that I found humorous.
1) Talkin’ to the cat that was bumpin’ his elbow durin’ supper, “If You don’t quit, I’ll put you in with the Big Mean Cat Eatin’ Snapper!”
Like the cat understands that statement. I mean, I talk to the cats and they totally understand me. They like me best.
2) We were sittin’ at the Hospital, waitin’ for my turn for a mammogram, and he said, “Ruffles called! We need to go home right now! Scooter is havin’ a conniption!”
Ruffles is what we named the Turtle. A characteristic of Alligator Snapping Turtles is that they have ridges on their shell… so, Ruffles Has Ridges!!
Dude!! Chill!! Mammo’s time take!! Try havin’ your testicles squished sometime! Not something you want to be rushed and done all wrong and have to do it over and over and over!!
3) After our local bait shop ran outta minnows, we were drivin’ to town… 15 miles away… to buy fish from HellMart… at 28cents a piece, “I can’t believe I’m doin’ this for turtle!”
ME EITHER!!! That turtle eats at least 5 minnows a day! At least with my opossums I could feed them scrapes of veggies and fruit that I grew!
Way back before me, he had a snake. He would buy those cute little party mice for it to eat! So buck up Babe! And buy the turtle 28cent Rosy Reds.
I would have bought it the goldfish… a much more meatier fish.
And Honorable Mention:
“Here You put the fish in there! You don’t seem to freak him out. He Likes You Best!”
Yes He Does!!