Sunday, March 20, 2011

What? Put It Where??

Oh yes Roy was freaked. He was clingy. I didn’t know how freaked he was until I woke up in the middle of the night with him rubbin’ my back. I have woke up him rubbin’ my ass or gropin’ my boobs… which always gets him laid. But this was very different. He was havin’ a moment.
I let him have his moment.
He wanted come with me to the ultrasound but was worried about work. They are shorthanded with his co-worker’s takin’ off for Spring Break. I told him it was no big deal. We wouldn’t know results that day so there was no reason he needed to be there. I’ve had several ultrasounds over the years, so it’s easy peasy!
I think I told him at least 3 times how the ultrasound worked. “you know those pictures of babies? They just use this mouse like thing on my stomach. It’s no big deal.”
Right.
So I head out to Claremore again drinkin’ a pop becuz I have to have a full bladder. I stopped to get a vanilla Dr. Pepper at the Sonic just in case. By the time I was supposed to be at the hospital, I really needed to pee! And I still had a 45 minutes wait!! So I went to the bathroom to relieve a little… I can do that. And still have a full bladder in 45 minutes!!
I sat down in the waitin’ area with a man and 2 other women to wait for my turn at the ultrasound. The Tech, was a very friendly man, stepped out to get the man and told us ladies that we could go the bathroom and pee. That he does vaginal ultrasounds and a full bladder wasn’t needed.
BACK THE TRUCK UP!!
VAGINAL???
WHAT????
I was sittin’ there tryin’ to picture him with that mousey thing either in my vagina or runnin’ to over all of my business.
DON’T FREAK!!! JUST GO WITH IT!!!
So I sat there, thinkin’ this all over. I would be a big girl and do whatever I needed to do make sure my girl parts are in good workin’ order and stay intact. I waited as long as I possible could before I went to pee again. I knew at least one other woman was ahead of me so I had time.
I just got back from the restroom and sat down, when the Tech called my name! I heard a huge sigh of disgust come from the other woman. Sorry!
I step into the room and look around. There is a hospital bed with a pillow in the middle that looks like someone just got up from havin’ sex!! The Tech asked if I have had an ultrasound like this, which was a big fat no. “It’s Okay. I’ll walk you through it.” And he started talkin’ non-stop!! I looked at his intern and she giggled.
OH GOD!!
She Giggled. For some reason, my big girl attitude washed away. This was a Beavis and Butt-Head moment!!
I followed directions. Puttin’ on the gown, no panties and no britches. He said Britches. You just gotta love a person that uses the term “britches”.
He told me how he wanted me on the bed with my bottom on the pillow… seriously. I’ve had sex just like this a time or two. I almost asked him if he wanted my ass up… but I didn’t. He said bottom on the pillow. So I did and covered up with the sheet.
He held up the this thing that made me think of a dildo that you can buy from Spencer’s but much longer and fancy. Longer.
LONGER.
Like TOO LONG!!!!
“I’ll lube this up and you will insert this…”
WHAT??
INSERT!!!!!!!!! If I put that thing in my vagina all the way it will tickle my tonsils!!!!!!!
Focus Nadine.
“…and you will insert this an inch.”
Did he just say an inch??
Whew!!!!!
“When you have it in place, I will slip my hand under the sheet and take control so that I can maneuver it around where I need to…”
Thank Goodness for that!!! For some reason, that didn’t freak me out. I only know in and out. Not around.
And I laid back and let him have his way with it.
I’m not a complete rube. I listened to what he and the intern talked about. I learned that I have fibroids and a cyst on an ovary.
When it was over, He said, “I didn’t see anything that will kill you.”
Way Cool!!!

When I told Roy, he said, “So I interviewed replacement for nothing.”

I still have to consult with the doctor to get his opinion on what to do next. I’m pleased at this point. Thank you ladies for your support, prayers, and input. It means so much to me. Much Love and Big Hugs to each of you.

5 comments:

Becca said...

Hugs, and those ultrasounds freak me out. I am hoping treatment is as easy peasy for you..big hugs to you..

Tracie said...

I hope it's all nothing! Leave it to doctors to scare the crap out first when it's not big deal. Thiking of you, keep us posted!

tami said...

had a tumor right ovary, begnin,THANK GOD, hysteretomy felt better since. You can have a hysterectomy thru the vagina now days also never have to be cut.

MizAngie said...

I had to have a vaginal ultrasound one time. My tech was female and it was an examination table instead of a bed. The thing I found weird was that she dimmed the lights. I asked if she was trying to get me in the mood, and if she was gonna turn on some Barry White music. I think I embarrassed her. Why don't medical people have a sense of humor?

Billie said...

I have had one of these too as they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

I have had surgery three times to have fibroids removed. Do you have to remove them if they aren't bothering you? Mine were causing blood hemorrhaging and severe pain so they were definitely impacting quality of life.

Good luck with whatever treatment the doctor suggests.