Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Talk To Us Tuesday…

This is a repost of a blog entry I did when I worked. Many of you do not know what I did for 12 years.  So I thought this was a very good way to let you know.

HiRes

Link Up with Shawn or Impulsive Addict. This is a great link-up that the followers and other players actually visit you. I don’t understand link-ups that the people do not visit all the peeps that link-up… what the fuck? Why link-up?

Anyway…

I was a vet assistant.

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Once upon a time in a land not so far away, lived a man that thought he would never ever own a cat. But one day while camping a lump of fur in the shape of cat mosey'd into his campsite. Having such a warm heart to all creatures, he took pity upon the lump of fur shaped like a cat and took it to his favorite and very wise veterinarian... the one with the very beautiful vet assistant!

The KindHeartedMan dropped off the Lump O'Fur with the Beautiful VetAssistant and said. "Do what needs to be done."

She smiled ever so sweetly, "Sure thing!"

The WiseVet takes the Lump O'Fur out of the carrier and exclaimed in highly technical veterinary terms, "Holy Smokes! This cat is full of fleas!"

So with that diagnosis the WiseVet proceeds to pill the Lump O'Fur with a product that kills fleas. He takes ahold of the Lump O'Fur by the head and cocks its head back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and quickly shuts the mouth... but not before the Lump O'Fur spit the pill out.

The WiseVet turns to his Beautiful VetAssistant and says,"Grab on!"

Gripping the scruff of the Lump O'Fur with her left hand and steadyin' herself with her right, the Beautiful VetAssistant was ready. The WiseVet grabbed the head of the Lump O'Fur and cocked its head back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat but before he could close the mouth, the Lump O'Fur thought he would like to close his own mouth. He did so, biting the slow but WiseVet on an open wound on his finger. He quickly releases the Lump O'Fur and clamps down the wound to put pressure on it to keep from losing any blood... Which brought on a cussin' fit like the Beautiful Vet Assistant is prone to do... It is called a Blue Streak!

And the pill was spit out on the table.

Rethinking the whole procedure, the WiseVet asked the Beautiful VetAssistant to hold the fronts legs also. So she grabs onto the scruff of the Lump O'Fur with her left hand and grips the legs with her right hand. The WiseVet grabs the head and cocks it back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and quickly closes the mouth.

The Lump O'Fur has had enough and contorts itself around until its back feet are on the arm of the Beautiful VetAssistant revealing its switchblades! The Lump O'Fur slashes the wrists of the Beautiful VetAssistant which brought a cussin' fit like she is prone to do. She quickly releases the Lump O'Fur and clamps down on her wrist to put pressure on the wound and not lose any blood.

And the pill was spit out on the table.

The WiseVet thought it was time to bring out the highly useful and very expensive piece of veterinary equipment to subdue the Lump O'Fur. "Go get a towel!"

So now the Beautiful VetAssistant has the Lump O'Fur wrapped in a towel and WiseVet grabs its head and cocks it back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and using a syringe, he pushes the pill down and quickly closes the mouth.

We all breath a big sigh of relief as the pill was not spit out.

The KindHeartedMan came in later to check on the new addition to his family and consult with the WiseVet. He asked the Beautiful VetAssistant, "How's my Cat?"

She smiles ever so sweetly, hiding her wounds, at the KindHeartedMan that never thought he would ever own a cat, "He is doing just fine. We will draw blood from him later."

And all is right with the world.

Just to let you know..........The Lump O'Fur turned out to be a beautiful and very loving Persian that someone had turned out. He was not harmed in anyway. He sat calmly on the table lickin' the blood off his claws. I am sure he was thinkin' of his next move while we went running for Band-Aids!

16 comments:

becca said...

what a great story

Heather said...

That kitty just didn't want that pill, lol! I would love a job working with animals.

Connie said...

Poor Kitty....and beautiful assistant!

Chantel said...

Hah! My sister is a vet tech and man, the stories she tells are not NEARLY as entertaining as this one! :)

Sarah Kate said...

Oh my, I'm not sure I would be cut out to handle this job!!! I love how you told the story! :o)

Jill said...

haha - great story! I had no idea you once worked as a vet assistant!

VandyJ said...

Dogs take their medicine much better than cats do. I just had to take my cat in to the vet yesterday. They gave her a shot of antibiotics rather than make us give her pills. Smart vet.

Amanda said...

I wouldn't want a pill thrown down my throat either. Flees or no flees :) Great story.

Shawn said...

Dogs are so much easier and thanks to your story you just helped prove that.

I.Rest.My.Case!

Thanks for linking up!

Jenn said...

Ohhhhhh I'm one of those that links-up but doesn't visit everyone that links-up....only because I have to rely on my work computer!! I'm too poor to replace the lap top that died a few months back! EEEEESSSHHHKKKK, should I stop linking????

Impulsive Addict said...

See? This is why I don't have a cat. I seriously think they are smarter than me and I don't like that. But I'm so glad that the beautiful assistant wasn't badly injured. That would have been a tragedy.

You're awesome for linking up with us! (And I agree with hosts needing to visit and I love when the linker-ups do too!)
xoxo

sarajo said...

That is too funny! And I have seen so many cats do that! At least there wasn't water involved. You might have lost an arm. lol!

Boobies said...

I'm not sure why--but I'm instantly connecting you to the assistant at my vet now!

Great story!

Steph said...

I wrap my pups pills in lunch meat. They fall for it every time.

Or if we are out, I'll just act like I'm getting it out of the snack jar and tell them it's a snack.

Myya said...

What a fun story. Cats are crazy! LOL

~Mistee~ said...

hahahaha!! Cats are the worst at the vet!! I work as a receptionist part time in a vet clinic and I stay FAR AWAY FROM THE CATS!!!