Monday, January 17, 2011

I’m So Spoilt…

Well How Spoilt Are You??

I’m so spoilt that all I have do is ask and my husband will leap over tall buildings and swim across gator infested waters to make my every wish and desire a reality.

He carries me around on a pink satin goose down feather pillow so that my tiny feet do thread where mere mortals walk… And when he needs a rest, I’m place upon a tall ivory pedestal. He paces the bottom and pees on the bushes to deter others from comin’ too close to his Baby.

He’s growled at men… I kid you not!

I don’t ask for everything becuz of that very thing. It a wicked awesome power that I have… the man is bewitched.

The last thing I want is have to take care of his gator munched ass when I could be drivin’ around in my brand spankin’ new Corvette!

I’m not a good nurse.

He likes to tell a story of when he had a broken ankle and was in the kitchen on his crutches while I was less than 10 feet away and he fell.

And Sat There on the Kitchen Floor. I didn’t do a thing to help him.

I didn’t know it. I never heard him fall. He says he yelled and yelled for me.

Right!! I never heard a word. Seriously. Less than 10 away!!

If I didn’t’ hear his cries for help, it was becuz He ALWAYS has the TV turned up so high becuz HIS lack of hearing!!!

I’m not a good nurse. I am for adult entertainment only. I used to be a show pony… I’m more of a chunky over-fed shetland now.

So my point is I weld a lot of power. I test drove a cute little 2 seater BMW… Oh did I look cute in it!! The power was awesome!! And when I came back to the lot and got outta the car he said, “Don’t pull out that hoop. I can’t jump thru that one.”

And I didn’t. I know my limits. I know when to stomp my foot and pout.

Once we looked over a Corvette… OMG!! It molded to me… my shortness and all!! I was sittin’ in HEAVEN! But I didn’t pull out my hoop on that one either.

It’s an awesome feelin’ knowin’ I have such a power… He is the best man.

Last year, we kept track of which one of us had the most money spent on other, I easily won. He may have had scopes, boots, coats, and a gun but I won. I always come out on top.

But this year, for the first time ever he started sayin’ a foul word that I haven’t EVER heard before… Ugly Word. NO.

He has told me no.

Yes. He said no. I know I was caught of guard the first time I heard it come out of his mouth… but he said it and to add insult to injury, he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

There was no jumpin’ thru the HOOP!

There was no leapin’ over tall buildin’s!

NO GATORS TO SWIM THRU… but he said no anyway.

To carpet samples, to chinese food, and to a new piece of furniture!!

Well, this year, we are gonna kept track of all the times he says no to me.

But we are not gonna count those times… we are gonna  start with this one…

1 comment:

MizAngie said...

What the hell? NO? What's his problem?

Sounds to me like he's thrown down a challenge...getting him to change that no to a yes! hahahahaha....

Good luck!