Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Keepin’ It On The QT…

On the down low…

I’m bowlin’.

And I have my ups and downs.

Why keep it quiet?

Well. StupidAssEddie creeps my FaceBook Page!! And Roy doesn’t want Eddie to know we are bowlin’!

Men!

But I have gone from a 35 average to a 90!!! Woo Hoo for me!!!

You don’t understand. When we went bowlin’ with Eddie and Loretta, they graded their “good skills” by how bad I was… It was awful!!

You see, I’m the idiot. I’m the stupid one. I am the one with no skills at anything under sun. I’m a slut. I drink excessively. I eat excessively. I cuss like a sailor. I will tell you my opinion. And if you didn’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask me.

Only about half of that is true.

But anyway… “Well, Loretta You beat Nadine! Hahahahahahahahaha”… Eddie is a Bastard!

Roy beat Eddie!! ha! Twice!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Well, I’ve beat Roy! There are times when I have actually won! I won 3 times in a row one day!! But I have a problem with gutter balls. I can pick up a spare and I can get strikes but I can also throw gutter balls… I have no control. But I was averagin’ 100 per game. I was ready to take on Eddie and Loretta!!

And then Roy said, “You twist your hand all over, It’s no wonder you have no ball control.”

And I was! This will sound odd but I releasin’ the ball like I was shootin’ a lay-up! Sorta. It put a back spin on the ball but no control on where that damn thing went. So I looked around at all the other people in the bowlin’ alley… all of them where layin’ the ball on the wood like they were pitchin’ a softball under handed.

Huh! So I have been usin’ that method… slow and easy on wood.

And my average has gone down. I need more practice before we take on Eddie and Loretta!

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My first pair… they blew out. Too bad! They are so cute!!! Seriously. First time I wore them on the lanes, the heals fell apart!

I tried to hold my ball with my shoes on and no. There was no way I could hold it up there without droppin’ it and bashin’ my head in! So I had to do it barefooted.

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When I showed Roy my photos, he just grinned, “It’s a wonder I didn’t come home and found you dead with half your face eaten. You know those cats will eat your face, if you do something stupid and kill yourself?”

Men!

Yes he actually said that.

3 comments:

Impulsive Addict said...

OMG! Roy has a way with words, doesn't he? So sweet! CATS EAT FACES??? That freaks me right out!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Nadine! Nadine! You never fail to make me laugh! And I shall spend my evening wondering which half of that was true!

P.S. I'd get rid of those cats if I was you!

MizAngie said...

Hmmmph. Ask him about ball control when they're sittin' on yer chin! No ball control? WhatEVER.

My brother has always said cats would eat faces off. They probably would if you died, laid there for numerous days without feeding the cats, etc. Hopefully somebody would find your cold, dead, rotting body before that happens.