Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Takin' A Break From The FarmHouse Saga...

Just a moment to say, I have met some really great people from bloggin'....and I know that we all go thru some really tough things.
The loss of a parent.
The loss of a child.
The health issues struggles we all deal with....whether they be physical or mental.
The ups and downs of marriage.
Thru the good times and the bad.....I'm with you in spirit.
You are never far from my thoughts.... Each and every one of you.

Much Love and Big Hugs.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Be Careful Of What You Wish For...

It wasn't too long after Roy and I married that we started lookin' for a house to buy. We had limits. Jobs limits, Cost limits, and School limits.
Roy could be 25 miles from his assigned area and Our Current livin' situation was in the limit and the girls' school.
But the amount we could afford to pay for a home wasn't in theh right school district!
We searched all over and found an old farmhouse on a hill overlookin' a valley.
PICTURE PERFECT!!!
I fell in love with it the second I saw the kitchen. It is huge!! The cabinets were made from actual wood and particle board!! I wasn't crazy about the floorin' but in time I could change it.
Being a typical old house built in the 1800s the was a core center, 4 rooms, and over the years the house has been added on to here and there. The stairs are hidden and has a door that leads up a narrow staircase....and as I have told you in the past, I have fell down them!! They are slick!! The upstairs rooms, the floors sag. Big Time!! I could place a pencil on the edge of a room and would roll to the center....and they were springy. It was like walkin' on a trampoline.
Roy was not as in love with my dream house as I was.
The first thing he did was level one of the rooms' floor....which meant he had to tear out the ceilin' in the livin' room. It was a mess!! There were dead things in the walls!!!
Dirt and wasp nest was thick. But he had to level that floor, we had a water bed!!
Can you imagine if that sucker had fell thru the ceilin'??!
Another thing Roy found was old wirin'! Who knows when that was put in the house? We kept trippin' the breakers. There was only4 to do the whole freakin' house.
He added more lines and more plug in for the upstairs while the ceilin' was out. Roy can do carpentry work, but electrical... not so much.
One of our many trips to the electrical supply store, Roy told the man what he wanted and asked him all kinds of questions about runnin' the wirin'. The man said, "Sir, I really think, you call this man," and slides a business card to him, "to have your house wired. I do not want you to kill yourself."
Roy told that callin' that man wouldn't be necessary he could do it.
But when I keep gettin' shocked when I used the dryer, he called someone to come in and fix it.
In later years he leveled up the second room, which meant the other end of the livin' room's ceilin' had to be torn out....which lead to the discovery of termite damage from maybe the 50s?
He replaced a window which meant a wall in the livin' room had to be torn out...which lead to the discovery of a hole in the wall that was as big as a basketball!! The only thing keepin' critters from the outside from comin' inside was the crappy sidin'!!! And no insulation to keep out the cold.
So to add insulation...all the walls had to come down....more dirt and more dead things.
And more electrical wirin' and more plug ins...and light switches.
What is it with old houses and the lack of light switches???? and they are NEVER in the right place!!
I have to walk across the kitchen in the dark to the light switch when I come in the backdoor to turn the light on and trippin' over cats the whole way!!

Every time we did some simple repair it turned into a huge freakin' deal!!!
And I don't even have my claw footed bath tub yet!!!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Childhood Dreams...

Roy and I will have lived in this house for 15 years come May 20th.

It's been a trip.

When I was a child, I have always wanted a two-story house. All the rich kids had a two-story house. To me, it was a sign of status.
My dad always wanted to build his own home and knew that I wanted my own room in a two-story house. So he made his own plans around that... Becuz he did what he could be EVERYTHING for his kids. Being a single dad, he busted his ass for his kids. We had motorcycles, go-carts, horses, video games, and a ski boat with all the toys and accessories that go with that. But He died before he could build me my own room in a two-story house. The foundation had been laid but....

And of course me bein' a rural kinda gal, my future home would be in the country.

Not all that hard to achieve.

A two-story farmhouse on some land...the amount didn't matter really. I didn't want my neighbors up my ass but I didn't need thousands of acres either.

I had my dreams.

College, Career, Home, and Kids....and a husband in there somewhere. I'm a modern woman, a man is just someone for shits and giggles, right? I can stand on my own two feet.

That's how I thought I was raised. When in fact I was very sheltered. My father had us, my brother, sister and I, tucked away in the country within a bubble of love and comfort. There was no liars, thieves, or rapist. There was only fun at the lake and camping ....and all the other things we did at home. We knew pain and heartbreak but it was not from anything my daddy did....he was the best.

And then I got pregnant and well you know how that went down.

And I filed away all my dreams in a neat folder and pushed down in that cabinet I keep in the back of my head.... some never to be opened.

I tried College.

I had a job in fast food...not a career for me. I do not have the patients

I had a home that I lost becuz of a lazy bastard. Turns out, shit and giggle men are assholes...which led to Kids.





Then Roy stumble and fumbled into my life.... and you pretty well know how that went down too.

I only asked Roy for two things... a bath tub with feet and to love me forever.

I have 2 claw footed tubs and so much more.



Roy bought me a two-story farmhouse.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Blog Comments...

Thank you to the ladies that commented. I can always count on Gina, Katy, and Angie.
But it's funny, the ones that comment on their own blogs, proved my theory...my unsaid theory....that they do not read other blogs.

I understand maintaining a conversation in the comments and clarifactions.... That's not what I mean. I have asked specific questions. That I never have answered, as far as I'm concerned I feel blown off.

And that's about all I can say about that. There about 10 of my InnerCircle of BlogWorld Friends that actually come to me. It's just those few..... that I don't get.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Etiquette Lesson...

Blog Comments... and how do I do this without hurtin' feelin's.
Which could be a whole etiquette lesson on its own!
Tact, Tone, and Bloggin'... how to be friendly without soundin' like a bitchy know it all.
Which I can't do.

But anyway...
This is directed to those that comment in their own blog. Why?
I don't understand that. Please enlighten me.
I know that bloggers do that...so educate me.
Do you know that once I've read your blog and commented, I do not return to that post?

See and you thought I would be tellin' you how the cow ate the cabbage when in fact YOU will tell me what I need to know.

Easy Peasy!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Seriously!! What The Hell??!!!

Knowin' I wasn't goin' to be able to get Roy to go see Alice in Wonderland with me, he suggested I ask Loretta.
So I text her.
"Would you like to go see Alice in Wonderland with me?"
She text back, "Why?"

What the fuck!?? Why?
Well let's see...
Johnny Depp is in it.
It's something to do while you're on Spring Break.
Neither one of the men will want to see it.
The kids might like it.
And I don't know it's 3D which would be way cool if you are kid....and me.
But no. She said, "Why?"

So now I'm pissed off at her for that, "why". And I text her back about it being 3d and Johnny. She said, "never heard of it."

What the Fuck??!!
What planet does she live on???

Have you ever thought "if I met that person now, would I even be friends with her?"
Which is what I think about a classmate from the past. She is so not fun like she used to be. We used to laugh and do crazy things when we were kids. Now she's so drugged out of her mind that she has no friggin' idea what is goin' on in life outside of her own little pity party.
Which is exactly what I am thinkin' about Loretta!
Would I be friends with her if I met her now?
We do things that Eddie and Loretta do.....not what Roy and Nadine want to do. It's not a two way street at all. Whether it be shoppin' or DateNight, it's when Eddie wants to and where he wants to go. You see, Loretta and I can't go shoppin' without Eddie!
Seriously! No Shoppin!!
No Shoes or Purses or anything until that bastard approves.
I asked Roy what he thought I was goin' to do with her, "drug and fuck her!" And she goes along with Eddie's Bullshit!

So as we walk down the hallway to the BadMovie we walk past a poster with the MadHatter on it, and I said, "That's the movie we should be seein'."

And Loretta said, "I didn't even like the first one."

What the fuck???
She didn't like Disney??
Seriously, WHAT KINDA PERSON DOESN'T LIKE DISNEY!!!????

I'm so over it.
Yes Gina, a break is needed....a long one. Otherwise I will stress myself into a stroke or a heart attack.

And you'll have to excuse me if I seem a wee bit bitchy about all of this, but this is WHY I blog. To Vent!
Plus I'm 3 days over on my period and my EXTREMELY Edgy!!

So I guess I'll just load up and go see Alice in Wonderland Africk'nLone!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Another Chapter In The Saga Of Eddie And Loretta...

Like sands thru an hourglass, so goes the days of lives..... Or shit thru a goose.

So as Roy and I are drivin' away from Eddie and Loretta's house the night of the huge CragLegFiasco, Roy was sadden by the fact that he saw Eddie for the fuckin' asshole that he is, while I was doin' double back flips!!!
NO MORE EDDIE!!
No more pickin' the restuarants.
No more pickin' the movies.
No more pickin' the dates we go to Branson.
No more plannin' OUR LIVES!!!!
I am done!
If I have to leave Loretta alone to be rid of Eddie....so be it.

I AM DONE!!!
I got to go out to eat and I PICKED THE RESTUARANT!!!!!!! And food tasted better. The margaritas tasted better.
I was in heaven.

Roy was sick.

The shit hit the fan on Tuesday and by Friday, Roy was thinkin' up ways to make amends. It didn't matter that I was adament about cuttin' the EddieCancer from my life. By the time CrabLegNight rolled back around, Roy had invited them out to eat....again!
And told them HE WOULD PAY!!!!!
I was so ticked off, I took my happy pill before we left the house. I was shakin', I was so keyed up. I was about to burst into tears over it all. I got the speech to behave and that I didn't have say anything to Eddie.
WHAT THE HELL??!!! I hardly ever say anything to him as it is or even look at him.
Sooo...Why do I feel like I'm the one that did something wrong??
After chokin' down crab... and crow... we spent $150 to maintain our "friendship" and be fuckin' happy about it!!!

So Eddie and Loretta think all is fine.They are just as happy as two pigs in shit. So much so that we were once again invited to out to eat, in a fuckin' blizzard to eat at a restuarant that Eddie picked out and went to see a movie that Eddie picked out!!!! Which was shitty!
Not Alice in Wonderland, in 3d.
Not the lastest Twilight movie.
But CopFuckin'Out!!!


I have been ganged up on....by my best friend and my husband to force Eddie on me.


Roy owes me... Big Time!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I've Been Neutered!!

I was fifth in a line of cars going town at 55mph. And I Didn't Pass Them!!

If a person can have anger issues and needs to be in therapy, can't a person have happy issues? A person can't be all shit and giggles all the freakin' time, can they?
I've been told I have anger issues.
And just becuz I tell someone how I feel about something in a manner that is way less than lady like, why does that mean I have anger management issues? But if I smile at you while I flip you off, it's okay? Or maybe not.

I used to be told all the frickin' time, "stop flippin' people off, you're a pillar of the community and should set a positive examples. If I get called to the Chief's office, you're comin' with me." So I stopped.
Well, now I'm not a pillar and I can't be called to the Chief's to explain why I flipped that county deputy. Becuz he so deserved it!!
Then Roy tells me, "Stop flippin' people off becuz they might be packin' a gun! Road Ragers could be packin'!!"

So there I sit fifth in line and can't pass. If I do, I'll be doin' 120mph by the time I get to the end. So I don't pass.
I don't scream at traffic.
I don't bang on the steerin' wheel.
I follow.
I hate it.
To be a mature person that doesn't speed and drive wreckless is supposed to be a good thing.
Why does it feel so wrong?
I've had my balls cut off.
I don't think I like being a grown up.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Kiss Me! I'm Irish!!

Yeah I know.
There's so much more to tell....but not right now.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Break-Up…

I’ve you told off and on over the past 4 years about Eddie and Loretta. We all agree that Eddie’s a fuckin’ asshole….and Loretta’s a great gal. So I won’t have to go into a lot of details about their relationship. You will be on the same page as me when I tell you this latest development.

Last week, I read in the paper that one of the casinos has all you can eat King crab legs…woo hoo!!! Roy wanted to eat out too. And it’s crab legs!!

Right?

We’re there!!

I added it to my FBStatus knowin’ that Loretta would get the message. She did.

And she wanted to go.

Roy called to invite Eddie…he didn’t want to go.

No matter what Roy said, Eddie balked. Eddie’s a cheapass bastard! He didn’t want pay for the kids to eat at $25 a plate. And he didn’t want to get a babysitter either…those cost money. He wouldn’t dare ask his parents to watch the kids… he catches too much shit from them about goin’ out on a school night and why doesn’t he just take the kids. Remember what happened at RedLobster? But Loretta wanted to go with us. Roy said, “tell him to stay at home with the kids, we’ll come and get you.”

She said, “Eddie won’t go for it. It’s too expensive.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

She just laughed.

And hour passed and she text Roy, “Come and Get me.”

I walked in with a smile on my face ready to do what I had to do….Eddie was sittin’ in his chair and IT was obvious that he was pissed! He didn’t even look at me. He just kept his head down workin’ at his laptop. I joked about the kids. The girls showed me their pet. I mentioned the house smelled like Mexican food. Loretta stood behind Eddie. She told the kids what they needed to do before bed and she started for the door.

Roy came in and started teasin’ Eddie about doin’ his homework. And just as I opened the door to leave, Eddie said, “Where are you goin’ Loretta?”

“I’m goin’ with them.”

“No you’re not. We’ve talked about this and it’s too expensive.”

Roy said, “Hey, I’m buyin’.”

“See. Roy’s payin’ for my dinner.”

“If you go out that door you might as well keep on goin’. ”

I swear to God he never got outta that chair. Makin’ commands from his throne.

She walked back to the bedroom and packed up some clothes. She was leavin’! Roy told him, “Hey, man that’s no way to be.”

“You are messin’ in my marriage. You need to stop. Loretta where do you think you’re goin’?”

“Out.”

“You might as well file for divorce becuz you’re not comin’ back here. Your friends are not good friends if they mess in your marriage!”

I told Roy to come on, to leave. I had heard enough. And I didn’t want to be there any longer. I didn’t do anything except be there for a friend and want to spend time with her. I thought that was what friends were for…how stupid of me to think that!

By the time Roy got to car, he had decided that he no longer wanted to be Eddie’s friend. That was the end. We did nothing wrong. Roy left Loretta there in a room full of bawlin’ kids becuz Eddie was pitchin’ such a fit in front of them. She stayed. And week later, she’s still there. She’ll be there until she wises up.

Loretta texted Roy later that night to let him know that she was okay. And she’s texted me a few times. I told her we would always be her friend and there when she needed us but Eddie has worn out his welcome.

I’m done.

Nobody gets divorced over freakin’ crab legs!! He’s got a problem.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Good Question!!

Yes, I have changed the names of all of the characters and the not so innocent. I want to protect the girls and my family from any backlash that may happen. They too, may not understand everything that I've done or do... And feelin' would be hurt.

When I was a kid, when I did anything goofy or awkwardly trip over something, I was called Edith.
Why? I don't really know?
Lilly Tomlin played a character on Laugh-In that was called Edith Ann. She sat in a huge rockin' chair to make her look like a little girl. And she talked in a little girl voice, tellin' you about her day at school or whatever. And when she was done, she would say, "And That's The Turth! ppppfffftttt"
So that is EdithAnne.... which really does fit her. She's goofy and as klutsy as I am.
She pulled a bag of peas from the freezer and they were open at one end. She spilled the bag of course and sent frozen peas all over the floor. She cracked up, "Mom! I've pea'd all over the kitchen floor!"

EudoraMae... a name I got from Oh Brother Where Art Thou.
I like it.
I even suggested it to her when she was pregnant with her first child. And then we found out it was a boy. She didn't go for Cletis either.

I guess I could have named them Roxanne and Sharona like I wanted to when I was pregnant with them...but that wouldn't have fit in with my Okie roots.
And like real life I stuck with E's for all of them.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

RealWives, ExWives, and Bastards...

My, exhub, EarlLee remarried 3 days before I did....which was 7 months after our divorce was finalized. He married a woman from southern Oklahoma, so she had no issues with family and friends and fittin' in, like I did.
Knowin' EarlLee as I do, I had to ask if he knocked her up becuz he was gettin' married so quickly.
"No! Why are you gettin' married so quickly?"
Becuz Roy's the man I have always wanted....that dream husband I wanted when I was 17.
Becuz Roy's a man that I love.
Becuz Roy's a man that I respect.
Becuz Roy's a man that worships the ground I walk on and isn't afraid to show it.
Becuz Roy's a man that is responsible.
Becuz Roy's a man that is stable.
Becuz Roy's a man that doesn't lie to me.
Becuz Roy's a man!
And then I followed up with, "Do I need to speak with your new wife and give her the straight scoop on you?"
"DON'T YOU SAY ONE WORD TO HER!!!"

It doesn't matter, she hates me. And I don't care.
She's one of those women that is super sweet to your face and when your back is turned she's throwin' daggers at you.

With good reason... I'm the ExWife.
You are by default supposed to hate your husband's ExWife.
I know I do.
That Tide Smellin' Bitch!

Over the next 10 years EarlLee and I fought over child support and his lack of payment. He spent time in jail. I received all of his tax refunds. And we still pretty much fought like two cats in a bag...but over the phone... The one that I broke into bazillion pieces by bangin' it on the wall after talkin' to him.
He and I stopped talkin' to each other when the girls were grown and had their own families to deal with...I have no reason whatsoever to say anything to him. I have gone years without givin' him a thought.
And I'm fixin'ta be in his home with him.

I was civil.
You know I'm a grown up now.
Hush! I am!
There were no hugs or handshakes....which I got from his brothers!
I did however fall right back into a zone I had long been gone from and that was that "I will sling orders at EarlLee" zone.
I couldn't help it. It just came out!
It's just how I am... or was with him.
I HAVE TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO!!
Our daughter was thinkin' about movin' to the country into a very run down shack. I was afraid for her safety and boys'. The house was not something to live in and it needed a lot of work! And I told him a laundry list of things HE WOULD HAVE TO DO for her to live there. It just came out. That bossy side of me just came out.
Suddenly his REAL WIFE needed something, he went off to tote and fetch for her. I realized what I had done. That I may have over stepped some boundaries and she was uncomfortable. He didn't say much to me after that. I think when he was alone with his REAL WIFE, she musta read him the riot act!!
The one time we were alone in the kitchen, he said something to me in a whisper. I barely could make out what he said.
"Speak up Dude! Don't be shy now! I've seen your PeePee!!" is what I wanted to say. But I didn't.

A couple of times when I would scan the room at all the people seein' how badly they all have aged and who is fattest, EarlLee or his Twin brother, I caught him watchin' me....so I know his RealWife was screwed royal that night!!
As we left, there was the standard, "Thanks for coming" said, to which I replied, "I'm so glad you got to see me!"

I managed to get thru it without bloodshed.
So I know I am maturin' ....a bit.

When EdithAnne and I got in the car to go home, I giggled, "Ha ha! I'm still skinnier!"
Talk about Fat Bastard!!!
She cracked up, "oh Mom!"

And we laughed our HappyAss all the home.

Friday, March 12, 2010

And We Laughed Our HappyAsses Off...

So I loaded up EdithAnne and my grandson and headed south. We just chatted and laughed the whole way...it's a longass drive!
An hour from my house to EdithAnne's.
3 from EdithAnn's to EudoraMae's... it's a longass drive that I've made 1000times.

So as we were zippin' down the hwy, I saw the sign for the Creek Turnpike.
One way goes to Broken Arrow...to the right. Which makes no sense to me....Broken Arrow is East which is to my left!
And one way goes to Okmulgee...to the left. Which makes no sense to me.... Okmulgee is west which is to my right!
I want to go to Okmulgee.
And becuz I have a touch of Dyslexia... And NOTHING makes sense...Guess which way I went?

Georgie! I was that close to Broken Arrow!!!
And we just laughed and laughed.

Once we got to EudoraMae's we all loaded up to go to my ExHub's house....in Ada. I haven't been in Ada in 6years. It has changed a lot!!
So I followed EudoraMae to Walmart so she could pick up her cake.
She was in there forever!!
And EdithAnne Being Ever So EdithAnne said, "Is that her car leaving?"
What? There was no way to catch her, so we decided we'd just go to EarlLee's. "EdithAnne, do you know how to get there?"
She's been there right? She should know Where It Is??

No.
She knows landmarks. And I guess she just thought we'd drive around 'til she sees something she recognizes...again...no.
We just laughed and laughed.
She finally had to call her StepMonster to find out where to go...on my phone.

Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnn.....
The last time EdithAnne used my phone to call her StepMonster, she answered the phone like I was callin' and she was dreadin' whatever I had to say....like I've jumped all over her.
I haven't!
Hush!

So EdithAnne says, "It's me. EdithAnne. How do I get to your house?"
We laughed some more.
"Is EudoraMae there?"
Nope. She was STILL at Walmart!!
We just laughed some more.

And we laughed our HappyAsses right to EarlLee's house.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Bit Of History...

The summer before my senior year of high school played out like that song, "Jack and Diane".

"Hold on to 16 just as long as you can, changes comin' 'round real soon to make us women and men."

I was 17 and looking at the future with a boy that didn't finish high school or dump him a go away to college.
I didn't really see myself livin' the rest of my life with EarlLee. I mulled over TexasA&M, University of Colorado, and OklahomaState.
If I stayed in the state, EarlLee would follow me. I didn't really want that.
He was fun to fool around with but not my dream husband by any means.
And all the makin' love in the green grass, caught up to me. I was pregnant.
I took college off the table.
My mom suggest abortion.
EarlLee's dad didn't think his son should feel obligated.
But we did what we thought was the right thing to do, which was marry and raise our baby together.
I was willin' to follow EarlLee to where ever he could find a job.

That was Southern Oklahoma.

He would not live up to his promises.
He would not keep a job.
He would leave me at home and run all over town. I refused to load up EdithAnne in car seat and drag main.
I didn't have any friends. They would not let me in their little groups.
My family lived 250 away. His family was hateful to me.
I was miserable.
We fought like 2 cats in a bag!
I was not a battered woman by any means. I will not tolerate that sorta thing.
And EarlLee knew if he ever raised a hand to me, he would never live to brag about it to anyone.
We were fightin' once, in the bedroom, I got up to leave the room...to walk it off.
He asked me where I thought I was goin', "I'm goin' to get the butcher knife to kill you and cut you up into little bitty pieces and stuff your dumbass down the garbage disposal!"
He locked me outta the room.
He brought home a gun once. It was for my protection becuz he was a trucker and was gone for a weeks at a time....if I was lucky.
I didn't want it in the house. I had little kids in and out of my house all the time I didn't want them to find it.
No. It Had To Go.
He wanted to keep it. So I summed it all up for him, "If you don't get rid of that gun ASAP, we'll get into one of those fights that we have and I'll just have to shoot you with it!"
He got rid of the gun.

For 11 years I struggled with him to take care of his responsibilities and he could not do it.
I tried to go to college once. To better our life, so I struck a bargain with him. If he drove long haul for 4 years while I went to college, he could come home and work local. He agreed.
I managed to get 33 credits hours before we lost our house becuz he would not work while I went to school.
Every time I asked him, "it's time to enroll, are you gonna keep up your end and work? Becuz if you're not, I'll stop going to school and go back to work." and EveryTime, he said to go to school.
And we lost our house... and we moved back to the Tulsa area.

I swore I would NEVER GO BACK TO SOUTHEN OKLAHOMA!!
When his evil grandmother died he could go alone! That woman blamed me for EarlLee's problems! He needed help to support his family.
He asked her once to take him to a job interview and she said no she was too busy. I had to take him to Oklahoma City...40 miles away...and make it back for my 9am class.
Bitch!
She gave me a book once, I have forgotten the title of it. I only glance at it once. She was so proud of her gift. It was a book on how to be a good submissive wife and to be all good with God. I smiled and said thank you.
I was raised right.
And then walked over to the trash can and dropped it in....Bitch!
I was not goin' back!

And that's just scratchin' the surface.
That's not tellin' you about the affairs....his. There were many.

I've been back down south of I40 several times since I made my vow... but not to the EvilGrandmother's funeral!! They won't tell me where the old bat is buried, they know I'll go dance on her grave!

So yes EdithAnne, has to ask if I can tolerate her daddy for one afternoon.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Trip Down South...

My oldest daughter, EdithAnne, emailed me, "Are you going to the party?"

What Party?
If there's a party, I wanna be there!
I'm that kinda gal!

She said, "Well, It's at Dad's and EudoraMae didn't know if you would come? I want to go and I don't want to go alone."

Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnn.....Shit!

Let's weigh this out.
Grandson's Birthday...Good.
ExHub... Bad.
Road Trip with EdithAnne...Good.
ExHub... Bad.
Get to see other Other Daughter and Grandkids... Good.
Have to be nice to ExHub.... Though Forced... Still Bad.
There will be Cake..... Good.

Okay I'm in.

The first thing she said to me when she got into the car was, "Can you and Dad even be in the same room and not kill each other?"

Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnn.......We Shall See.

Betty BadAss Thru and Thru!!

Monday, March 08, 2010

Email Etiquette....

What do you think?

I have turned into one of those people that doesn't care for "Forwarded" jokes.
The good ones sure....like ones I haven't heard before.
But the ones that have been passed around since the dawn of emails and internet...please do not forward them to me.
I have a friend that EMPTIES!! her inbox to me. I just delete them. The cute photos for some reason does not come thru anyway.

But that's now my real question....which is...What do you think about when you email someone and they NEVER answer you back?
It that not the rudest thing?
I sat down and typed out the email, askin' questions that needed to be answered and they NEVER respond!
What the Hell??!!??
Why have an email address if you're not going to use it?
It's not just for order shit online from Amazon.

I have 5 email addresses.
One for this blog and all things VelvetTush.
One for all things VelvetTush on MSN....I have to maintan that ID.
One for the bag business.
One for orderin' shit online from Amazon and other online items.
One for my own personal use...family and friends use that one.

And I manage to respond to all personally address emails that are sent to me.

I know that I'm not the most busiest person, my time is my time but still. I would think that any person with 2 brain cells could do the same thing and reply to me.
I understand busy. I understand that people with productive jobs to do can't drop everything to email me back....But Still.
You managed to forward me umpteen bazillion old freakin' jokes! You could have just as easily hit reply and said, "Sure, I'll call you later."
But No!

What do you think?
Am I outta line in thinkin' I should get a reply to email?


Next time we'll chat about blog comment etiquette.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Betty BadAss...Part 2

The Dumb Bitch!!
Bub's 2nd wife is a dumb bitch.

She and I hate each other. From the first time in like 1993, when she put onions in a dish on the side of the salad to openin' the fridge with the power off this last Christmas....she has felt the wrath. The little things that torque my gears, she has done it!
We grew up with the notion that if you don't like onions in the salad, you pick them out. Other people at the table like them.
You do not stand in front of the icebox with the door open any longer than to reach in and get what you need. You DO NOT stand there and gawk at everything in there.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU OPEN THE DOOR!!
ESPECIALLY WHEN THE POWER IS OFF!
Oh she tries to take me on. She always fails.
She throws a zinger at me, I field it right back.
I don't care that she's disrespectful to me. But she's disrespectful my granny!
And that shit don't fly!
And not only is she lippy but she steals.
Granny can't find something, TheDumbBitch has taken it.
When RubyJune "lost" her high dollar camera, TheDumbBitch found it.
And there are all sorts of things I can list, but you get the point.
And what really pisses me off, is she has my grandpa buffalo'd. He thinks she is the most hard workin' and honest person. He had a problem once with some member of his family, Brother InLaw or something. I don't know the ins and outs of it but the things that sticks in my mind is "I don't deal with liars and thieves."
At Christmas when I had a complete melt down with him when he defended her, sayin' she's such a great person, I said, "Grandpa, You don't deal with liars and thieves! And she's both!"
He just sat there like I was some sorta lunatic.
So you know that this woman will never measure up with me.

And my brother married the dumb bitch!
She ran off his kids.
She's hateful to his family.
Oh boy! She's a keeper!!

But I'm Betty BadAss. All anyone has to say, "Sis is comin' for dinner." and the dumb bitch doesn't show up. Ever.

For those that are way too young and might not know this tidbit...Ice boxes=Refridgators. My grandparents come from an era that actually had blocks of ice to keep food cool, so the term carried over into my generation. My G&G were energy saver way before it was fashionable to be "Green".

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Betty BadAss...

My brother is not one of my most favorite people. He is even more self-centered than I am!
I'da traded him straight up a BabySister before I actually got one. RubyJune totally fit the bill! But he's my brother just the same. I've fought some fights for him when he needed....and when he didn't.
I opened my home up to him when his mother turned him out.
Seriously! She had his stuffed packed the day after he graduated!!
RubyJune is his favorite sister. I know this becuz He introduces us as "The Fun One and The Bitchy One".
I'm the bitchy one ...It's a badge of honor that I wear proudly.

He never had a steady girlfriend in school. The girl we all liked, he quit datin'.
The one he finally settled on and had two children with was a bit backward by our standards. And she wasn't the best homemaker, or cook, and she did things that we didn't approve of....I say we, Me and RubyJune.

His Wife pissed me off one day and I told him that he should pack her shit in garbage bags and put her lazy ass on a greyhound and send her back to her podunk town she came from!
She wasn't happy about that!
Since I was her babysitter while she finished school, she hurt me the only way she could. She made Bub take BubJr to Her Sister!!!
And that made me cry. I love BubJr!!
Which pissed off RubyJune! You don't make her sissy cry!
And she cried to Mom! Bub will do anything his momma says!
Mom rimmed him out, "You go get that baby and take him back to your sister right now! Don't you ever make your sisters cry!"
And he did.

What His wife wanted was Tough Shit!
The Sisters Come First!
He wasn't gettin' any more sisters!
Nor are we gettin' any more Bubbas either. We stick together!
I told my exhub, "RubyJune comes first. You however, can be replaced. I can't replace HER!"
And he was replaced.


RubyJune hated that Bub's wife wore HIS letter jacket.
HATED IT!
He had earned that jacket being a left guard, it was his. Not for her to wear.
He wore it in the middle of August to have his class photo taken in the middle of the football field for the year book, he was so proud of it! Everyone else was in shorts and sandals and there was Bub in that letter jacket.
RubyJune stole it and told Bub his wife lost it!
His Wife was so scatterbrained she thought she had really lost it when the dust settled.
But I had it.
I moved 4 times with his help. And I had to move the jacket around in secret to keep him from seein' it.
After he finally saw the light and packed her shit in garbage bags and put her on a greyhound back to podunk, I gave it back to him for Christmas. He was so happy to have it back, he didn't care we took it. He was just thrilled to have his letter jacket back after 5 years!!

I have since apologized to his Now ExWife. We were mean to her.
I have not fussed up my part in hidin' the jacket. I haven't grown up that much!

His current wife....the one he recently married and announced it on Facebook....the dumb bitch....well. She's a trip.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Life Is Good...

But pretty slow at the moment.
I can't tell you much about Roy's new job. Again it's a government job just like the other... and I can't tell you anything about the old one. Defiantly Good stuff!! But mostly becuz people get all excited...and not in a good way.
Though he comes home some days all ruffled up and rantin'! The more he does it the more he feels comfortable with it, the less he bitches.
Well, that's exactly true either....becuz he bitches more from lack of sleep.
That will work itself out too.

The bag business has come to a halt. I tried.
If you want something, just ask.
Times are tough...So I'll move on.

I Text Now.
Nobody called me before....and guess what?
Nobody texts me either!!
Roy decided he wanted UsSellular to take their payment directly from the bank and I wound up with a new phone and text package!!
And that chick was on the phone!
There was no cleavage involved!!

Wait!
Back the Truck Up!!
The TVChick just said, "Most people don't know that white bread is wheat bread..."
What the Hell?
Who are these DumbAss People???
What exactly do they think it's made from???
Cotton???
Seriously! Who are these People???
Must be those people that do not know Right on Red!!

I learned a great deal about how you all feel about photos. I'll be more gentle with friends from the past...family though is still fair game. Next time, we'll chat about emails.

'til then.....Big Okie Hugs!!