Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Maps, GPS, And Me…

I learned to read maps at an early age. When Daddy and us kids took trips, he would give me the map and say, “this where we are.” and point to it. “And this is where we are going.” and point to it. He would show me the road we would be takin’ and off we’d go on our adventures. When we got to the closest town on the map from our startin’ point, Daddy would ask, “what’s the next town?” And every town we came to, he would ask what the next town was…until we arrived at our destination… and that’s how I learned read a map.

And since then I have always been the navigator. People have doubted my skills… becuz I’m blonde but have had to step off becuz I know how to get us to where we’re going!

Roy has no sense of direction. NONE!

He gets so turned around it’s just sad. He will argue with me about where places are and what direction we’re going only to be proven dead wrong.

How he ever got out of Vietnam I’ll never know? I wasn’t there to tell him how!!

And now everyone has GPS. I’m the navigator! What the Hell do I need one of those things for??

I can see that it has a place. Like if I need to know where a gas station is or a restaurant, I could look it up.

So we bought one. Next time we go to Galveston, it will be so handy.

And I’ve used it to go to Granny’s Church… I did my best to jack with it! I know the route by heart.

I did not turn where she said and she had to recalculate several times. I expected her to say, “You Dumb Bitch! I told you to turn back there!!”

I have watched the little car as I sped off from a stop sign, I swear to you it looks like it fishtailed!!!

And I didn’t!!

And It knows how fast I’m drivin’!!!

Well sorta.

I called Roy, “Honey!! This thing says I’m drivin’ 90!! There is no way I’m drivin’ 90!! I’m only doin’ 87!!! That’s not right!!!”

He was hung up on the fact that I was doin’ 87 not the fact that the GPS thinks I’m doin’ 90 and that it might be broken or something. I was on the flat road on the turnpike so I was only like12 over the limit… give me a break.

Which lead me to my next thought… what will it do when I hit 100??

“Slow Down You Dumb Bitch!!”

3 comments:

The Gaelic Wife said...

Your speed limit is 75??? I don't think I've ever seen a 75 mph speed limit. BTW, we call her Bitching Betty in my household.

Impulsive Addict said...

You are hilarious! I ♥ my GPS. It's built in to my SUV and I use it all the time. Like you, I'm the one with good direction sense...not the hubby. He's horrible. I guess that's what happens when you grow up in a small Michigan town of 100 people. Poor guy.

DavidShag said...

I can find anyplace so long as you give me a street address and number. Do NOT give me landmarks, or the number of cross streets between A and B. Oddly I have a pretty good sense of direction anywhere but in the area I grew up in. It seemed that a house SHOULD face north and I always sort of thinnk is did, but ours faced south. To this day, I usually instinctively head east to get to Buffalo and west to get to Syracuse. And I just saw a 75 mph limit sign from the train last week as I passed thru Nevada. Even the natives seem to realize that is such a depressing state that folks need to get out as fast as possible. Not depressing because of the deficit or job situation, but because the 'scenery' is so morbidly beige and lumpy, puctuated by billboards of no wit or interest. No grandeur, no color, no visual interest. And where there is something man-made, no taste.