Friday, July 08, 2011

Boobs, Boys, And Bathrooms…

Last week, Roy said, “I need to go to HellMart to get dog food. Do you wanna come along?”

Sure. Why not? I was reasonably dressed with Capri pants and a halter top… not too tacky or trashy. My belly wasn’t hangin’ out so you know I was chic for HellMart in Oklahoma.

When I got in the truck, Roy said, “Do not ask me why people are starin’ at you?”


I was fine. Sure I kept makin’ boob adjustments but Hey! The Left one is bigger and so I had adjust it every so often. And people do stare! At me enough to make me wonder if I have a booger hangin’ out or a nipple or something?

Once at Red Lobster, a man across the room wouldn’t stop starin’ at me. Roy can’t hear nothing in a restaurant so I text him, “are my nipples hangin’ out?” and he text back, “yes!”

Good thing I had my nipple covers on!! Jackass!! Roy was pullin’ my leg!


See! This Gal’s Got Boobs!

So by the time we got to HellMart, I needed to pee… you know my bladder problems and all… Roy stayed with the cart and my purse and I took off to the bathroom. As I rounded the corner, I put my hand in my top and pulled the left one up just a bit and looked up just as I took my hand outta my top to see two teenaged boys standin’ in the women’s room!!!

“Hello!” One said Totally Shocked!!

“Hello, Aaaah! This is the women’s bathroom!” I said.

And then I began to doubt my own choice, sanity, and readin’ ability… and walked out to double check to see if I was in the right place! That has happened to me… several times.

After confirmin’ that I was indeed correct… this time… went back in to make them leave! “Yes! This is the women’s room and you need leave right now!”

They were gigglin’ at their “mistake” but didn’t give me any crap and just left.

I went on with my own business. I watch two other sets of shoes come back in… both women’s! I have the worst luck with teens and really wasn’t up to being trapped in a stall with my panties down while they fucked with me!!

When I walked out, Roy was standin’ there and I said, “did you see me throw those boys out of the restroom?”

“Yes, I did. And did you see the woman they were with go in after they came out?”

Now did those two shits go tell their momma I was nasty to them for THEM being in the wrong place??

Wouldn’t that be about like me have a knock-down drag-out in the women’s room at HellMart??

Roy thought so!! He was there outside the doorway waitin’ to come in and back me up!

I Love Him.


Jill said...

Someone should write a book about WalMart bathroom incidents. My mom left a pair of mittens in one once, went back for them a few minutes alter, and they were gone. She was sure the lady who was in there washing her hands when we left stole them, and spent our entire shopping trip looking for her in the aisles. I was so glad we never found her. I woulda died of embarassment if she confronted her!!!

Jeankfl said...

LOL Only you would get in a fight in Hellmart's bathroom!! OF COURSE PEOPLE STARE AT YOU!!! You're tiny, cute, and have big boobs!! What's not to stare at???lol Sounds like Roy is sooooo much help, sometimes. Just like a man!

~Mistee~ said...

HAHA!! You are so funny! At least she didn't come in looking for a fight while you had your pants around your legs. :-) That would have been awkward..

Tracie said...

I woulda made Roy kick them out of the bathroom! What if they had come back when your panties where down?!

M&Co. said...

Just another reason I do not shop at the Wal-Marts.