Thursday, December 16, 2010

My Bad MoJo…

I’ve tried to tell you I have no luck. I do not gamble becuz I can’t stand to lose money. That’s a pair of cute shoes or a new purse! I do not enter contest becuz I will not win and that just makes it harder for everyone else who might actually win something. And I don’t need to waste my time by enterin’.

Well.

The CompanyChristmasParty was last night. I was not too thrilled to go to it. We didn’t go to CopParty, why do this one? Okay. There was one but it was just the troop and not the whole state or anything. No drinking. We had good steak but we had to pay so much to go to the CountryClub… It wasn’t one of wild parties everyone tells those stories about all year long.

The only other OfficeParty was for HellMart. Yes, EarlLee worked once. At HellMart. But they frown upon employee’s stealin’… go figure!

Have you ever been blackballed by anything? Or Any One??

I have. You get used to it after awhile. That could be why I set off the HellMart Security Alarms now! I’m still on the list.

Anyway…

Hellmart ChristmasParties are no different than Cops… with children and door prizes. But no booze or LittleSusie RottenCrotch doin’ my husband in the bathroom. Oh wait that was at work!! Not the ChristmasParty. What was I thinkin’??

So I wasn’t real thrilled to go this party. And mostly, becuz of StupidAss Eddie and Loretta.

Eddie hasn’t talked directly to Roy in long while. He will talk at him. And talk about Roy with the guys while Roy is standin’ right there. We hadn’t taken 2 steps in the buildin’ when Roy’s phone rings… Eddie said, “I saved you some seats.”

And Roy says to me, “Be nice.”

I sat next to Loretta. She attempted to chat with me and I was nice but I wasn’t gonna give her any more than that!

While sitting there, a man came up to talk to Eddie and Eddie mentioned Roy, which perked up Roy’s ears, “what did I not believe? Tell me. What did I not believe?” But of course Eddie wasn’t talkin’ to Roy so he never answered him.

After we were LITERALLY the last 2 people in THE buildin’ served, we ate cold ham and tators. I was so ready to go. The first round of prizes were given out and of course Roy’s name wasn’t called. We do not have that kind of luck. We have bad mojo.

The Scooter Evacuation Plan was put into action and I text Roy “Daddy, It’s time to come home. Love Scooty.” … which made him laugh. I think next time, I’ll have to get one you that have my number to text Roy as Scooter… Becuz it would be so funny. He had told me earlier in the evening not call him while we there in that big room with all those people becuz my ringtone is “You tell ‘em I’m comin’ and Hell’s comin’ with me!”

He gets so embarrassed.

But. He said if his named gets called for a prize, I was to call him so he could have that playin’ as he walked thru the audience… men!

Anyway…

I was ready to go. I had all the Christmas singin’ and joy I needed and it was agreed on by the whole table that all the prizes were given out so we boogied.

I almost said to Roy that that ShitAssEddie would call him fibbin’ about winnin’ a prize but we left so… it’s gone.

And I’ll Shit and Fall Back in it if that Bastard didn’t call!! To say Roy had won the grand prize for the night!!

Lie like a dirty rug!!

And we got the call from the Deacon… Roy’s really good Cop Friend, his wife also works for the Company!

OH MY GOD! Roy really did have his name drawn. But becuz he wasn’t there someone else took it home. A 42 inch flat screen TV!!!

If we had stayed, his name wouldn’t have been called… EVER!

Shit!

Beside, what would we do with another TV?

3 comments:

The Gaelic Wife said...

Damn luck. But it was better to go than to have to sit there. Right???

Katy said...

I don't have good luck either.

I would just consider that the price you had to pay to get away from Eddie and Loretta.

And I have a big TV, but I always find myself watching the smaller one because it's across from the comfiest spot in the house. Go figure.

MizAngie said...

At the current time, I have the distinct feeling that life has blackballed me. Ugh.

Katy - either move your tv or your comfy spot. Big tvs ROCK.