Thursday, September 01, 2011

No Cat Comes Between Me And My Carpet!!!

I was so tired and sore when I went to bed the day we got the carpet, I just knew I would sleep until noon.
At 5:30am, I rolled outta bed and slowly walked the carpet to the bathroom. I was still pretty groggy and I sure wanted to go back to bed.
And then it happened!
I stepped in something wet!!!!!!
I was wide awake and hoppin’ to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean up what ever it was… cat pee or vomit or hairball!!!
I had no idea!! I could see cats wipin’ their paws on the carpet as if to cover something and when I flipped on the light, there was cat shit on my new carpet!!!!!!!
Damn the wet spot!!!!!
I quickly cleaned that up and went to lookin’ for the wet spot. I retraced my steps, back and forth and couldn’t find it!!
So I laid down spread eagle and waved my arms back and forth and pushed with my feet across the floor… I musta looked like I was swimmin’… and a lunatic!!
But I found the wet spot!! It was about the size of a quarter. And as I’m cleanin’ that up and cussin’ the cats… I look up to see Scooter with his butt to the wall. He was shakin’ his tail like they do when they are markin’ their territory… and he was peein’ on the wall.
That was It!! I totally lost it!!
I went to scoopin’ up cats in pairs and puttin’ them out in the laundry room! Manny and I had a knock down drag out, He didn’t want to go!! But I won!! 5 was put out. George stayed out with me. He has manners. He is the good cat!!
Roy didn’t roll outta bed until 10am. He asked, “what are you doin’ up?”
“Guardin’ my carpet!!!” and told him the whole story about Scooter. Scooter got blame for everything. His the one that always does it!! He’s a rude little bastard!!
I passed an Executive Order: All cat will sleep out in the laundry room at night but George. He sleeps with me and Roy. He has manners!

4 comments:

Jeankfl said...

LOL!! I'm not sure any of them would have survived with me.. Stupid animals. They HAVE to mark new things. I think the laundry room is totally reasonable.LOL

Anonymous said...

reminds me of the timeI woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, then stepped on something soft and squishy in the dark. I flipped on the light to find that my cat had left a decapitated RAT on my floor.

I still shudder when I remember that.

Teresa in St Louis

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, I should add that the cat caught the rat, then brought it inside through the pet door. He didn't catch it IN the house.

Teresa in St. Louis

Impulsive Addict said...

That would have been ONE DEAD CAT. Or at least a well-beaten cat. The HORROR!