Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The First No That Counts…

I’ve wanted a tattoo for awhile but Roy isn’t into that… Hates those tattooed gals on the PlayboyChannel!! “Why would someone trash their body that way with all those ugly tattoos.”

I just want something small on my ankle… like a daisy chain. But then again… if my ankle get fat, will my daisy chain fall apart??

I know what a tramp stamp will look like on my backside from helpin’ my momma pee every five minutes when she was in the hospital.

Not that she has one… but what my backside will look like when I’m 63. And it doesn’t need a tribal flames or  smokin’ pistols on my Johnson Fuzz!! It wouldn’t be pretty. At. All.

But a small Flutterby or my upside down heart with Roy’s name in it on my ankle… that’s more my style. Seriously… ROY in it.heart

Something like that… I’m sure a real artist can come up with something less crude. I’ve told him hundreds of times I would get “Roy” tattooed on my ass anytime. He just rolls his eyes.

I’ve wanted to buy some of those airbrushed shirts with Roy and Nadine in the upside down hearts on them but he just rolls his eyes. That’s not really a “no” but rather an “oh please, don’t and if you do, don’t make me wear it” look.

Seriously. Wouldn’t that be so cute??

And it’s not like as if we’ve had the knock down drag out over it… I just choose my battles and what I’d really rather fight for… purses, shoes, swimmin’ pools and cruises.

Well.

He may not like the tats on the gals on the PlayboyChannel but he does like the nipple piercin’s.

I’ve put my foot down.

He’s offered to buy me diamonds to wear in them to entice me.

He could buy be a Corvette to dangle from them but I’m not doin’ it!!

A friend of mine told me a tale of young lady that pierced her nipples at a biker rally and was drunk and moanin’ all night long about how much pain she was in…. ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

My daughter did it. Someone told her when she nursed her future babies that the milk would come out all sorta holes… she took them out and let them grow back after a week.

And then he started tellin’ me NO!

The Battle Lines Were Drawn!! I have chosen something to fight for!!

So I said, “I’ll gladly pierce one if you allow me to get a tattoo.”

I’d do the right one. Poor little thing, it pops out all the time and that would be a bedazzled “wardrobe malfunction”. Becuz, I’d have my nipple all glitzed up. He did say diamonds. That incident with the stripper… remember that? Her nipples were pierced.

And if my daughter could do it… I can do it!

He went from elation to despair in 0.2 seconds!! His fantasy was about to come true. “She’s gonna pierce her nipple for me? What? Tattoo?? Fuck No!”

But he said, “where and what?”

So he’s thinkin’ about it. But I got my note pad and I marked it as one NO!

JackAss!!!

2 comments:

MizAngie said...

I got my ankle tatt on my 40th birthday. I haven't regretted it once, although my nephew calls it my trashy tattoo. I want another one...just can't decide what or where...

Territory Mom said...

Oh girl!!
making sure you are safe. I heard the snow and ice will hit your area first.