Tuesday, June 07, 2011

The Curve, My X-Wing, And Crrrrrap…

So now you know the history of The Curve. Roy and I refer to it as Dead Man’s Curve. Not that anyone has died there… that we know of… But still. I guess, Roy figures I’ll crash there.
Last week, we had to take the truck to the shop for repairs, so I had to go along and pick him up. I not crazy about drivin’ Roy around. It’s like takin’ the drivin’ test over and over and over… HATE IT!! So this particular day, I was drivin’ very cautious.
And he said, “ What is wrong with you? You’re drivin’ like an old lady! That’s not normal!”
What The Hell!!!???
“Dude! You’re in the car!! You drive like an old man all the time!!”
“Well, I am old but you’re getting’ on my nerves!”
ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDIN’ ME???!!!
HIS NERVES???!!!
Fine! It’s balls to the wall now!
“You don’t have to drive 90mph! I didn’t say you could drive like a teenager!!”
I totally wasn’t!! I was drivin’ 65!! Yes it was in a 55 zone but that’s how I normally drive!!
90 my ass!!
So you see what I have to deal with… JackAss!!!
I am not givin’ up the captain’s seat! This is my X-Wing!
We were a mile from The Curve… Dead Man’s Curve!
And Roy says, “Don’t you dare take that curve at 50!”
I started laughin’ evil knowin’ it was the southbound way… the way he hasn’t mastered!!
“Don’t you do it! I will be very happy and comfortable if you take it at 40 or even the suggested 30!”
I just keepin’ laughin’! I am so doin’ it! He’ll just sit there and take!!
Or Maybe Squeal like a Girl!
Or Maybe Poop his Pants!!!
Oh Yeah! I’m so doin’ it!
And then he said, “I’ll turn the car off! I’ll reach over there and turn the key off! Don’t you do it!”
Well now that is a horse of different color. Just what exactly would happen if I’m runnin’ 50mph and he turns the car off???
I can’t be faced with a situation I don’t know the outcome… I just can’t wreck my car just to make him poop his pants.
So I crept around the Dead Man’s Curve.
And he said, “Now see. Isn’t that better. You didn’t really want me to crrrrap in your car.” … which sounded like the Merry Widow and her German accent. crrrrrap… roll those r’s!
I burst out laughin’, “That’s exactly what I wanted to do! Make you squeal like a girl again and crrrrap you pants!!

1 comment:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Nothing wrong with 10-over driving.