Just to refresh your memory, after Eddie shit his pants over the crab legs, the followin’ week, we treated them to crab legs.
I paid for them to eat crab while I ate crow.
I was so keyed up over being forced to go out with them, that I was visibly shakin’… It didn’t help the situation that Roy kept sayin’, “Calm Down.” The more he told me to calm down the madder I got… why do men think that way?
And now I’m payin’ for mani’s, pedi’s and massages.
Reward someone for bad behavior… right.
Roy was all like, give it chance. You’ll have fun. I don’t mind payin’… blah blah blah!
We had supper with Eddie, Loretta, and kids. When Loretta got me alone, she said she asked Eddie but he didn’t say anything.
He’s workin’ on it.
Workin’ on what??
Being a good friend?
Being a good husband?
Being a good father?
Being a human being?
And then Loretta said, “you ask him.”
What the Hell??
And I don’t think it clicked in my head until just that moment, but she was usin’ me to fight her battles with him. I had to ask him permission. It was like crab leg night all over again! She wanted me to come and get her but I had to ask him for permission… For Her!
Oh yeah, he workin’ on it!!
My last nerve!
I waited for the right moment when Roy could back me up. “I need to know if we’re doing this thing so I can make the appointments.”
He took a deep breath… like it was hard for him! “I guess so.”
My dad used to say that… I guess means yes!
Roy told him he was doin’ the right thing.
ON MY DIME!
I have a salon in mind that Roy and I went to for my birthday one year. It’s posh and they do a great job. They make a person feel comfortable and that’s the main goal… right?
I sent Loretta a link to their website so she would know where I was planning to go… and luckily for me they had a special! A massage, mani and pedi or a massage, facial and salt scrub…. sign me up for the facial and salt scrub!!! And that’s what I told Loretta. She said that Eddie didn’t feel comfortable about her havin’ a massage. So she would just have a mani, pedi, and acrylic nails.
Are You Fuckin’ Kiddin’ Me???? Acrylic Nails??? Son of a Bitch!!!!!!
But if she wasn’t getting’ the massage… okay, I reasoned with myself.
I made the appointments.
When Roy got home everything went wonky!!! He just couldn’t believe that Eddie would be so immature about Loretta havin’ a massage.
DUH! I did!!
He called Eddie and told he was fuckin’ up! That he needed to lighten up and stop tryin’ to control the whole thing. And Eddie Said, “Don’t Push My Buttons!”
Well you know that washed all over me wrong! Push His Buttons!!??!! How many times I have been so stompin’ mad that I couldn’t see straight over StupidEddie and his Antics!!??!!
And it didn’t sit well with Roy either!
So just exactly what has Eddie been workin’ on??
His personal growth?? I don’t think so!!
And then Loretta called me the next day to say she wanted to sign up for the massage… and mani, pedi and those freakin’ acrylic nails!!!!
ON MY DIME!!!
So I asked Roy, “I suppose that I have to pony up for lunch too?”
He smile that goofy grin that says, “sorry but…”