Wednesday, June 15, 2011

HumpDay Q & A…

Yes it’s We Want To Know Day!!!
Brought in part by Impulsive Addict, Janette, Mamarazzi, and Seriously Shawn… Each are very lovely ladies with a good sense of humor.
They must or I wouldn’t have stuck around this long… Give Impulsive Addict some love, she ill with Strep. Though Strep was one of the best diets I was ever on… it’s just horrible to be sick in the summer!
On to the Q&A…
1} You have been asked to give a 10 minute speech to teenage girls. What is it about?
 Stop Being Stupid.
O!M!G! It’s Like, Oh I don’t know, Teenage Girls are Like So Dumb! Like you know, They obsess over Stupid Things Like boys! WE all know that Boys are just Dumber than like you know, Teenage Girls!! OMG! Like This One Time When Roy and I were at the Bowlin’ Alley, This group of Teenage Girls were “bowling” and their like “boy” friend came in to join them and the boy decided he needed to like grab one the girl’s phone and there right in front of me, while Roy was bowling, they had a wrasslin’ match over the phone, one girl was hit in the face and went running to the bathroom, I guess to check her nose for blood, But anyway the wrasslin’ match moved closer and closer to me and I was like all weirded out and thought I was gonna like get in the big middle of it. I am so outta practice of fightin’ with Teenage Girls… I mean I was fuh-reeaked!
Wait. Where was I?
Stop Being Stupid.
It is bad. B-A-D! Bad!
Does that Valley Girl thing show my age or what?
{2} A question brought to us by McKenzie: Do you have a pet? Tell us about them. No pets? Why?
Oh do I have pets! Let me tell you. I have 9 cats, 3 outdoors and 6 in the house. 2 dogs, Ralph and TrixieTheWonderDog. Ruffles the Alligator Snappin’ Turtle, and some fish… some for Ruffles and some that are in the spring flooded cellar outside that have been in there for 15 years. All stories about my critters are in the section The Animal House.
{3} A question brought to us by DateGirl: What is the biggest inconvenience about the place you’re currently living?
It’s an old farmhouse… I’m talkin’ old. Over 100 years old… and it was remodeled in 1964 by one of the Indian Chief’s and was in that current condition when we moved in here in 1995. And it had 4switches in the fuse box.
Think about that for a moment. 4 fuses. And a modern family with hair dryers and microwaves moves in… the house had to be rewired.
And the carpet, like I said before, is so old, it rips when it’s vacuumed! I’m gettin’ new carpet!! Woo Hoo!!!!
{4} What do you think is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
Divorcin’ that lazyass bastard EarlLee and Marryin’ Roy!
{5} What are the THREE "nevers" of your life? (things you would never do or have never done)
             a: Use Tide. Roy and I… had… well… uahm… hhmm… an affair… with each other… and well Roy would come to our super secret love nest smellin’ all Tide-ish becuz that’s what HIS WIFE USED!!! So no I do not and I refuse to use Tide. Never. Ever. I am not gonna be triggerin’ memories of his first wife!! Oh Hell No!!
Roy will probably go buy it when I’m recuperatin’ from surgery just to mess with me.
             b: I will never ever trust the Justice system or DistrictAttorney’s or Sheriff’s Office of this county. Long Story. Just becuz someone is in a position of authority does not mean they are there to serve you in a just and fair manner. Justice in not only blind but deaf and ignorant… Trust me! Nuff Said!!
             c: I will never ever have anal sex ever… again. PERIOD! Those people that like it are nuts!! Nuff said!
And there you have it!
Link Up with the Ladies. You will not regret it!
And for all those curiously inquirin’ minds… I swallow! It’s High in Protein!!
So I’ve been told!!


Tracie said...

You forgot Totally, dude and gag me with a spoon, LOL

allstarme said...

And you're the second person to talk about anal sex today. WEIRD!

Stacy said...

That is hilarious about the Tide...I had a hard time coming up with my 3 never's!

Brittney said...

Hahaha your rundown of the teen girls made me laugh.
I wouldn't use Tide either if my hubs ex used it haha

Amber said...

That's a pretty legit reason to not use Tide, haha

Amber said...

That's a pretty legit reason to not use Tide, haha

VandyJ said...

I won't use tide--but then I'm allergic to it.
Teenage girls are scary--so glad I got boys.

Johanson Family said...

Its crazy how a smell will trigger a memory (good or bad).. now when I smell my tide detergent, i'll think of you. So glad you are happy with Mr. Roy and have promised us all not to do it up the hiney again.

Amy said...

What? No anal??? KIDDING! I was going to put something like this but didn't want my church people to get all willy nilly.

Woo hoo for the new carpet.-- it's the little things, right?? ;)

Amanda said...

I totally get that 5b) right now.

Shawn said...

They do specialized in drama that's for sure!

Fish for Ruffles? Food or companionship?

Never ever...again. Too funny!

Rachel said...

I can understand about the electricity issues my entire apartment is on one circuit breaker. Four rooms one breaker. It is miserable! The rest of your post had me laughing! I enjoyed the read!

Laurieanndutton said...

Thank you for making me crack up today. I needed a good laugh!

Sandra said...

Oh eemm geee, like you're so fuuuun-ny!...ok, I can't pull off the Valley Girl stuff, although, yes, it definitely was during my time.
Such a hilarious post! I love that you admit to an affair. I love that you admit the guy's wife used Tide. I love that you will never try anal...again.
I can say that I would have anal sex if it meant my husband would buy me a plane ticket to BlogHer '11. He won't so my ass is safe.

Impulsive Addict said...

You are too funny!!

An affair? No way. I don't believe you.

So you and Shawn refuse anal sex. It's exit only. I totally get it!! I'm with ya.

Connie Weiss said...

HA! Don't use TIDE! I wish I knew what kind of perfume my husband's ex-girlfriend whore. I meant to say WORE. I just always think of the word WHORE when I think about her.

becca said...

omg loved the first answer...too funny about the Tide and what's with all this talk about anal sex you're the second person to mention it.

Everyday Life

Holly Ann said...

Lol on part c of the last question! I enjoyed reading your answers!

Bridget said...

The house we moved out of had wiring problems. So glad to be here (even with the stairs)

Your "nevers" were hysterical!

Thanks again for stopping by my blog today!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm a little confused on your anti-Tide tirade.

So from what I can glean off this post, we can put you down as a "definite maybe" for anal?

Stacie said...

I laughed so hard at the valley talk! We were so dumb back then, kids now still have stuff like that that makes me shake my head.

Jenna said...

Oh love the valley girlish answer. That's greatness!

what's up with all you ladies and the anal sex answer?!?! Perverts :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. :)

Melissa said...

Thanks for coming by my page yesterday.

The Tide thing is funny lol. I'd be the same way though

And swallowing is definitly a good thing... everyone can use more protein in their life :D

~Mistee~ said...

You crack me up!!!!

Memphis Steve said...

I did this things a day late, and only just now realized it, because I'm an idiot. AUGH!