Monday, January 10, 2011

Thieves, Paranoia, And Missed Opportunities…

Several weeks ago, I was readin’ a book while Roy paced the floor. He was tryin’ justify goin’ to bed at 7:30 in the evenin’ and why I should go bed with him… “I’m not sleepy. Leave me alone. Let me read my book until I get tired.” But he ranted and paced anyway.

Until he noticed headlights on the road. They were goin’ pretty damn slow! Like to a halt in front of our house. An in an instant the car pulled into our driveway and out went the lights! The driveway buzzer told me that the car pulled in but didn’t back out.

For many years we had this place lite up like FtKnox! Paranoia overload… and then he turned into his dad.

Don’t tell him I said that. He gets all pissy about being compared to his dad when it comes penny pinchin’. Roy buys the best stuff. Damn the price but has started to turn off lights and bitch at me when I don’t. I step out of a room for 2 seconds and not shut off the light, knowing full well that I am goin’ right back into that room but NOT BEFORE WE HAVE A KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT over it.

Anyway, he let the lights around the outside of the house burn out and didn’t bother to replace them, thinkin’ he was savin’ money. Well, it looks like nobody lives here! The grass has grown up in the ditch and the yard is needin’ to be mowed and now it’s freakin’ dark at nights!! People have asked about the ditches! I just tell them, “my lawn dude has a payin’ job now.”

So it looks like nobody lives here!

Despite the fact that my car is in the carport, I have a car in my driveway with it’s headlights off. We have had neighbors’ homes and cars broken in to, so there it was in my driveway.

Roy said, “turn off the light.” I did. And then he said, “what do I do?”

What?

“Dude! Put your pants on and go out there!”

Armed with his flashlight and his gun he went out. I had my phone ready to call for backup.

I heard him yellin’ “Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out right now!” The driveway buzzer sounded as they backed out and went on their way.

Roy said he saw a man standin’ outside the car and he told Roy he was just parkin’. “I thought about firin’ off a couple rounds but I knew you’d call the cops, when you heard gunfire.”

Damn straight! Officer in need of backup!! Shots fired!! Shots fired!!

The night we went to the ChristmasParty and missed the opportunity to win a TV, remember that? Roy has taken a lot of ribbin’ about leavin’ early and not getting’ the TV… But as we drove up our road, there was a car drivin’ really slow… again! With the passenger either getting’ in or attemptin’ to get out… the door was open for some reason. This time we run the little red truck up their bumper and chased them off.

Had we stayed and won the TV we would have stayed another 30 to 45 minutes chattin’ it up, laughin’ and havin’ a good time only to have come home to a burgled and trashed house. I have to think we came out ahead.

After that night, he put new lights around the outside of the house. I feel better.

1 comment:

RavNsLove said...

That would scare the crap outta me! I am so glad you got new lights! You should hire a new lawn boy...make him wear a thong. hehe!

I am glad ya'll were home and 7:30 is too early for bed. Tell him I said so.