Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Letter Number 7…

To an Ex-Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Love, or Crush…

And how hard is it to keep this from being a rant about Loretta… EXTREMELY HARD!!

So…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dearest Jon,

At the time, I didn’t realize that you had strong feelings for me. At the time, I was so wrapped up in “all my men” to notice that you were being protective of me from them.

Not in all the teasin’ you did with me did I realize what was going on with you... That time you told me to close my eyes, I just knew would put a bug down my shirt. But you gently kissed my cheek.

I don’t know who blushed more, you or me.

I think it finally sank in when you gave me your rat tail. It’s no wonder your girlfriend hated me.

But You were only 16 and I was 27.

It was only Puppy Love.

You will always have a special spot in my heart.

Hugs,

Nadine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I still have the rat tail.

And Yes. I was a Saucy Bitch!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Totally Un-Motivated…

IMAGE

Maybe later.

I think I’ll go sew something.

But what I really want to know is… Who broke in and took my photo?!?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Letter Number 6…

A letter to a stranger…

I’ve thought about this for 4 weeks. And I still haven’t come up with anything. All the people I encounter are not strangers to me. I travel in a small circle. You know I’d easily bitch about about someone that ticked me off… but no. Nothing.

Let’s define stranger...  a person with whom one has had no personal acquaintance: a perfect stranger.

The act of sitting on one's hand for 20 minutes to make it go numb, and proceeding to jerk off with that hand. This will give the feeling of a hand... Aaaahh… the Urban Dictionary. Huh?

Let’s go with Perfect Stranger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To The Green Eyed Stranger,

Don’t Move! Let me look at you.

Let me take in those broad shoulders and long tanned arms. Oh to be wrapped in them… mmm…

I want to run my finger’s thru that sandy blonde hair and gently pull that grass from it.

Turn.

Slowly… mmm…

That’s it.

What a great ass?!

And you are wearin’ those Levi’s so tight to it.

Tell me, in whispers in my ear so I can feel your breath on it, why men stopped wearin’ their jeans so snug, when it shows off their best features.

Oh Yes, and Those Button Flys pop open so easily.

And you smell like fresh mowed hay and diesel… mmmm...

Oh, I wanna do bad things.

Lusting You,

Charlotte,  Receptionist at Critters &  Hooters Clinic

You’ll have to follow the link to understand who Charlotte is… so worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And Thank You So Very Much Your Purchase, MrFarmer. And Please, Do Come Again!”

 

There are days I miss working, becuz farmers smell so good!

Now excuse me, I’ll be spendin’ some time alone in my room.

Friday, August 27, 2010

3 Of My Many Guilty Pleasures…

I have many. But we’ll only talk about 3 that won’t make you blush.

1) Reality TV!

And I’m not talkin’ about Big Brother or Survivor but those on TLC or The Discovery Channel or Bravo.

Toddlers and Tiaras, LA Ink, Dirty Jobs… Mike Row is Hot!!

I love The Real Housewives of New Jersey and New York. I do wish they’d drop those wildass women that create all the bad vibes… Danielle is just painful to watch and Kelly needs help. Professional help.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels! I don’t think I can articulate the appeal to you, But I am in love with Gene Simmons. When he went to be with his girlfriend, Shannon Tweed for her biopsy news, I fell for him. He is not the Demon. He’s a sweet man that wears footed Jammies.

2) I love Rod Stewart.

Can I get an Amen?!?

No? Come On!! The Original Mullet!!!!

Do you think I’m sexy??

Maggie Mae???

Foot Loose and Fancy Free???

Every Picture Tells A Story, Don’t It??

I love Love Rub a Dub Love Rod Stewart!!! I will sit around and listen to Rod CDs all day long… if Roy would let me.

He’s not a fan.

3) This will come as a shocker but I love action movies. I would love to go see the Expendables. I need some Boys, Toys, and Noise!

Chick flicks have there place… I need testosterone every now and again.

I think that’s why I love Football!!

Tight pants and sweat!!! Oh Yeah!!!

 

So tell! What is your guilty pleasure?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Bubba, A Pony, And The Propane Tank Part 2…

My filly wasn’t a pinto but I didn’t care. Little Joe would love me on any horse I rode.

She was so cute and so tiny. I could stand beside her and touch her back not like Momma’s big horse. On Momma’s big horse, it was scary… and a long way to the ground! Even when I was 14, it was a long way to the ground!! But that’s another story for another day!

I brushed my pony and helped feed her. I helped trim her mane and braided her tail. I had a saddle all ready for her… after she was broke!

Yep. She wasn’t broke to ride.

I’ve been hardheaded and determined to have my way all my life. And if that pony needed to be broke to ride, I would do it. I’ve seen how it’s done.

I can do it! Up to now in my 5 year old life, I’d survived the birth of my brother, the chicken pox, and I’d already ran away from home once! I could do anything!!

But I would need help. I recruited my baby brother. Bubba was 2.

My pony was broke to lead, and I had been leadin’ her around all mornin’ in the yard... all of 10 minutes. I was tryin’ to wear her out… make her more docile.

I was ready.

Bubba was ready. He had his cowboy boots on and his hat… along with his diaper.

And I said, “Okay Bubba, Get Up There! I’ll Give You A Ride!”

He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.

“Like this. Hold the reigns.” and handed them over. I grabbed a hand full of mane and thru my leg over her back.

I sat there all of 2 seconds when that pony exploded!

Bubba fell backwards on his butt and let go of the reigns. I held on for dear life!! I managed to stay on for the 2nd buck but that was all she wrote!!!

I went flyin’ thru the air and hit the propane tank with my shoulder!!

That pony went runnin’ for the barn! She had had enough!!

Now don’t think that we were left unsupervised. I looked over to the barn area and there was Daddy. He had watched the entire thing. Both of his kids were sittin’ in crumpled heaps and bawlin’ but he was laughin’.

Oh… Good Times.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bubba, A Pony, And The Propane Tank Part 1…

When I was a little girl, Momma wanted horses. Daddy being the sorta guy that makes dreams come true, bought her a horse. Momma had aspirations of being a champion barrel racer… it wasn’t gonna happen on that nag she picked out! The damn thing was afraid of barrels, the fence posts, the mailbox… they say it was becuz someone roped goats with her. That’s the end of any good horse!! To rope goats!!! Bad Juju! Not only that but she was a slow runner and had no stop button… but that’s another story all together.

So when Momma’s dream was dashed to bits, she decided to compete with wagons and ponies… something like The Prairie Schooner with Boomer and Sooner… without the tarp… and the style and finesse. Daddy had a wagon made for her and he bought her a set of Shetland ponies and all the tack and gear that she would need for her adventures.

No fair! I wanted a pony too. Momma can’t have EVERYTHING!!

Every year during the State Fair in Tulsa, discount coupons were given out in the 6 pack bottles of Pepsi for the fair. Now in my 5 year old brain, those coupons were for entries to win a pony! Why I don’t know. I can’t imagine that Pepsi would actually give away a pony but that’s what I saw! And I wanted that pony! We went to the fair but I never got that pony!

I wanted a pinto pony, just like Little Joe’s Pinto!! So we could ride together and match. I loved Little Joe. I was so stressed and cryin’ about him dyin’ and never returnin’ to the Ponderosa and Daddy said, “It’s just a TV show, He’ll be fine.” And sure enough, Little Joe didn’t die and come back next week. Daddy was so wise!

And Very Smart! He had all his favorite girls wantin’ ponies!! So he bought Momma her matchin’ set for racin’ and one of the pony’s had a little filly with her!!!

I was over the moon!!

A New Pony!

Bubba?

The Propane Tank?

Tune in Tomorrow for the next installment of  Nadine’s Childhood.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Letter Number 5…

To My Dreams…

I’ve had a hard time with this one.

I’m thinkin’ about my weirdass dreams. You know the ones that I spin a good story as if it’s real and then I let you off the hook by sayin’, “And Then I Woke Up.”

Well, I’m concoctin’ a “Nadine Style Dream” when I read Margaret’s letter, she was talkin’ about her life goals, wishes and achievements…. WHOA!

Back the Truck Up! I totally had to rethink this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Santa,

What the Hell?!!

You hustle gifts all over the world in one night and you didn’t come thru for me!

Oh You may have brought me bicycles and go-karts. Even a frickin’ pony!

Big Whoop Dee Frickin’ Do!!!

It threw me into the propane tank!

Thank You Very Much for That Memory!

But all I wanted was long legs.

Thank You Very Much for Dashin’ My Dreams of Being Tall!!

I’m so over you.

Nadine

Monday, August 23, 2010

2 Truths And A Lie…

The Monday McLinky is a get to know you thing… The Real Housewives of Oklahoma wants to know 2 truths and 1 lie.

Come join in!

Geez… What don’t you know already?? My Blog is an Open Blog running 24/7.

But here we go…

1) I will leave Roy flat footed when Brad Pitt wises up and realizes that the love of his life is a freckled gal standin’ 4 foot 11 inches tall and lives in Oklahoma.

Roy knows this fact. And sits on pins and needles in fear and anticipation of that fateful day.

2) I am a klutz. So much so, that my husband won’t leave me alone in the bathtub for fear that I will slip and fall gettin’ out, hittin’ my head upon the vanity counter and dyin’.

Mostly, becuz he doesn’t want to be blamed for my demise.

I’m not allowed to swim alone, mow the yard, or do anything that involves motors and blades. Not even the ice shaver!  But yet he leaves me alone with firearms… Go Figure!

I have fallen down the stairs, off the deck, off the ladder and into the pool. And each time, as I’m fallin’ I think to myself, “This is when I hit my head and die.”

And very briefly, my brain wonders where Roy is so he’s not blamed for it!!

3) I Hate Drama!!!

No. Really!

It’s True!! I will Leave Roy… When Brad Knocks on the Door!!! 

I hate drama. That’s why I Cut All the Negative People Out.

Okay, Okay.

You got me.

I love Drama. I’m the Drama Queen in our family.

I’m still cuttin’ out the negative people.

I’ll just break Brad’s heart… even though he drove all that way to get me.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Letter Number 4…

To my siblings… RubyJune and Bubba.

The Last Will and Testament of Nadine Hightower

I have left EVERYTHING to Roy. No Ifs. No Ands. Or Buts!

He knows my wishes for my personal things. And That’s That!

If the girls want something THEY are to ASK HIM FOR IT. Period.

In the event that Roy is not on this earth to carry out my wishes all my personal belongings are to be divided equally between YOU TWO. With the exception of 3 COP guns,  the 2 357’s and the Ruger mini 14, those go to RoyJr. Roy carried them and they are to go to his son. If anyone from his family comes to you and asks for anything else, the answer is no. Just those 3 only. Period.

Do not give my things to the girls and say, “Your mother wanted you to have it.” I DO NOT. This is my chance to say that, and I didn’t. 

In the event I should become incapacitated and unable to make my own decisions, and hooked up to life support with no possible chance of recovery, I have signed the necessary papers to give Roy power of attorney. So when he pulls the plug, he didn’t kill me. Despite popular thought, he would never harm me.

In the event that Roy is not on this earth to carry out my wishes I have signed the necessary papers to give VoiletJean power of attorney.

Shocked?

I know you are.

I do not want either of you to have to pull the plug. I couldn’t do it for either of you… I’d be eat up with guilt.

Roy knows my wishes for a memorial. Don’t mess with him about it. If you want something different, do it for you. Not me. I don’t want some stranger to say words over me.

Roy will cremate me, throw me in the lake, and have a party. Done!

If you want somewhere to put flowers, put extras on Dad. Done!

This is what I want and you will do it.

Or I will haunt you! Don’t make me do it!!

You know I will!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

98.9% of this is true… sad. But true.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Big Test…

As Roy was leavin’ to go to work, he says, “If you hear someone bangin’ around outside, what’s the first thing you do?
I look up at him like he’s nuts… becuz I live to mess with him… “I’m callin’ you.”
He rolls his eyes.
We have this discussion all the time. And all the time he tells me what he expects me to do… but I tell him something off the wall and he’s gets all worked up and rolls his eyes.
Some nights when he goes to bed first, he picks up the pistol and says, “yell if someone kicks in the door. I’ll come out guns blazin’.”
And I always reply, “you wanna me to test you?”
He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, “no. I don’t want you to test me.”
“I will do it. I want you to be all brushed up for battle.”
He just rolls his eyes.
“Oh Come On! I’ll time you!”
But tonight, I gettin’ the lesson for what to do when he’s not here... again. The routine is to get the gun and position myself between both front and back doors and wait until they come in. It’s bad JuJu if they’re NOT IN THE HOUSE. AND YOU CAN’T DRAG THEM IN!!
Can you see me??
“Are you feelin’ Lucky, Punk!” with my phone in one hand and the 45 in the other.
“Well, I’m still callin’ you. Get the gun, call you, and then wait. Either they’ll come in and get shot or you’ll come home and save me.”
That is what he’s for, my knight in shinin’ armor come rushin’ up on his trusty steed to save me. Right?
He just rolls his eyes, “You flunked the test. I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe and you just make fun. It’s all fun and games until you get hurt.”
Good Point but I’m Still Callin’ Him!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Old Habits Die Hard…

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind,
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were….

So I was drivin’ home from HellMart the other day when the car in front of me slowed so I did… no biggy.
And then again.
And again.
I pulled my car to the left to see what the deal was… I was actually 3rd in the train behind a van that was had it’s turn signal on to turn left… no biggy. Maybe just a person out trackin’ garage sales. Unfamiliar with the area… no biggy.
But after two miles, it still never turned. And we’re all drivin’ about 45mph. You know me, I’m gettin’ pissed!
After goin’ thru HellMart with Someone’s Screamin’ Kid, “IIIIIIII WAAAAAANT AAAAAA POPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
“IIIIIIII WAAAAAANT AAAAAA POPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
“IIIIIIII WAAAAAANT AAAAAA POPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
“IIIIIIII WAAAAAANT AAAAAA POPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
“IIIIIIII WAAAAAANT AAAAAA POPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!
So I thought that at the first opportunity I get, I would pass them all and go home!
Just give me a clear 1/2mile and I’m gone! Blow Their Doors Off!
And then the van went into the Right Ditch!
Dust Flew Up and WE ALL Said, “Oh Shit!” All the cars in the train put the brake lights on.
But it wasn’t until the van went over the center line… twice… with on comin’ traffic… that we Realized The Driver of The Van WAS DRUNK!!
I called Roy.
“Honey!! I’m followin’ a drunk!! I’m fine. I’m 3rd behind him.” I had to make that clear.
“He’s been in the right ditch and over the center line twice. He’s gonna hit someone!”I said in my most UnFreaked Voice, which isn’t easy for me. My Freak Measurer it set on High.
“Well give him plenty of room!! Don’t follow to close!!” He yelled at me!!
All he heard was “Following a Drunk”. And he thinks that I tailgate EVERYONE! And I don’t! I’m gettin’ ready to pass, that’s all. And believes that I drive 70 mph EVERYWHERE I go.
“Honey! I’m 3rd car back. He’s a good quarter mile…whoa shit! He’s over the center line again!!”
“BABE!!!!!” You know he’s freakin’!!! “Don’t follow to close and slow down!!”
See. All he heard was “Whoa SHIT!” and envisions me tailgatin’ a drunk drivin’ at the a reckless speed of 70mph.
“Dude! I’m doin’ 40mph at the frickin’ moment and I’m 3 cars back and we are 1/4 mile behind him. Your baby is fine!”
There was a long pause… I thought I was cut off or something. And then he said, “We aren’t the cops anymore. I can’t do anything about it.”
Oh yeah… Shit!
I followed the drunk until he pulled into a convenience store for more beer. I drove home… safely. I didn’t tailgate or speed recklessly! My car handles very nicely at 70!
So it's the laughter,
We will remember,
Whenever we remember,
The way we were…

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It’s The Big One, Elizabeth…

So Roy calls me all hyped up. “You are not gonna believe this! I come in from lockin’ the gates and I looked up at the monitor for the front gate and outta nowhere a huge truck comes thru it!! I was freakin’ out!!”

I can just imagine him freakin’ out. A truck barrelin’ thru the front gate after hours!!

He a Safety and Secure Man! He’s secures things. He’s been a cop and trusts no one. Once, after the clinic was broken into he took it upon himself to “patrol” the clinic when he went on duty… it was on the way to the Turnpike. One night, he walked around the buildin’ to check the back door and there on the ground was the door frame!!   Broke wood and debris from being kicked in… He thought someone had broken in again!! He was ready draw his gun and do whatever needed to be done… and then he realized that it was the old frame and the door was secure.

Gave him a heart attack!!

So here is a huge truck crashin’ the front gate at work when he gave the monitor a better look before runnin’ out there to do Lord knows what… I have all the guns with me… and saw that it was a huge spider on the camera pointed at the gate.

Gave him a heart attack!

It’s okay to laugh. I did.

“Now it ain’t funny, Babe! What if…”

blah blah blah… hahahahahahaha.

He really needs those glasses.

Monday, August 16, 2010

My DumbAss Okie Life...

What do you write about?

Thats the Question for Monday's McLinky thingy at the Real Housewives of Oklahoma.

And my answer: My dumbass Okie Life.
It's all I know.
I can't make that shit up!
I might embellish a bit but I don't make it up!!

Some people may not understand my senseof humor, may not appreciate it, or whatever.
But that's okay. I can live with that.
There are plenty that do "get me". 
And I love those people.

Lyrics from a song seems to fit well...

I know I can be colorful.
I know I can be gray.
But I know this loser's living fortunate,
cause I know you will love me either way.
 
I love that.
 
Link-up! It doesn't matter if you live in the fine State of Oklahoma or not, just link-up and meet nice people. I did and I've met some very interestin' people from here, there, and yonder.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Letter Number 3…

To my parents…

I was Daddy’s Little Girl… we’re good. He’s been gone now for 27 years. So that leaves Mom… And we’re not so good at times.

We’ve had our ups and downs. I’ve shut her out many times. She’s not the mom I wanted. I wanted Lucille Ball or Cher to be my mom. But what I got was Joan Crawford! There were no beatin’s but the neglect was just as painful. It’s not like she left me in the car in the heat or anything. It was more like indifference. Some people are not cut out to be moms.

And when I stopped tryin’ make  her be my mom but more of a person that just happens to in my family… like those cousins that I  saw only in the Summer during their vacations in Oklahoma, I was more at ease with her. I lowered my expectations of her and I was much happier with our relationship.

So we were in one of  “high spots” when I closed the door to my family. There were people that were caught off guard and cut out needlessly… causalities of war. It was easier to cut  them all out than to make them feel the need to choose sides.

My mom was one of them.

She wrote me this email:

I am very up set about the things that have happen in our family.  I just got my little girl back and now she is gone again.  I do want you to feel that you can come to my house anytime that you want.  I'm 63 and I want as much time with all of you that I can have.  As we all know, all too well, life is short and we need to thank God for ever day that we have.  I just wanted you to know that I love you and I miss you and would love for you to be in my life.   Mom

 

My reply and Letter Number 3 …To My Mother.

I know that.

Thanks.

I love you too.

Friday, August 13, 2010

And Now For The Rest Of The Story…

I feel like Paul Harvey.

So the eye exam appointment was made for Thursday at 10am. “Can you remember that?” I was asked.
Me?? Why must I always take flack!
I was up and gettin’ dressed when Roy said, “Do you think they could just put new lenses in my old frames?”
WHAT!! THE!!! HELL!!!?????
“Why in the world would you want to do that? Those are so outta date that my Grandpa wears the same pair!! And he’s 85!!!! You’re not an old man, why would you want to keep them?”
And he said the 3 little words I use on him. All. The. Time. “I like them.”
This isn’t my first rodeo. And he isn’t gonna use me against me.
I started to dig around in my jewelry box to find my weapon of choice and pulled the big guns… my AuntPattie’s Cat Eye Glasses… complete with green lenses that she wore in 1968! I put them on and fluffed my hair up and went to battle!!
“If you do not get new modern frames I will go down and have my prescription put in these and wear them every where I go! Why? Becuz I like them!”
Point Made!
At Sears, he went back to have his exam while I looked over frames. The receptionist told me I could with go him. I declined. “No. This is my me time. I’ll stay here.”
In the mean time another couple came in… an older couple in their mid 70’s. Another man with eye troubles. The Mrs and I chit chatted while the men were looked after. Her man was just as stuck on his big huge frames from the 70’s that mine was and just as cantankerous… sorta. Roy’s good about it. He makes people laugh. He isn’t hateful… not normally. He’s exasperatin’!
I told her, “My husband will warm them up for yours.”
Roy came out of the exam room, he asked if I had some suggestions. Of Course I Do!
And so here we go… I handed him a pair.
“These are so light!”
“I like them.”
“There are made so flimsy!”
“Your face is crooked.”
“It is not!”
“Try these.”
“They don’t fit.”
“Your face is just crooked.”
“My mustache is crooked.”
“It is not!”
“I’ll just shave it off!”
“YOU WILL NOT!”
“I like these.”
“Those are like your old pair.”
“I know!”
“These make you look like a uni-brow!”
“We can’t have that!”
“This is my pick. You may look over the rest but THESE are the ones.” I sat back down next to the other lady and she whispered to me, “You are so right! He’s a pill!”
Roy had one more thing to do with the EyeDr… that dilation thing… She… SHE… just in case you didn’t catch that last pitch… She came outta the exam room smilin’ at me sorta blushed like… I don’t know what took place in there or what he said but it made her blush.
Oh yeah, he’s a pill!
And That My Friends… Is The Rest Of The Story.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Can See Clearly Now…

Roy had to have his eyes checked. He hasn’t had an eye exam in 20 years. But instead of makin’ an appointment himself, he’d rather piss and moan about it for 3 months. He feels that his vision has declined greatly in the last 3 months. But he drags his feet.
Roy is a procrastinator. Pure and Simple. Remember how long it took him to roof the house?
And you know what shoppin’ with him for HIS STUFF is like. You know how much I dislike that!
But wait I’m gettin’ the cart before the horse…
So every time he brings up that he needs eyes check and new glasses, the conversation goes like this:
“Hey Babe, What do you think of Dr. So&So?”
I love Dr. So&So. “He’s a good Dr. Do you want me get you his number?”
“No. Do you think he’ll rip me off?”
Like I get Ripped Off! “Honey, he’s a good Doctor and he’s always been fair. The girls in his office fixed my glasses for free… twice. Let me get the number.”
“No. Whatta ‘bout those ones at the mall?”
Oh Help Me. “You could call them and see what they offer. Let me get you the number.”
“No. Let me think about it.”
EVERY TIME!! The same conversation… every time! For 3 months!
So on a Wednesday after havin’ this aspirating’ conversation for the umpteen bazillionth time, I finally said, “Honey, I’m callin’ one of these places and makin’ an appointment with one of them. You will piss and moan about it every step of the way. Either you do it or I WILL!”
He called Dr. So&So. “I’d like to make an appointment to have my eyes checked.”
Instantly, he puts his finger in his ear! This is not good! “Excuse me?”
And poof! He jumps up… This is BAD.
You know his hearin’ is bad. So bad he has a hearin’ aid… that he doesn’t wear. He tried very recently to wear it and I loved it!!! He could hear me clearly and I didn’t have to repeat everything I said twice. The first time becuz I try to speak in normal voice and Twice becuz I have  to speak a little louder. If I have to say something a 3rd time, he gets TONE… lots of TONE!!
“Don’t you take that TONE with me Missy!”
But that bliss lasted an hour. And back to the box it went.
So there he is on his feet with his finger in ear tryin’ to hear the person on the other end better, when he gives up and hands me the phone. “Talk to her. Is she even speakin’ English?”
I’ve never had a problem with understandin’ the girls that work there… until I spoke to this one.
She was either hurt becuz of Roy’s statement or is just plain mousey becuz my finger went to my ear too! GEE Whiz!! If you are gonna be a receptionist you can be bold and still be professional… I did it.
Roy’s havin’ his kanniption fit, while I’m tryin’ to hear what she said, when HE said, “next week? Tell her thank you and good bye.” And that’s what I did.
Roy called SearsOptical and scheduled an appointment for Thursday… the next day.
And all is right with the world.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Letter Number 2…

To my Crush…

Dear Eric Northman,

I lust you… badly.

Bite Me. Please.

Yours WhenEver or WhereEver… and Forever,

Nadine XOXO

eric

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Laptop Went To The Shop…

So I was just sittin’ there on the couch Homesteadin’ my heart out when my 6 month old Toshiba laptop went black!

No warning!

No power surge or lightnin’!

Just Black and Dead!

So I plugged it in thinkin’ the battery needed charged… no!

DEAD!

I took the battery off. Nothing.

There’s no reset button or nothing… JUST DEAD!!

Roy took notice of my cussin’ and distress instantly!! He said, without hem hawin’ around, “So I guess we’re goin’ to town tomorrow!”

 

Damn Straight!!

6 months old!!!!!

Turns out it had a defective motherboard! MOTHERBOARD!!!!

What the Hell?!?!?

I love the Geek Squad. They had it for a little over 2 weeks… one THE longest 2 weeks of my life!!!

Remember Dial-up?? That’s what my desk top PC is like… with it’s slowass granny panties on it loads pages… with errors… I have to refresh over and over and over…

I managed to blog for 5 years on the old girl but after drivin’ a Porsche of PC’s, it was hard to get back behind the wheel of that old Ford LTD!!

Have you ever driven a Ford LTD??

I have!

It was a ‘78 Black with a Orange Racing stripe wrapped around it. That car was more temperamental than me! I referred to her as the Old Black Bitch!  She was hard to start when she got hot. She was long and had no A/C, so I was always misjudgin’ her nose and hittin’ things and she was hot to drive… I hated that car. But that was EarlLee’s kinda car.

She finally died… Luckily in the Driveway... EarlLee replaced her with a ‘76 Ford Grand Torino Elite. It was Christmas Tree Green with white interior. It was THE Top of the Line in Elites. It was my 3rd Elite. I was lucky enough… if you want to call it that… to have had each Engine size that Ford put in ‘76 Elites. I bought more parts for all of them than you can shake a stick at. I know the difference in the  351Windsor, and the 351Cleveland!

The Green Bomb was in the shop all the time! I lost track of how many times that car was on the rollback!

I got rid of EarlLee and Roy got rid of the Green Bomb!

So I guess what I’m gettin’ at here is I was deeply disappointed in my Toshiba Laptop. It should be able to withstand me. I’m not hard on it by any means. I am on it a lot but still… It hasn’t been abused. It didn’t take one of those brown outs that we get at least 3 times a week like the Fridge and Window A/C takes! It should last as long as my GrannyPC! Which is 6 years old!!

It didn’t cost me anything but frustration and stress that I MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO IT.

Shit just happens to me. It really does.

That’s why I’m not allowed to swim without a buddy… I slipped on the steps of the ladder gettin’ in the pool. As I’m fallin’ towards the water, I’m thinkin’, “This is where I hit my head and drown.”

And come to think of it… we even had the ‘76 Ford Ranchero. It was Red with a Huge Purple Racing Stripe. Roy and I called it Nadine!!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Letter Number 1...

To my Best Friend…
As I looked over the list of letters I realized that most would be written to Roy. He's my best friend, my lover, my body guard, my guidance counselor... my everything.
And as you can tell this whole blog is a Valentine to Roy. He is the love of my life… so it will be hard to gear the letters away from him.
I’ll give it a good try.
******************************************************************************

Hey Girlfriend!
I saw a couple of teenage girls ridin’ horses and I thought of you!
Oh did we have a great time ridin’! We were such silly girls.
Remember that day we rode bareback all day long? Let me refresh your memory!
We decided to ride bareback becuz the day before we had ridden with the saddles and had gotten them all wet… So we went bareback!
I started out from my house at 8 AM and met you somewhere in the middle between our houses. Remember how we just opened up anyone’s back gates and just rode across? We never give a thought to trespassin’ across the pastures and prairies. We rode back up to your house and back down to Grandpa’s land… back and forth and thru every creek in between.
By about 2ish, my pooter hurt!!
And we stopped to rest in that empty field by OldManEdward's… by the road... you sittin’ there crossed legged and me sprawled out spread eagle… my pooter hurt bad!!
Remember that car? That stopped??
“You hurt?! Do you need help?!”
I don’t know what you did… probably went pale… but I got up really slow holdin’ my back. I acted like standin’ up straight took some effort and you caught on quick and said, “Oh she just got thrown. She’ll be fine!”
I waved at the man and walked over to my horse. I stretched out my back, grabbed a hand full of mane and jumped and kicked my leg over her back to mount… which you wasn’t easy for me! I stuck it first try. And waved again at him… he left.
We laughed and laughed.
We rode almost every day that we didn’t play softball. Takin’ the other girls with us just wasn’t as fun They couldn’t keep up and were afraid of the horses. With good reason, every one of them was thrown off or dumped in the water… Ranger was such a rascal! But to run that white horse up those coal dumps and for him to rear up at the top was just like being the Lone Ranger!! You and I were the only ones he didn’t throw.
Ridin’ was about as much fun as the time we went to the lake. Our first time to sunbathe topless… It may have been OUR last too. I don’t see how I kept from drownin’!! Remember we was out by the “no Wake Buoy”. We tied our bikini tops together and wrapped them around the buoy.
All was right in the world. 16 and tannin’ the TaTas!
Then that boat came by. Circled us 3 times… a couple of men tryin’ to talk us into goin’ with them. All the while you’re in the water tryin’ to get your top untied from mine as I just laid back and let them enjoy the scenery… until you threw my top to me.
Shows over. We paddled back to the swimmin’ area.
And we laughed and laughed.
I miss the laughter.
I miss those days.
I miss our friendship.
We just took different roads in life and grew apart.
And here we are 45 and all is right with the world… You wanna go tan the TaTas??
Love You Dearly With All My Silly Girl Heart,
Lori and me 1979

Sunday, August 08, 2010

The Fallout…

Let just say, that I feel so much better with my laptop than that old slowass Granny desktop… But that’s for later.
There were some questions asked about the BreakUp and other friends, so I’ll start with that.
Yes, there is another couple, Jesse and Rowdy.We’ve only known them for almost 2 years. Roy’s not as willin’ to let other people into his life as I am. We’ve been friends with Loretta and StupidAssEddie for near 15 years. We’ve been close… and then again… not. I have tolerated StupidAssEddie THE ENTIRE TIME!! Jesse works with Loretta. And that’s how I met Jesse. I adore Jesse. She’s a lot like me.
So through out … I typed Thru so much that Through looks totally wrong! But anyway, Thru this whole mess, I’ve been ventin’ to Jesse without tellin’ her the hateful digs that StupidAssEddie has said about her and Rowdy. She knows that Eddie is an asshole and hates her but still… I haven’t repeated certain things. I’m not that person. She’s asked me several times, “why does Eddie hate Rowdy? He’s so likable!”
And she’s right. Rowdy is so easy goin’ and very likable. But I know why. I know “WHY” for a lot of her questions. But I keep my mouth shut. I’m not that person.
When I broke up with the MerryWidow, it was clean. As in every breakup there seems to be a need to blame someone. Roy took the blame for the breakup of me and the MerryWidow. She said almost every time we went to town, “Roy doesn’t want you to take me to town, does he?”  He didn’t give a flip. And I told her that! Every time!!
But she’s as hard-headed as me so Roy took the blame. He didn’t know it. And of course if you don’t know it, how could he possibly have given two shits about it??
So StupidAssEddie wanted to blame me… of course.
I wasn’t present when Roy told them they have been “voted off the Island” so I don’t know everything that was said. I could tell from what Roy told me that Eddie wanted to blame me. And there was no way in Hell that Roy was gonna tell me that!! He told Eddie that “none of us are perfect. And that you are not gettin’ away blameless here.” That Eddie had “sealed his fate when he blew up” over the Crablegs thing.
And without going into all that bullshit again, let me just say I was never in his face rude. I never told him off. I always just smiled and went along just to spend time with Loretta.
I kept hopin’ that if she got out away from him from time to time she would wise up on her own. That she would fight to be independent but still married. Fight to have her friends and do what she needs to do for her career. He pitched the biggest tittybaby fit when she went a conference2 years ago with Jesse and another woman from work… You know one of those “continuing education” things that people have to do. He acted like a totally jackass and she hasn’t went to another.
I never asked her to choose. I’m not that person. I wanted her to stand on her own two feet beside Eddie not 6 steps behind him.
But no. She wants to live in her little bubble with a man that treats her like she is his child. He has to have things his way.
Once, when Roy and I had couples massages for my birthday, we planned to go to the local Japanese Steakhouse too. Oddly enough, Eddie called as we sat in the truck after the massages. He and Loretta were in town too. Roy’s half of the conversation went like this:
“Really? We are fixta go eat at the Japanese Steakhouse.” he said.
Eddie commented something.
“No. Nadine doesn’t want to eat at the Outback.”
Eddie commented something else.
And Roy said, “Hey! It’s her birthday and she gets to pick!”
Roy and I had a fabulous time without them for my birthday dinner.
If Eddie doesn’t get his way, he doesn’t do it. No suckin’ it up and just smilin’ thru it. He is a totally Fuck Head!!
So Roy told them on Saturday that They’re Out. And Loretta texts once me, which I don’t answer… I made my mind up several days before the shit hit the fan that I wasn’t gonna… give her a dose of her own medicine. On Monday am, she called Roy.
She called Roy.
Not me… I wouldn’t have talked to her anyway… but still.
She called him to ask if I would use some incriminating photos against her… in a very mousy voice he could barely hear.
Yes. I have one photo.
She didn’t call him to ask how to right a 15yr old friendship but about the photos.
She thinks I have several. I have one. I deleted the rest.
What does that tell you about her?
What does that tell you about me?
What does she thinks about me?
I’m not that person. And Roy told her that.
“She’s not out to hurt you, she just wants to be left alone.”
 I figure if the photo was sent to me, I can keep it.
Right?
Deleted the ones that I took. But kept the one that was sent to me.
It’s tucked away safely in my slowass granny pc should I need it.
StupidAssEddie is Roy’s boss.
Hurt Roy… I might need it.
I am that person!