’ and hollerin’ and all back down the steps, he was hot and sweaty! It had been a long day and this was his breakin’ point.

“Fine. He’s up there under the bed! It’s hot up there. The stupid son of a bitch!! We need something loud to scare him out.”

“There are 2 vacuums up there and he hates them.” So back up we both go this time. Roy lookin’ for a plug in and me singin’ to Scooter. He hates when I sing. He’s a critic. Damn Cat!

Neither thing worked. So I had to resort to trickery. I had to appeal to what Scooter loves more than anything. I had to play dirty. You see, there’s rat poison up there and it smells like candy to animals and the last thing I need is for one of them to munch on it like it’s chocolate!

So I did the only thing I could do… I got my cell phone and scroll thru all the ringtones to find the right one. When I found it, I started up the steps “Scooter!! Touchdown!!” And hit play, Boomer Sooner rang out.

As I sat on the top step, I played it 2 more times and yelled every time. “Touchdown!!!”

In middle of the 3 time thru Boomer Sooner, he bumped my arm, “You stupid cat!”

I scooped him up and walked down stairs. Roy opened the door, with a big grin on his face, “Did you really catch him with that song?”

“Yep. He loves that song.”

And that’s not the last of the adventures with Scooter… He’s such a brat.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Thursday, August 25, 2011

WTF!!!!

 

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Link Up!!

1) Does hearing about the health benefits of food products ever discourage you from eating those products (like hearing about the fiber content in cereal or probiotics in yogurt)?

 I eat what I want. And I don’t care if it’s good for me or not. And the size of my ass shows it!!

Here’s the deal. I only have one life and I will live it my own way. Do the things I want to do. Eat the things I want to eat. Wear the things I want to wear. Live life on your own terms… And Hang the Rest!!


2) If you were fired from a job for no good reason and could do anything on your way out without the possibility of any future retribution, what might you do to get a little revenge?

Burn the place down when it was empty of all living things.

What?

MY OWN TERMS!! And you said no fear of retribution!!


3) You're at a job interview and the person interviewing you is extremely physically attractive. Do your raging hormones effect how well you carry yourself during the remainder of your interview?

 Flirt my ass off!! If I don’t get the job maybe I’ll get lucky after the interview!!

 

4) We all know we're supposed to follow a healthy diet, but hardly anyone actually follows the food guidelines put out by the government. If you were to draw a food pyramid of your actual eating, what would be your major "food groups?"

Bacon, Ice cream, salsa, and tequila.

 
5) There is a current TV advertising campaign in which the Windows company sets up a computer store in a person's house and surprises him or her. (Watch a commercial here.) What would you love to have secretly built in your home while you were out?

A whole new house! If I have to narrow it down, a new bedroom with a closet and huge bathroom and dressing area complete with a washer and dryer right there in the closet. That’s what my laundry consists of bath towels and clothes. Take it straight from the dryer and hang it up and put away the towels.


6) What kind of people do you typically try to avoid?

Family.

What? Have you read my blog??


7) A friend just shared a link to a webpage full of misspellings from Facebook statuses and the obnoxious responses to them (click here for a laugh). What is a word you often have trouble spelling without the help of spell-check?

All of them. I con’t spelt constist!!

8) Today (August 25) is National Banana Split Day. What toppings do you want on your celebratory banana split?

A scoop of vanilla, one of chocolate chip cookie dough and one of butter pecan. With toppings of peach, hot fudge, caramel and of course calf slobbers and chopped almonds.


9) What is the worst thing to say to someone who just got dumped by their significant other?

“I told you so.”

And, “I buried him deep enough the dog won’t dig him up.”

I didn’t get a “free of retribution” card for this one!


10) You are walking by a pay phone in public and it starts ringing. Do you answer it or keep on walking?

 Just keep on walkin’!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hump Day: We Want To Know…

I just couldn’t do last week’s WWTK!

UGH!!

Q&A about family… Just couldn’t do it. Too close from havin’ exiled myself… again!

I am much better this week. I am. Really. I just have a to do list… buy a cocktail dress for the cruise becuz my hip seem to have widen a bit too much.

Okay. A lot. But still… I have to go shoppin’ today. And I have to get ready for the carpet to be installed on Friday!

Yep! Thank All That Is Good And Holy!! Friday!!! So I’ve been movin’ my sewin’ stuff upstairs. And there’s a lot of it.

A. Lot.

You’d think I’d just whip up a cocktail dress but I… there’s a movie quote for this… “A man’s Got to know his limitations!”

I can sew the shit outta tote bags but dresses… whole other story!

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Host Mamarazzi and Queso … Link Up!

1. What is the best advice someone has ever given you?

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. My daddy told me that about my stupidass cousin and it has carried over into my adult life.

I try!! I Do!!

Teenage girls lie. And when they become adults, they will expand on the first lies. Even if you know this child inside and outside… they will still lie.

Trust me.


2. What is your greatest accomplishment?

I rode my Harley to Sturgis for the The Big Biker Rally!

I did!!!!

There are a lot of men that have not done that!

sturgisOn the border of South Dakota 2002.

3. Who do you admire?

I admire a lot of folks.

I admire someone that has great trouble free kids.

I admire those who get to have Sunday Dinners with their grandkids.

I admire women that are happy with themselves and say fuck it to everything else. I try to be like that.

I admire men… lots of men… just becuz they are easy on the eyes!


4. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I’d like to be taller. So That when I tell people how much I weigh they wouldn’t say, “I wish I weighed only that!”

Really?? And you’re 12 foot 2!!

Try being 4 foot 11 long enough to step on the scales. Bitch!

5. How do you want to be remembered?

For being a free spirit and livin’ life on MY Terms! Without Toxic People… even if they are my own kin!

Fly High FreeByrd!

I will make it around to everyone, I promise, but it may be tomorrow before I finish… getting’ around to you all. I know exactly what dress I want. I just hope it’s still there.

And becuz the carpet comes on Friday, I will be without internet for a brief time.

FB16 Please friend me.

Wait. That sounds like beggin’!

But still… please. Friend me.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Versatile Blogger…

So last week, Jill from Jill’s World selected me as a Versatile Blogger.

I feel like I let her down. I wasn’t feelin’ very versatile… at all.

It was a bad week.

But seein’ how she feels I have what it takes to be versatile, I had better put on my big girl panties and deal with life in a big girl way.

Bounce back with vengeance!!

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So there are RULES with the Versatile Blogger award.

1. Thank the person who gave the award and link back to them in your post… Which is Jill… Jill’s World. She is super sweet!! Check her out.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

7 things about me:

1) I love Ma and Pa Kettle Movies. LOVE! It’s corny. It’s funny. It’s not hard watch. It reminds me of my Granny’s people… good people.

2) Every dream that I have had in the last 7 months all come back to the fact that I’m horny. BIG TIME! HORNY! Do you know that there is no real cure for it either? Trust Me!

3) I worked for a veterinarian for 12 years. I loved just about every minute of it.. Just about. Havin’ my hand up the business end of goat was not high on my list of fun. Nor was the maggots. Or deadbeats.

4) I have in the past, torn down a ‘72 390 Ford engine to replace the timing chain and reset the timing by myself. I would have loved to have been a mechanic. My daddy talked me out of it, when I was in high school and thinkin’ about goin’ to VoTech to learn the finer points of engine repair. He said that men wouldn’t trust a woman to work on their cars so I let it go.

5) I love peaches. I love anything and everything peach. From the color to the fruit! my prom dress was peach and white. My daughter’s baby bed was peach. But my signature color is red. I’m the harlot in the red bra.

6) I hate… HATE… innards! How anyone can eat liver or sweetbreads or any of that crap and think it’s a gourmet or a delicacy is nuts! That’s what you throw out to the cats to eat!! Roy guts a deer and leaves that shit on the ground! It’s nasty!

7) I wish I had a gay husband. Not that I wish for Roy to be gay. I just want someone to shop with and do fun stuff that Roy’s Manliness gets in the way of… pedis and massages or to go to chick flicks. He goes but I know his heart isn’t it. He needs a butchy wife too. I’m a tomboy and all but you know I’m not one to enjoy gun shows or huntin’.

 

And here are 15 blogs that Jill listed and I like most of them too. Some I haven’t had a chance to check just yet. I am listin’ her also to give a big shout out to all… we all can use more friends. It’s a hard world sometimes and we need all the friends we can get.

 

Okay well that’s gonna be a lot to take in… and I’ve had internet problems today. A little rain and all is lost… damn it! And I’m not one to play by the rules anyway.

Thanks for all the well wishes and support. I deeply appreciate every one of you.

Big Okie Hugs!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Lightweight!!!

Saturday evening I made chicken burritos for supper and homemade rotel cheese dip… My own rotel! And I served it all up with a margarita to Roy and my homemade lemonade for me… with rum! YUM YUM!!!

After supper, I gathered the sheets from the dryer and took them to the bedroom to put them on the bed.

A tiny bit later, Roy staggered to the bedroom, “I thought you were in here poutin’ and I came to smooth that over, not to help you put the sheets back on.”

Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever??

He thought I was poutin’!! I mean I had been for the last few days. But not this time.

He stumbled around after the sheet ends, “I can’t do this, I’m tipsy! I didn’t come in here to help you.”

And yet he did… drunk on one margarita.

Lightweight!!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Kicked In The Teeth…

I have told numerous people that writin’ in their blog is indeed cathartic… So I’ll heed my own advice.

Many years ago,  my oldest daughter EdithAnne, left home in an uproar of hate and lies… burnin’ her bridges as she went. She said things that she can’t take back. I think she initially just wanted some attention and sympathy from a couple of boys or as a way to get out of my house.

It worked. The family was divided and I exiled myself from my mom, my sister, and my daughters. They left me. So I built up a wall between me and those people. I was tryin’ to save my own peace of mind, my sanity, and save Roy. I have had people that know me quite well that ask me how I could side against my own child… She lied. He didn’t.

Roy was treated very badly... he forced to retire from a job he loved. If I had left him he would have been crucified. I stayed with him becuz I loved him, I knew the truth.

I wished with all my being my mother had aborted me in 1964 so that 2 very good men would have had very different and very happy lives becuz I hadn’t been born to fuck them up.

I have dealt with my mother issues and do not carry them around with me. Though, it may seem that way. I vent about her a great deal. I have learned to treat her as a distant relative and not get so emotionally attached to her. She will never be the mother I wanted. Never.

So when I blew up on her of Facebook, It didn’t bother me one bit when she deleted me. Good riddance!

A few years ago, EdithAnne reached out to me. She wanted to have me in her life. She wanted her children to get to know me. I was very skeptical. Every time I reached out to her, she pushed me away. But just like I want my mom to be in life as my mother, I want to be in EdithAnne’s life as her mother.

We walked on eggshells around each other.

We chit chatted pleasantly.

We even took a couple of road trips together that went really well.

But yesterday, I was kicked in the teeth… again. She called me brainwashed and toxic.

She went on a rampage against Roy, my sister, and me.

My sister said, “don’t take it personal! she’s on drugs!” This time, my sister sees the truth.

Roy said, “just delete my facebookAcount!” He doesn’t give a flyin’ fuck about it… or her for that matter.

So today I did. I deleted mine real account and his. I don’t want to put him through any more of her bullshit. He is a good man that doesn’t deserve what she’s done to him. I feel like a burden to him.

I don’t care if the carpet never comes.

I don’t care if I ever have surgery.

I don’t care if I wake up tomorrow.

I’m not sure I feel all that better… give me some time though.

Thanks for the good thoughts and well wishes.

Not Feelin’ It…

Too much family drama and I just can’t find my funny bone.

And I don’t have the desire to deal with it in this forum.

Done for now.

Monday, August 15, 2011

And The Cherry On This Shitty Sundae…

Someone is selling diaper covers using my VelvetTush!!

I could just cry. Well I have.

I have tried to be flattered by this latest development like when the man in the sandal opened a MySpace with velvettush or when the chick took it for Twitter… but this is hard. I could have dotcom’d me and been velvettushdotcom… but not now.

For the last 6 years I have been googlin’ myself and it all came back to me. And not now that some one has stole me.

I am wounded. seriously. wounded.

What happened to originality?

Lady!! Use you own brain… come up with something else. You could be any tush in the world… any. But why velvet?

Roy said, “years ago, I had cop’o year in my grasp but they kicked me in the gut. It happens.”

I don’t feel better.

So bloggers… do it. buy your domain. And save yourself the hurt and tears of being ripped off.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Is Soooooo Aggravated!!!!

I could spit nails!!

My feather’s are ruffled!!

The dr became ill and my hysterectomy was postponed. I was told I was priority! I was told I was on the “unknown complications surgery list”… that one one was ahead of me… and here it is 3 weeks later and I’m still not on the schedule!!

Is my definition priority different than theirs???? Spit Nails!!

My carpet still isn’t here!! I was told 3 weeks.

Today marks 4 weeks!! No reassurin’ phone calls to smooth my feathers.

And… Annnnnnd… I still do not have my bowlin’ shoes that I ordered in April to replace the pair that fell apart! The people at the bowlin’ alley always say, “it’s on back order.”

Really, 5 months??

When I worked with the public, I went out of my way to do my job well… to treat my customers the way I wanted to be treated.

Sure, I sometimes was overwhelmed and forgot some things but I always made it right.

I paid for people’s bills from my pocket! When the town flooded and a woman lost all her stuff and one of her dogs died while in my care… a really old dog… a good Samaritan paid most of her bill.

I drove to houses and picked up old ladies’ dog becuz they were too old to drive… even though they had family that lived in the same town!! I did it.

When I worked as a clerk in a convenience store, a young woman needed milk for her kids. I paid for it. I had two kids and I know what it’s like to down and out.

I’ve called clients when they were hospitalized, hugged the longtime client’s spouse after a funeral, called to say Fluffy came thru surgery with flyin’ colors, and I’ve pumped gas for old ladies that never have done it.

Does that sound like a heartless uncarin’ bitch? I was recently called that. I’ll own the bitch part… I have my moments but uncarin’??

But anyway…

Where’s the work ethics?

Where’s the compassion?

Where’s my carpet??

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

HumpDay Q & A…

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Hosted by Mamarazzi and Queso… link up!

I missed last week becuz of boot shoppin’.

I love this week’s questions…

{1} If you could be on any game show what would it be?

The Price is Right… But not really. I don’t like the MC now. He has an air about him that just doesn’t sit well with me. But anyway… When I was a child, my little brother and I would play along at home. Whoever guessed the closest got to play along with the contestant that got to go up on stage. It was mostly me. And if we won the prize, we would get points towards who got to go first in the showcase showdown… which was mostly me. And of course which ever one of us guess the closest was the big winner of the day.

We were country kids and this was back before video games… we managed to make our own games and have fun.


{2} If you could choose to stay any certain age forever, what age would it be?

35. That’s what I am now and I have been for the last 12 years. It suits me.


{3} What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Sleepin’ soundly until That Cat George wanted something!! He sits at the bedroom door and cries and cries and cries… so I got up. And do you know what he wanted?? You will never in a million years guess… never.

For me to walk to the kitchen and shake the food down in the food dispenser.

I kid you not. He’s happy and I’m not.


{4} What would i find in your fridge right now?

Lots and lots of leftovers and the makin’ for citrus infused booze. There’s orange, lemon, and lemon/lime. I’ll use it later for “I made it Monday” project… stay tuned.


{5} If you were a piece of furniture what would you be? why?

A rocker/recliner… I’m comfortable and versatile… and I need a little refurbishin’. My rocker is bit crooked. And a new cover… something with a nice tan. This freckle print is worn in spots.

 

And that’s all she wrote... link up!

And PS: I’m not on the surgery schedule for at least another 2 weeks… UGH!!

Monday, August 08, 2011

Salsa, Margaritas, And A Vlog…

I am gonna to link this up with two different link-ups.
The Monthly Vlog… hosted by Mamarazzi and Seriously Shawn!  You can click those links to find out the details of the vlog, but the link up isn’t until Tuesday Aug 9th. They are offerin’ a prize with this… Woo Hoo!!
They want to know something that ticks you off… for me it’s Droughts, Roy’s Rules… and no Patron.
And they also want to know what your favorite summer drink is… which was a question posed from Jolene.... sooooo…



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And the other is I Made It Monday… hosted by Conni.
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I hope you enjoy it!! I know I did!!
Bottoms Up!!

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Roy’s Rules…

So I didn’t go to Iowa for the funeral but Roy left me a list of things to do and more importantly… THINGS NOT TO DO!!

1) Do not lock your self out!!

Yes I’ve done that in the past. And he added, “It’s too hot and you’ll die.”

Always a valid point. Do not die.

2) Check Skimmer Morning and Night!

The pool skimmer… check! Easy Peasy! He over-filled the pool and so there’s no leaves to clog up the skimmer.

3) Make Sure Out Door Cats + Dogs Have Water!

Duh!! But really. I have to be reminded.

4)Do Not Leave That Smelly Thing Plugged In At Night or When Gone!!!!!

The scentsy pot. It sets on the stove. How could it possibly cause the house to burn down?? I go off and leave the light on in the turtle tank!! But no. I must turn it off.

Now Those were the only rules that he wrote down for me… and there’s room for many… many… MANY loopholes!!

And nothing about shoppin’!! He said turn the smelly thing off while gone… that right there opens the door for shoppin’!!

So why did he pitch a fit when he found out I took advantage of tax free day???

Becuz he’s a jackass!!

And he had his parents and siblings for an audience.

I spent $150!! On 3 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of shoes, 1 pair of shorts, 3 shirts, 1 swimsuit bottom and numerous patterns… they were only $1.58… and fabric. I thought I did very well.

And I almost forgot… milk and ham!

Oh and cat litter.

And a dress.

We spent $130 on just his Boots!!

Men!

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Boot Shoppin’…

Yes. I had to go with Roy to buy boots. You know that I love to shop. But you also know that I’d rather be beat with a 2x4 than to shop with Roy for Roy.

I’d rather have a root canal.

It had to be done. He needed a new pair. The last pair was bought in 2006 and that is pretty good for Roy… to have a pair of boots last 6yrs!

And that pair it took 2 states, 6 or 7 different towns and at least 12 different western wear stores to find a pair that he settled for… not the ones he was searchin’ for… but just bought becuz it had taken all damn day to shop for boots!!!

With Roy headed out to Iowa for the funeral, he had to have a pair. I have been tellin’ him for the last 10 years that he no longer has to have black trooper boots. He can have exotics and many different pairs if he so chooses… But that’s not how Roy rolls. It has to be Nacona black with no stitchin’ on the toe. They don’t make them any more.

We’ve looked.

Every where!!

So this boot shoppin’ trip I convinced him to start where we have had good luck in the past with findin’ something he likes and the clerks are very friendly. He’s a pill when it comes to shoppin’ for him so I need all the help I can get and women clerks help out a great deal. He’s less hateful to them!! So when the young lady approached us, I told her what we wanted in the size we needed and she pointed them all out. And then I said, “We’ll be here for a long while, if you have other things to do, go head on. This is a long process.”

She smiled. “Gotcha.”

Seriously. We were there every bit of an hour in a small store with a wide selection of boots. I picked out a pretty black cherry pair of Dan Posts and Roy turned his nose up at them. He tried on 3 or 4 different pair of BLACK ones on… none sang to him.

He said, “I’m not like you. I don’t hear the music.”

By now, another lady has taken over the boot section to watch us and she got into a banter with Roy. He tried on her selections and still no music.

And for the first time ever, he said to me, “Which pair do you like?” I pointed over my shoulder to the black cherry ones.

And he tried them on!

He liked them!!! But there was a flaw with them that we just couldn’t live with… a deal breaker… the toe had a weak spot.

I said, “try this black pair. They are exactly the same!”

And that’s when the clouds parted and sun shone down with little angels playin’ harps… he heard the music. I threw my hands in the air and declared this to be a record! An hour to buy Roy a pair of boots!

We walked out with yet another pair of black boot… this time Dan Post got his approval.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Road Trip!!!

Roy favorite aunt has passed away. This means his family is headed to Iowa in the next couple of days. She was a very dear and sweet woman and he thinks more of her than his own mother. Period.

I will not be makin’ the trip!

As much as I adore his Iowa family, I am not… NOT… travelin’ in triple digit temps with WHOLE McCrankyPants Family!!

That and I need to take care of the cats, pool, and the house.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

And I’ve been told the WHOLE BUNCH WILL BE HERE!!! AT!!!! MY!!! HOUSE!!!!

ACK!!!!

They haven’t been here in 6 years!!!!

I have to say that since we ripped all the carpet out and moved most of the stuff upstairs all I have to get in order is the kitchen… Easy Peasy!

All booze is outta sight and most things are in order… It still won’t pass QueenVictoria’s white glove test but I can live with it!

Still no news about surgery… hopefully tomorrow I’ll know something.

Monday, August 01, 2011

I Made It Monday…

A new link up I was invited to join… Conni at clfphoto.blogspot.com for crafters. Any kind of craft you dream up… link up.

So here is my entry for I Made It Monday… sorta.

I started out with idea of makin’ a swim dress circa 1950 style… something to cover my big ass. I started with the top. Easy Peasy! I could make these in my sleep!

 

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I’ve made 3 of them…2 off the original pattern and then this one made for us busty gals!!

So off to tackle the bottom… not so good!

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Now this is bigger than the original pattern becuz that would have NEVER WORKED! It was way to small. And lookin’ at it now after I took the photo, it doesn’t look so bad.

See that diamond?

It’s called a gusset.

What the hell is a gusset??

A fancy way to say crotch!

I have no idea how to affix to the bottoms so I just sewed it the way I know and left the crotch out… crotchless. It’s mine. It should be crotchless!

But here’s the real problem with the bottoms…

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Yep. Those are my panties. That actually fit me. And cover my ass.

And once I have the bottoms on… it is an adult diaper with a load.

Sad.

So My Cute Little Top Will Be Worn With Cut-Off’s… Just call me Daisy Duke!

You want a top just ask. It ties at the neck and in the back. I have lined this top with white and made the tie from the same material which you may tie loosely for a more modest look. The hot pink gingham has a satiny sheen. But if you would like one, it can be made from any type of fabric.