Friday, January 07, 2011

Why I Don’t Have That Photo…

You know.

The dead mouse... Some times it’s just better for all concerned that the corpse be removed immediately.

Roy has talked pretty hot and heavy about carpet but hasn’t just run down to the carpet store and ordered it. He’s overwhelmed by all the stuff we have in the rooms that need carpeted… why I don’t know. The installers will move furniture.

“It’s not the furniture, it’s all your shit that’s all over the place!”

What?

Okay well I do have my sewing business all over. It’s neatly put in tote boxes but there are many. I’m about 3 totes short of being called in for that hoarding show. And we all know that the tote business didn’t go the way I wanted. I deeply appreciate those that bought one or two or three… LOVE YOU! And if you want one, I’ll be happy to make you one… just ask.

Anyway, it was time to put all those totes upstairs. So Roy packed them upstairs. I stayed downstairs to work the door and pick out what I wanted to go up. And then I heard a clatter, like he had knocked something over… I have breakables!! He had no idea what I was talking about. So I had go up there to look around… and see just where he was puttin’ my shit!

All the way in the back room!! On the other side of the bed!!

And there’s a funky smell.

The bed is an old iron bed that I had cleaned off so he could sleep in it when he was drivin’ me nuts with his allergies… or me to sleep in. I didn’t care. One of us was getting’ some sleep! And I used it as a flat place tie fleece together for blankets and dog beds… it’s cat hair free! So there is stray material all over the floor… I’m a messy seamstress. As I was standin’ there talkin’ to him about knockin’ over stuff, I had one foot under the bed and I notice my foot on something soft. The thought went thru my head that is was that stray fabric and I would just get it and take down to the trash. So I turned my ankle to pull the fabric out from under the bed.

The whole thing didn’t take 2 seconds… it takes longer to type it all out.

And when I looked down to pick up that stray fabric I saw a dead mouse under my toes!!!

EEEEEEUUUUUUUUWWWWWWW!!!!!!! IIIIIICCKKKKKK!!!!!!!! EEEEEUUUWWW!!! EEEUUUWWW!!!! IIICK!!!!! I was hoppin’ up and down squealing!!!

You know when you paint your toe nails, how you spread your toes out and walk on your heels??? That’s how I ran thru the upstairs bedrooms and all the way down the steps and into the bathroom!! And kicked my foot in the sink to wash off the dead mouse germs.

Squealin’ every step of the way!! I have fallen down those stairs tryin’ really hard not to fall and how I flew down them hobbled I have no idea! Roy was right behind me with the corpse… Cats were runnin’ for cover!!

“Cut off my foot!! Cut it off and sew it back on!!! EEEUUUWWWW!!! I’d rather have stepped in cow manure!!!!!” as I’m scrubbin’ my foot! I think if I hadn’t been so concerned about getting’ my foot scrubbed I’da been pukin’!!

Roy didn’t say a word. I think he was tryin’ to suppress his laughter. What I do know, is he was in the way! He could wash his mouse hands in the kitchen! My foot was infected with dead mouse cooties and that was way more important than his mouse hands!!! And I don’t care what fell and broke or where he put my shit!! I was polluted by dead mouse germs!

ICK!!!!!

So there’s no photo.

4 comments:

Tracie said...

uck - that might be worse than the night I stepped in someone else's vomit at the mall

Barbara said...

I just want to start the year off by telling you I have enjoyed your blog...guess you could say I need to come out of the closet and stop being a lurker....lol
I can just picture me doing the same thing if I stepped on a mouse....lucky for me the worse I have stepped in barefoot is cat puke, and why does it always have to be on the carpet??....

RavNsLove said...

That is frickin hi-larious WOMAN! OMG...I hope you anti-bacterial soap. hehe! Poor girl. I love ya!

Katy said...

I think that's probably for the best. If I'd touched a dead mouse I would have done the same thing.