Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hi Hooooo, Hi Hooooo, It’s Off To Work I Go…


You know better. I’m allergic to that sorta thing!!


So today you should link-up with Queso and CrazyMama… to answer questions about your work history.

1. what is the worst job you have ever had?

Being a mom. I’m just keepin’ real. Those bratty kids get all germy and sick and it just broke my heart to see them suffer. And they fall down and skin their knees or cut open an eyebrow or chin and bleed. I suffered a lot to create those little scampers and they bleed!!! I have miles and miles worth of stretch marks and what do they do??? They had THE Nerve… THE Audacity To Grow Up!!! Worst Job I ever Had!!

2. have you ever been fired?

No. I have never been fired. I usually left on good terms… Well. Maybe not when I worked at Braum’s. For those that are not lucky enough to live within a 120 miles of The Braum’s Diary and are not fortunate enough to have a Braum’s Ice Cream Store in your town… that’s what it is… An Ice Cream and Diary store. It’s good food! I worked for a bad manager and I wrote on my time card the last day I worked, “I Quit!” and walked out. I think I suffered thru it the whole ordeal for 90 days. So I gave it a good shot. I tried. But a person can only take so much bullshit.

3. what would your dream job be?

Travel the world, shoe shoppin’ with someone else’s money… Duh!

4. what did you want to be when you "grew up"?

Seein’s how I’m not all that grown up there is hope that I’ll make one of my dreams come true…

I wanted to be a Marine. I wanted to jump outta planes and hit the dirt runnin’ with a M16. But mostly, to marry real big gunho Marine and make babies.

I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleader. I wanted to run out on the field in Texas Stadium and do leg kicks and shake my pompoms… and ass! I wanted to wear that outfit and those white boots!! But mostly I wanted to marry a real big Tight End and make babies.

I married a Marine and we keep tryin’ to make babies but he said something about a Vase-Rect-Omy… Whatever that is… so we keep practicin’!

And the only why, I’m gonna wear that outfit, is buy the Trashy Halloween costume!!!

5. how old were you when you got your first job?

I was 16 and I was a dishwasher in a restaurant… I hated that job too.  It interfered with my school work.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Smatterin’ Of Crap…


And it’s Talk to Us Tuesday with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn.

Link Up with the gals. They are great ladies and will welcome you with open arms. And a whole bunch of other really great gals will come around to visit with you too.

I really don’t have a lot of anything but a jumble of thoughts… a smatterin’ of crap!

1) I don’t care for the NFL. The Power’s that control the game have taken all the fun out of it. Let them celebrate in the end zone!

2) I’m sick of hearin’ about Tebow’d. ACK! I can’t believe I typed his name in my blog!!! It’s a game… it’s football. It’s not that hard. You throw the ball. You catch the ball. You run with the ball. This System or That System shouldn’t make a bit of difference, It’s Fuckin’ Football!!!

3) Did I mention I don’t like the NFL? I was forced to watch the Broncos and Chargers… which means I had to listen to the announcers say “TEBOW” every 5 seconds. He’s not God Gift to Football. GET OVER HIM!!

4) I went shoppin’ on Black Friday! Yes, Me! For those that know me, know I don’t do “Black Friday”. It’s amateur day! Sure you may save some money but it will be on sale later in the day and you don’t need to spend the night at Best Buy.

5) Speakin’ of Best Buy… Loretta called me at 8pm on Thursday to tell me that she was in line for a PC! A woman that isn’t allowed to shop with me in the daylight is in line in the dark for a cheap PC. I’m not sure if I’m pissed off or hurt again. She was there until 2am!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!? She can’t go anywhere with me but can go stand in line with strangers until 2am.

6) Yes. I was shoppin’ on Black Friday with my sister and niece. RubyJune drove up and we spent the day lunchin’ and shoppin’ and havin’ a good time… fuck you, Loretta!!

7) I know that my sister and I are from the same gene pool despite what our mother says, but whoa! Are we different!! She’s not showy like me. And doesn’t buy stuff just becuz it’s a good deal and you could use it in the future… like cute shoes!! You can never have too many cute shoes!! “I don’t have anything to wear them with.” WHAT THE FUCK???  You build an outfit around cute shoes!!! I’ve built outfits around cute purses!!!


Can you imagine the dress that would go with these shoes??? 181129216232898506_y9qAkKwL_bOMG!!!








I know! Wild!! And  I would wear them proudly!!

8) That’s all I’ve got. All the crap I in my head.

I have some errands to run this am but I will make to your blog… I promise.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

HumpDay Q And A…


We Would Like To Know…Time to Link Up with Mamarazzi, Queso, And Crazymama.

Have you missed me? I’ve read some the previous questions only to not feel up to it. I would have loved to participated in the shoppin’ quizzy… That is up my alley!! But I just felt like crap.

And I don’t just link up and leave, I invest my day to visitin’ all the linkers… Call me Crazy but That’s why I link up. To meet new friends!! I want readers. That’s the answer from way back… the last WWTK I did 4wks ago.

Now on with the show… Questions from Queso. I think she must be one of my missin’ sisters becuz all the Q&A’s she asks are so close to my heart!


{1} Do you have any musical talents? ABSOLUTELY NONE! I can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid! I did teach myself to play 3 songs on the piano. My grandparents have an old upright that is sooooo old and way outta tune. My Daddy took lessons as a child. He could play it and the saxophone… and he was actually in a band in high school but that where that talented ended. My brother, the dumbass sold Daddy’s Sax for drug money. And my mother didn’t go buy it back or tell anyone becuz someone would gone and bought it back but NO! It’s gone forever. Anyway, I can play old MacDonald, Brother John, and Reveille… see, not bound for America’s Got Talent!

{2} What role, if any, does music play in your life? No real impact but I have always had a record player or cassette player… for that matter, I’m old enough to have had an 8track player! I have listened to just about every genre of music and the only one I can’t quite wrap my head around is Jazz. It’s just too… for lack of a better word… scatterbrained. I am not fond of country or rap. I have my daughters convinced that if I listen to country music it will make me puke.

{3} What is your all time favorite song? Slow Ride by Foghat! My Daddy was shocked when I told him that it was my favorite song… I was 14.

{4} Do you sing in the shower? No. The Cats Hate It When I Sing In There. One of them is very critical of my singin’ and yowls at me when I do sing… LOUDLY YOWLS AT ME!! As if to say, “Shut the fuck up!”

{5} Has a song ever made you cry? Yes! It depends on what mood I’m in when I hear it but certain songs remind of certain people and I cry. “Like a Rock” by Bob Segar reminds of Roy and I cry. That will be playin’ at his funeral.

I burst into tears over “Johnny and June” by Heidi Newfield… AT THE GYM!! Big sobbing tears… becuz I have that kinda love. “When your gone, I wanna go too… like Johnny and June.”

SHIT!!! I’m cryin’ right now!

And then there is that song that Johnny Cash covered by Nine Inch Nails… Can’t think of the name… Wait right here a moment while I google. HURT… That’s it! It just so movin’ and hauntin’ that I was stirred to tears the first time I heard it!

 The video is what does it. It gets me every time.

sssshhh… Don’t tell the girls I listened to country and didn’t puke!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Roy Can Be A Straight Up JackAss!!!


3 times that Roy was a JackAss durin’ the last 2 weeks of my surgery and recovery… Oh don’t get me wrong there’s lots of time but these I’m about to tell you are the TOP3!

1) Just before surgery, the surgeon stopped in, to meet Roy, to reassure us that all will go fine, and that I should be out of surgery in about 6 hours. At the same time, the OR Nurse came in to take me to surgery. WOO HOO!!! At 7:45!!!

As I am walkin’ out of the room to get on the surgery gurney, I heard Roy tell the surgeon that I was his best wife and “I sure don’t want to lose her, I have her trained just right. I’d hate to have to start over.”

Yes He Did!! He said that!


If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with how I was gonna get on that gurney without showin’ my ass to the people in the hallway, I'da come round on him right there! This and he told the…  and I can’t spell it. but that guy that gives you gas in the or… I tried I really tried but even spellcheck couldn’t figure it out…

Anyway… He told that guy I was an alcoholic! They all ask if you drink, If you say yes, they think you are an alcoholic, and try to sign you up a program or some shit, I always say no or occasionally. Roy went to snickerin’ and snortin’ and said, “you drink like a fish!”


2) Since he had his ankle crushed and had a plate and 9 screws in it back in 2003, he’s been waitin’ for the day that HE CAN DRIVE ME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!! “I’m gonna hit every bump and pothole. I’m gonna jump the train tracks and I’m gonna tear up the driveway!! Just so you squeal like a girl in pain!”


I didn’t jump the train tracks. It’s not possible at 15 miles an hour. It’s more likely 80 or so… I’m takin’ the 5th on that bit of know how.

I didn’t hit every pothole or bump. I can’t help it if the road is bad!

I didn’t tear up the driveway either… it’s just something I wouldn’t do. That’s what the rest of the highways and byways are for. Not the last 70 of driveway!

But oh did he squeal!!

When I was released I had 1 3/4 bottles of morphine under my belt with a 2 lortab chaser… I was feelin’ no pain!

So I fake squealed at all the appropriate moments, just to make him feel better.


3) And my favorite…

So he comes to me and says, “what are you fixta do?”

“Go to bed. You?”

He twirls the tweezers at me, “I need to do a little work on Elvis.” Manscapin’

So as I drifted off to sleep I was thinkin’ about how hairy Elvis was last time I saw him.


Like you don’t have a name for your hub’s penis!

Elvis and the Backup Band play at the Pink Palace as often as possible. After Elvis sings Viva Las Vegas, He leaves the building! It has been said many a times, “Elvis has Left the Building!”

Next mornin’, I calmly sat down by him on the couch, and said, “the last time Elvis and I had a face to face chat, he was a bit hairy then and that was over a week ago. The Pink Palace is shut down for remodelin’ so why does Elvis need some manscapin’ now??”

He went all beet red. “It’s been needin’ to be done for awhile now. I just don’t want it to get all outta control.”

Yeah, Right… JackAss!!


Link Up with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Time To Get Back In The Saddle…

Thank you so much for all the support and well wishes from all my peeps and lurkers.

I have been gettin' a bit better each day… my head isn’t spinnin’ today.

Pinerest has been helpful in my recovery… it’s a total daydream to look thru the women’s apparel for shoes and purses or get ideas for my garden and crafty stuff… a way to cut glass!!

I can make fun stuff with all the wine and booze bottles!!

With adult supervision.

You can follow me on Pinerest by following this link… Click Here!

Roy has been fabulous! When I was married to that first man, it was awful! EarlLee was NO HELP! when I was ill. I went to work with pneumonia! He wouldn’t work so I did.

Roy is perfect. He’s in charge of my meds, cookin’, laundry, and the cats… It’s a lot to do but he’s done it. He can’t hardly wait to go back to work!

Once he was outside doin’ whatever it is that Roy does out there, when he comes runnin’ in the house. “Are you all right??”

I just looked him like he was nuts! I was in my recliner with my remote and phone and diet drink and my laptop surrounded by cats… I’m set up great! Unless I tipped over becuz of all the Earthquakes or something, I was fine.

And he said, “I heard someone callin’ out ‘Honey!’ and just knew you were in trouble!”

He’s so cute.

He left me alone yesterday, and was gone only 30 minutes when the flag dropped on CatNASCAR! Scooter went up, over and behind me with Monster on his tail on the table beside me. I turned to tell Monster to Git… he Got! and took off spillin’ my pop all over the couch!! AND NEW CARPET!!!!!!

I had to move quickly… which I couldn’t!

I needed to move heavy furniture to clean the pop… which I couldn’t!

I broke a fingernail throwin’ pillows at Monster… which just pissed me off even more!!

So before I cut glass, I have to have adult supervision.

But he does have his moments being the biggest ass on the face of the Earth! I have a top 3 list of moments for the last 2 weeks.


I found this on Pinerest… Cracks Me Up!!

Makes me think of me and Roy.

Roy’s the snail.


If I’ve heard that once, I’ve heard it a thousand times!!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Home And Recovery…

Surgery went well… thank you God for modern drugs. We’ll talk about that later.

The first few days, I’ve felt pretty good. But today… total relapse!! And those Modern Drugs are fuckin’ with me… and not in a good way!! We’ll talk about that later.

I just wanted to update my peeps.

I’ll be back around when my head doesn’t want to spin off.

Much Love and Hugs to All.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Pre-Op Procedures…

I’ve got things in order around the house for Roy… easy manfood. You know canned soup, microwavable dinners, sandwiches, and of course, Ramen noodles. All things Roy can handle.

For the cats, they have been in training for bedtime. We have 4 of them trained to “go to bed” and they walk out to the laundry room for the night and Roy closes “their” door. It’s cute really. I just say, “Manny! It’s time to put your jammies on!” and he goes to the laundry room. The other 2 sleep with us. I’m sure Roy will ban those 2 to the laundry room while I’m recuperating.

I think I’ve got everything ready to go… now it’s time to prep me. The doctor gave me instructions to “to do before surgery… And I tell Roy.

“ Gross!!! I have to give myself an enema!”

“You’ll be doing that alone.”

“You’ve never… wait a minute! Back the truck up!! You are after me all the time about anal sex and now that you have a chance to shove something in my ass, you don’t want any part of it? That is just not right!!”

“Sorry but I’m not doing that!”

“That’s just not right!”


Oh Shit! I forgot to buy laundry soap!!

Shit! Shit! Shit! He’ll buy Tide!!!!


Link Up with The Ladies of Talk To Us Tuesday!!

 Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn