Monday, February 28, 2011

Bad Weekend…

My mother had a seizure on Thursday. She fell and smashed her face on her porch. She laid there in the rain for 2 1/2 hours before a cousin found her. He called my sister.

She called me. “I’m only stayin’ long enough to get her help and then I’m gone.”

She and Mom are not on good terms. My sister treats Mom like she doesn’t exist. My mom lives in a house owned by my sister’s inlaws, which is just down the hill from them. And just around the corner from my sister. It was the perfect place for my mom, near family… when those two were speakin’.

When RubyJune got there and saw her mom all bloody and confused, she softened. I mean, she’s her mother! She was caught between wantin’ to help her and turnin’ her back on a woman that has rejected her children time and time again. We both have mother issues… we have the some mom.

Once, Mom was so mad at RubyJune that she told her Daddy wasn’t her father! Who does that??!! RubyJune was devastated!!!

Anyway, there was Mom all bloody and confused. RubyJune text me, “come!” And I went as fast I could.

RubyJune ended up stayin’ a whole lot longer than she intended to stay, takin’ care of her mother and makin’ sure the doctor had all the answers to the necessary questions… we both did. She left to go to a school play with the intention of comin’ back after school on Friday.

We did make some mistakes. To keep the drama to a minimum we didn’t tell everyone… my brother and my mom’s closest niece and her best friend. The so-called best friend is poison and the reason my sister and mother do not talk to each other. And my mom can’t see that her friend is a mean spiteful bully.

We should have told my brother.

But it wasn’t life or death, or I would have. Regardless of how much of an asshole he can be! She wasn’t dyin’!

But when you live in a small town it doesn’t take long for the word to spread… and the drama to start.

I walked away.

I left my mother in ICU.

It is killin’ me.

The seizures that she has are not being controlled by the drugs any longer. Her brain continues to seizure but without the convulsions normally associated with her seizures. It impairs her memory, her judgment, her thoughts process is slower, and she has headaches. The doctor kept her in ICU strictly for observation and to try her on a new drug that may control the blind seizures.

And I knew all this and I walked away.

Once upon a time, I stood my ground becuz of a lie that hurt Roy. It didn’t matter how much I fought to tell the truth. Nobody listened. But I fought. Roy has never let me down.

My mother has let me down. She has rejected me over and over. So I didn’t stand my ground. I let the poisonous person have her way so my mother wouldn’t be any more confused or stressed while going thru this latest episode.

My deepest darkest wish is that my mother would have aborted me in 1964 and 2 very good men wouldn’t have such fucked up lives.

I had all those feelin’ of hurt and rejection buried deep and then she says, “But I need her, she’s my friend.”

And it all comes back.

She doesn’t want me or my sister to help her. She misconstrues our help with us tryin’ to control her life. We are tryin’ to protect her from a bully.

My sister never made it back on Friday becuz of the drama that the poisonous person started. Threats were made and cops were called.

I told my brother where Mom was... he took over.

I walked out… one more time.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Tired And Takin’ A Break…

Lynn, You didn’t leave me with a way of emailin’ you or anything… so…

MizAngie is taking a break from blogging. I’m not sure why but I understand. I’ve pulled away from the world a time or two so I get it. Sometimes a gal just needs time to work shit out.

I will miss her while she’s gone. And I hope it’s only for a short time. She is a unique lady with a big heart, though she tends to be pessimistic… But that’s Angie.

I love her.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I’m A Mess…

If you want something done right, do it yourself. That’s basically Roy’s philosophy on life. Nobody can do anything as well as he can. Period.

And then I came along. I didn’t really need for Roy to do everything… he just does it.

Not that I can do everything but becuz EarlLee was such a lazy-ass bastard I did a lot of things a woman should do. I could work on my own car for Pete’s Sake! More than just puttin’ gas in the tank and air in the tires but actually work on the carburetor and knew how to start a my ‘59 Olds with screwdriver by crossin’ the starter and the cylinoid thingy.

I have looked and looked to find a photo of the ‘59 Olds that we referred to as The Beast. That car was a tank! I Loved It!!

I love Google!!!507245_2551158434854937321_460906d4f9See that fin? EarlLee finned my brother with it and he had to have 2 stitches!

Oldsmobile_Dynamic_88_270PS_1959_2Mine was never in this shape. It had some body damage, so there was bondo and an old man side swiped me. How could he not see me?? I was the biggest car on the road!!!

Anyway, where were we going with this… Oh yeah, Roy…

Well Roy has to do everything himself. Mow, Feed the animals, Till, Clean the Pool… EVERYTHING! Which makes it seem like I can’t do anything. That I just lay around growin’ all fat and sassy… okay so there may be some truth to that but still.

So when he went to work, the duty of keepin’ the house from freezin’ and breakin’ the water pipes and all fell to me.

I was not thrilled. I have to handle that dirty wood and I may break my nails and I might burn myself. So Roy bought me a set of weldin’ gloves. They are extra thick and can take the heat… but they are huge on my hands. A pain in the ass so I didn’t wear them.

I was burnt twice. And when I showed Roy my injuries, he said, “I bought you the gloves to prevent that! Why didn’t you put them on?”

Next time it was time to put in wood, I put them on. They go about 4 inches above my wrist, so no more burns on my fingers and hands!

One evenin’ at supper, I showed Roy my new burn. Right above the edge of the gloves!

He just shook his head. “What am I gonna do with you? I know they make longer gloves. I just couldn’t find them.”

If there’s a will, there’s a way… I will do it.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Letter 21…

Someone you judged by their first impression…

Dear Jesse,

We hit it off right from the start. Despite StupidAssEddie thinkin’ we would hate each other. He’s an idiot.

I am very glad I have you in my life.

Stop smokin’!!

Love you,

Nadine.

Friday, February 18, 2011

My Current Obsession…

One of them.

I love vampire shows!!!

As a kid, I hated to even think about vampires!! So freakin’ scary!! I used to sleep with blankets up to my mouth so the vampires couldn’t find my neck.

I have grown outta that fear. Go Ahead Eric Bite Me!!

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All time favorite is True Blood. Sexy, humorous, and creepy all at the same time. The Sookie Stackhouse novels are the best read. I’m so ready for another installment!!

I loved the Twilight books but do not care for the movies. I’m not sure why, I just don’t.

I found a new vampire show on SyFy channel called Being Human… good but really too moody for me. And then I found Being Human on BBCAmerica… I am In Love!! It is so much better. It’s cheeky in the British way that I like.

Plus the Vampire is so freakin’ hot!!

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Just spread him on a cracker!! Yum!

Love Love Love Being Human on BBCAmerica!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bad Mix…

Hormones and dreams!!

I would love to spin a wicked tale of sex and fantasy and then tell you “And then I woke up.” Like I’ve been known to do… But the dreams and nightmares are just too much!

I was tellin’ Roy about them, “Honey, You were fired from your job becuz of our sex tapes. You were so bummed by it. You were sittin’ on the couch with your pistol to your head! I woke up when you pulled the trigger!”

He just shook his head. “That’s bad.”

Our sex tapes have been buggin’ him and he’s gonna burn them. He doesn’t want anyone to break in and steal them. “You don’t want your nekked ass on the internet.”

No, I Don’t!

I continued tellin’ about the other odd dreams, “And I had a dream that RubyJune was mad at me over all this crap over Mom. As I was leavin’ her house, I saw tornadoes droppin’ from the sky. I turned around to make sure everyone was safe and sound in the cellar. I handed one nephew to my niece and the other nephew to my sister as they ran for the cellar. Just as they get to it, I’m hit with debris and am killed! And I wake up!”

“Yep, that’s odd.”

“And I have dreams of cruises and roman orgies!’

“Well, now that’s not so bad. That might even be fun!”

Men!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

So Freakin’ Excited!!!

I have put my money down on a cruise!!!

Wooo Hooo!!!

Dance the Happy Dance!! I’m headed to the Bahamas!!

I’m down 4 more pounds!!! Which is 7 total!!!! 3 more and I get that free tshirt!!

After I got over the Shingles, my PA put me on a new NervePill. One of the side effects is substantial weight loss. Well break my heart over that one!

My inner skinny bitch is feelin’ pretty damn good right now!! My outer fat girl has had her in a headlock for so long.

My goal is to lose the 25lbs I gained on the other nerve pill… when I should actually lose 35. I’m not greedy. I take the 25 and be pleased.

The Shingles left a small scar on my hip just under my panty line so it will never be seen… well. I only skinny dip with Roy so, no biggy.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print.

ATT000971111

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Letter 20…

The one that broke your heart the hardest… Are You Freakin’ Kiddin’ Me???

That’s EarlLee and I’m not givin’ him the satisfaction of knowin’ how much he hurt me!!

Well maybe.

EarlLee,

Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On!

Nadine

 

Which is funny, becuz that’s how I met him… on a horse!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

As this entire blog is dedicated to the love of my life, there is no real need for me to bore with a declaration of that love… again. I think you pretty well get the drift.

 

So… le sigh. It never hurts to look.

 

bath toy-im

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Snow, Snow, And More Snow…

O!M!G! Have we had snow!!!

Records have been set… snowfall amounts and deep freeze temperatures!

I’m not used it. AT. ALL.

As a child, I would go to bed and wake up to snow on the ground… a few inches and school was called off. Enjoy it for the day becuz it was gone the next.

Not this time. The first snowfall we got 16 inches or so… and still had about 9 inches of it on the ground when the second snow storm rolled thru dumping a foot on me!

I’m glad I do not work and I didn’t have to get out in it.

And havin’ the reputation that I have, Roy grounded me to the house.

“Do not go outside! You will fall and get hurt and freeze to death before I can get home!”

Damn it!

“Or you will lock yourself out again! And freeze to death before I can get home!”

Shit!

He knows me all too well.

Many years ago back when he was still patrol the highways and byways of this fine state, I was left home alone. The girls were gone to their dad’s house for the summer. I wanted to make some homemade salsa. I’ll just go out back to the garden and pick some tomatoes… no problem. I didn’t even bother to change out of my nightwear… an oversized tank top that showed off most of my boobs and skinny pants. I did think enough about the wet grass and dirt in the garden to put on my shoes!

I picked tomatoes and a few peppers, usin’ my shirt as my basket and walked back to the house. And wouldn’t you know it I had locked myself out!

Shit! Roy wouldn’t be home for 4 hours!! He was workin’ a special shift and just couldn’t come home on a whine.

I had no key to the house hidden anywhere. No cell phone. The truck was locked up with the mobile phone in it!!

Okay. I can do this. I’ll just hang out here until he comes home. I found a blanket and spread it out in the shade and laid down for a nap.

Right!

As I laid there, all I could think about was the ticks that was crawlin’ all over the ground! If I went to sleep I would wake up with Lyme’s disease!!

Surely, I had laid there an hour or so.

I could lounge around in the tree swing… no the cats bothered me.

Screw it! I’ll walk down to the neighbors house and call him. He’ll be mad but I can’t take it any longer!! I’m getting’ hot!! All that outdoorsy stuff is too much for me!!

I pulled my shirt around so that it covered me was much as possible and marched down the hill to the neighbors. 40 minutes later, Roy pulled up in the driveway. He didn’t say a word! I didn’t dare!! He unlocked the door and returned to his unit and roared off to complete his shift!

I looked at the clock… I had been locked out for about an hour and a half.

Later he made sure there was an extra key outside… as this was 12 years ago I have no idea where it is today!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Workin’ Out The Bugs…

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And I have my Woobie on the job!

Let me get my shit together and I’ll be right back.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Still Here...

My stupid IP says I have used too much bandwith... whatever that is... and I now have highspeed that is every bit as fast as dial-up!
Damn!
Soooo... I'm clearin' the decks!
No more farmin'.
No more homesteadin'.
No more games on Facebook.

There's a method to my madness!