Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Whole Reason…

Roy loves to hunt. I’ve told you that many times. He hunted with his ex-family and when he divorced them, there went his hunting fun.

I told he didn’t need to ditch them just becuz he wasn’t married to their daughter, that’s just silly. He was afraid that they wouldn’t be so forgiving. Some People need to practice what they preach! Forgive and Forget!

But anyway, he didn’t have a place to hunt. Over time, he struck up a friendship with StupidAss Eddie, or he came with my friend and we just put up with him is more to what happened.

Eddie said Roy could hunt. Roy was over the moon!

What Eddie didn’t realize is just how much Roy loves to hunt and that Roy has the good toys. All the neato hunting stuff that men use to hunt proper… Eddie did not.

And everything with Eddie is a competition. EVERYTHING! So of course hunting turned into a competition… who could get the biggest rack and spend the least amount of money. Meaning Eddie used his cheap crappy guns and gear. He had good deer but he was more picky about what he “harvested”. Roy didn’t care about the rack, he wanted to make a good shot and put meat in the freezer.

So this year, Roy made a great shot on a little buck that had one antler missing. One Shot One Kill. He sent me a photo of it. Right behind the ear!

He sent the same photo to Eddie. And he said, “are you not proud of the rack? How many points?” Not one word about the shot. And then Eddie said, “So I guess you’re done hunting.”

Pissed Roy Off Smooth! He can still shoot a doe. But No!!

Roy gutted the deer and loaded it up. Drove over to Eddie’s house, took his gate keys and tied them to Eddie’s door.

Done! No more hunting… the only reason to be “friendly” was to hunt.

4 days without a word from Eddie. I didn’t even get a text from Loretta about Thanksgiving or my birthday… Done.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Letter Number 14…

To someone I’ve drifted away from…

Drifted away from??

I’m more apt to jump in boat and paddle as fast as I can away from them!!

But I will make this one a confession… do not judge me.

To my love…

When I first laid eyes upon you, you peeked my curiosity. And I was drawn to you.

I began to spend a lot of time with you, ignorin’ my responsibilities.

People noticed.

Some snickered, some shook their heads, some were confused and some understood.

I could tell you anything. Everything. You Were My World.

But there was Roy. I would have to tell him about you. I was so scared.

Would he be hurt?

Would he make me stop?

Would he understand why I needed you?

I just couldn’t hold back the tears when I told him about you. But he needed to know. I couldn’t keep my secret any longer.

But Alas, He was not the reason I have drifted away from you. He understood my need for you. He just held me, rocking me, and said, “silly girl, People read this?”

I am sorry, my lover, my second world, my dearest blog.

But I need to farm.

Roy understands the farming addiction and I beg you to understand too.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Drive safely!
 Eats lots of food!
Its the only time of year Granny makes her stuffing so eat up!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Maps, GPS, And Me…

I learned to read maps at an early age. When Daddy and us kids took trips, he would give me the map and say, “this where we are.” and point to it. “And this is where we are going.” and point to it. He would show me the road we would be takin’ and off we’d go on our adventures. When we got to the closest town on the map from our startin’ point, Daddy would ask, “what’s the next town?” And every town we came to, he would ask what the next town was…until we arrived at our destination… and that’s how I learned read a map.

And since then I have always been the navigator. People have doubted my skills… becuz I’m blonde but have had to step off becuz I know how to get us to where we’re going!

Roy has no sense of direction. NONE!

He gets so turned around it’s just sad. He will argue with me about where places are and what direction we’re going only to be proven dead wrong.

How he ever got out of Vietnam I’ll never know? I wasn’t there to tell him how!!

And now everyone has GPS. I’m the navigator! What the Hell do I need one of those things for??

I can see that it has a place. Like if I need to know where a gas station is or a restaurant, I could look it up.

So we bought one. Next time we go to Galveston, it will be so handy.

And I’ve used it to go to Granny’s Church… I did my best to jack with it! I know the route by heart.

I did not turn where she said and she had to recalculate several times. I expected her to say, “You Dumb Bitch! I told you to turn back there!!”

I have watched the little car as I sped off from a stop sign, I swear to you it looks like it fishtailed!!!

And I didn’t!!

And It knows how fast I’m drivin’!!!

Well sorta.

I called Roy, “Honey!! This thing says I’m drivin’ 90!! There is no way I’m drivin’ 90!! I’m only doin’ 87!!! That’s not right!!!”

He was hung up on the fact that I was doin’ 87 not the fact that the GPS thinks I’m doin’ 90 and that it might be broken or something. I was on the flat road on the turnpike so I was only like12 over the limit… give me a break.

Which lead me to my next thought… what will it do when I hit 100??

“Slow Down You Dumb Bitch!!”

Monday, November 22, 2010

Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen…

Nobody knows but Jesus… well okay everyone knows about my PC problems!

I have an HP that is 6 years old. I've crippled along with it the last 3 years. It’s sooooooo slow. Roy, spoilin’ me as he does, told me he’d buy me a laptop after we took care of other more pressin’ things, like tires for his truck and my car, and a dishwasher, and a new toaster.

Yes a new toaster. It’s like everything we have decided to die at once. The microwave, the AC, we had to roof the house, and let’s not forget we had to replace the black powder rifle! We bought Roy new glasses… which I think is the real reason he had such a bad time huntin’ the last two years but if he wants to blame the guns… fine.

So we go down to the BestBuy and let them fix me up with a brand spankin’ new Toshiba laptop straight from Japan!!! Well okay it says China on the bottom but still. If you are gonna buy electronics they MUST COME FROM JAPAN! I went down once to buy a DVD player… my first… and I turned every box upside down to find out where it was made and when I found “Made in Japan” I bought that sucker! Damn the price!  That Panasonic Never let me Down!

Hell’s Bells, Our beloved Toyota was made in Japan… not like the newer models. Though funny thing, Roy will not buy a Japanese Motorcycle!!! Silly I know!!

But I have a Toshiba Laptop. It lived for 6 months and blink! It went black! The motherboard had to be replaced. Just like that! I didn’t drop it. I didn’t do anything that would make the motherboard to be damaged!! When I got back from the shop, I noticed the battery didn’t work like it had before goin’ in to the GeekSquad but didn’t really think to run it back in to them. No. I let it go until one day it went black again! 3months later another motherboard!!

I’m not happy. At. All.

So I’m back to the GrannyHP while the laptop is in the shop. I was sittin’ at the desk farmin’ with the cats playin’ under my feet. No biggy. They do it all the time.

And the GrannyHP went black!

What the Hell??!!!

One of the cats stepped on the button on the battery backup thingy and cut the power off. HUGE BIGGY!!!!

I couldn’t get it to come back on! It was stuck in a constant loop of the black screen that says, “your pc was shut down and you may open in 28secs…”

So I loaded her up and took the old GrannyHP to the local nerds… not the GeekSquad. They have long lines and one of my pc’s already. Let’s not confuse the issue.

Roy came home and said, “Let’s just go buy another desktop.”


He was not. And he did!

I brought it home and hooked it up and sat down to update everything… all the stuff the GeekSquad didn’t do that I like to do… and that sucker froze up!!!!

After 15 minutes!!!


Imagine my frustration!!

Back to the store, for a completely new desktop!! Even the GeekSquad couldn’t figure out what its problem was, he said get a new one!

So here I sit surrounded by 3 computers… what do I do with 3??


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Letter Number 13…

To someone you wish could forgive you…

Me?? Forgive me??

That would imply that I have done something wrong.

Oh Wait.

Dearest Scooter,

I so very sorry I stepped on your tail. I know it hurt. You know I didn’t mean it.

Please forgive me.


PS: Watch where I step.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Someone Has A Sugar Daddy!!!

Spa Day!!
I had a good time. Though I was pissed about the acrylic nails. And those bastards took 2 hours! I was done at 11:30 and Loretta wasn’t done until 1:30!!!!
My massage was hurtful. The gal said, “you sure have some knots!”
Let’s see what has caused that… all the drama that is Eddie and Loretta and Roy fallin’ in a hole. Uhm, Yep! I’ve got some tension!
But the thing that pissed me off the most was lunch.
I took Loretta to the OliveGarden. I told the waitress to bring a sample of the Moscato wine for Loretta to taste. You’d thought I told the waitress to give Loretta a roofy so I could fuck later!! I thought Loretta and I were gonna have a knock down drag-out over a sample of wine.
Loretta held her hand up, “no I don’t like wine.”
Both the waitress and I said almost simultaneously, “Oh this is good wine and it’s super sweet. You’ll like it.” 
What I said was more put out than what the waitress said. I was getting’ frustrated with Loretta. And I wondered what the big deal was becuz I was drivin’ and I ordered a tea. She could have a glass of wine and lunch and not be fazed by it. Though she’s a lightweight. But still.
I wanted to enlighten her, broaden her horizons. Make her into a well rounded person.
That’s not gonna happen.

The waitress poured her about half a glass. And Loretta was like “that’s some sample!”
“It’s good, you’ll like it,” we both said.
“I can smell it!” Loretta said like if she can smell it, that makes it strong or something.
When she said that, I wanted to grab the glass and throw it in her face and say “Duh! Its called a bouquet you stupid bitch!”
She’s a school teacher that prides herself with teachin’ kinneygartener how to read and yet she has no knowledge of current events, whether it be Hollywood or WashingtonDC. She thinks its cool to live life in a bubble of ignorance. That’s just sad.

And the second she put lips on the glass and tasted it, “Yum that is good!”
I think I said it out loud, I know I was thinkin’ it, “No Shit!”

And for the life of me, This is something I don’t understand. Loretta thinks it’s okay to tell people that Roy paid for her spa day… like he’s her sugar daddy.
I’m the one. It’s my name on the credit card receipt. I’m the one that bought her motorcycle gloves, good bras, lunches, and her spa day.
I have had enough.
It’s been a month since all these events took place and I haven’t talked to her since.
I will not extent an invitation for her to go do anything. Eddie has taken to be an asshole to Roy for no apparent reason and I thrilled by it. The less we have to do with them the better off Roy and I are.

No more drama. I have blocked her from my status updates becuz while I was in Texas she took it upon herself to monitor me. One day when she came home from work, she took her laptop out to Roy who was workin' on her house, and she said, "would you like to know what your wife is doing?" And ratted me out about going to the biker bar!!
Whatta ho!
Roy didn't care. But I think I should be the one to tell him no matter what it is... Bitch!

And another thing... the little boy cried through the meetin' with the SoccerPeople and was punished by missin' 3 team functions. Which amounts to 2 practices and 1 game... big whoop! Do I think the little brat needs to be labeled a sex offender? no. But he needs to know that is not acceptable behavior!

And that is the end of StupidAssEddie and Loretta story... it's time! We need to get back the humor that is Me and Roy.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Accident, Agility And Roy…

I know we are takin’ the long route about the barn with this StupidAss Eddie and Loretta story but some things need to be told and details are needed becuz when they make the movie of my life, These Things Will Be Important! Okay maybe a sitcom is more my style.
2 days before Loretta and I were to have our Girls Spa Day, an accident happened.
I hadn’t been home from grocery shoppin’ at HellMart 30 minutes, when Roy called me. “I’ve been in an accident. I’m fine.”
That’s what he always says. Cuts to the chase and no sugar coatin’!
When he was in a couple of wrecks in his CopCar, “I’ve been in an accident. I’m fine.”
Or when he was in a shoot out, “I’ve been shot at but I’m fine.”
When he had his ankle crushed, his boss came to me at work and said, “Roy’s been in accident. He’s fine.”
This time, Roy said, “I’ve never seen so much blood in my life!”
Holy Shit!!!!!!
And No Sugar Coatin’!!!!!
Very calmly, I asked him if he wanted me to go to the ER. He said no. He always says no.
I never went when he was a cop. In his mind, I didn’t need to be there. Mostly becuz, he’s embarrassed that the accident even happened in the first place. Whether it his fault or not, whether he was shot or not, he’s embarrassed. Men!
When his ankle was crushed, he had to have surgery… a plate and screws had to be put in… He didn’t want me to stay with him overnight after surgery.
But now he’s in the ER and There’s Blood… lots of it. I got in the car and went anyway. Damn his pride, I needed to be there,
What Happened??
The CityBoys were diggin’ a hole to repair a sewer leak. And they have safety equipment that goes in the hole to help prevent a cave-in. Roy says it looks like a cage. They were done and had loaded the “cage” up and Roy was up on the trailer tyin’ it down. When he stepped off the trailer, he stepped backwards one step too far and fell into the hole. He hit his head on a rock on the way down and landed on a sewer pipe on his right backside… kinda twisted like. He was hip deep in sewer with an open head wound gushin’ blood!
We all know that a head wound bleeds profusely. Roy said, it looked like it was just shootin’ out. I envision cattle de-hornin’. When the horn it cut off blood shoots out in pulses.
Okay too gross.
When I got there, Roy was in clean clothes and had a bandage on his head waitin’ for the doctor to look at him. They were deeply concerned that becuz of where the head wound was… on the temple… that he should have an MRI and some X-rays to see if he had cracked ribs. Blood work and a Urinalysis to make sure there wasn’t any kidney damage.
And there sat StupidAss Eddie.
 I was confused at why he was there. Sure it was a job related matter and sure he was Roy’s friend. I do not feel that Eddie is mature enough to separate the two positions of being Roy's boss and being Roy's friend. Eddie didn’t show up at the hospital when Roy had his ankle fixed. And he didn’t show up to check up on him and hear the story of the shootout. Some of the YoungPupCops did! Eddie did not.
And then I was left alone with him while Roy was off havin’ his MRI and X-Rays done. I took out my phone and sent messages out to Facebook and Twitter about Roy’s condition. Answered questions about him.
I was in my own little world.

There’s a line from Tombstone that fits every situation in life and the one that comes to mind is when Doc Holiday sees Johnny Tyler comin’ at Wyatt Earp with a shotgun.
“Why Johnny Tyler?! Mad Cap!…” Doc and Wyatt begin to speak to each other as Johnny Tyler just stands there stupefied that he just took a beat down from Wyatt Earp and lived.
When Doc turns to him and says “Why Johnny, I forgot you were there. You may go.”
Eddie had been talkin’ to me the whole time and I just ignored him. The one sided conversation turned to “The Incident”.
And I swear to All That Is Good and Holy, Eddie said this, “The Alleged Incident.”

That Son of A Bitch!!! Piece of Shit!!

He has failed his daughter.

So what exactly is he “workin’ on”?
It’s not being a good father.
And by the way, we didn’t go to Branson for 2 reasons, One being Roy’s accident. And the other, Eddie didn’t want to spend the money to take the kids to SilverDollarCity!
But I’m payin’ for his wife’s spa treatment… I’m not impressed by his personal growth so far.

Roy had 3 stitches put in his head and returned to work the day Loretta and I went to the spa. He was sore as he could be and still 3 weeks later uses a heatin’ pad on his side. His head wound healed nicely. I was worried that he had some brain injury becuz he couldn’t remember certain things. Eddie and Loretta were afraid that Roy was losin’ some of his agility… he fell in a hole. What does that have to do with his graceful catlike abilities??

OOOOh wait, see.
I forgot something.
Roy fell in the hole on a Tuesday. He helped Eddie and EddieSr work on the bailer on Sunday. And becuz EddieSr is old and Eddie is a chickenshit bastard, neither could climb up on top of the bailer to loosen a bolt. So Roy did. Roy pushes and pushes on the bolt and when it broke over from the full force of his body weight, he fell from the top of the bailer…. landin’ on his feet though a bit awkwardly. And rollin' over to his back.
And laid there.
Workin' shit out.

So Eddie thinks that becuz of Roy’s age, he is losin’ his agility… Doing something for him that he’s a coward to do.
Ungrateful Bastard.

With Friends like them, Who needs Enemies?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Huntin’, Men, And The Incident…

Yep, It’s deer season. I told Roy I would buy him a new black powder rifle becuz his old trusty Daniel Boone style has let him down the last 2 years.
So off to the BassPro Shop we go… the mothership of BassPro’s… the one in Springfield Mo! The Grandaddy!! You all know I’m not a fan of Bass Pro. But Roy was just a happy as a pig in mud! And that’s all that matters.
When we got home with it, he cleaned it and fired it and cleaned it and fired it… it’s what men do. And he pulled out his old blackpowder and cleaned it and fired it and cleaned it and fired it… And came to the conclusion that it was just needed to be cleaned to fire accurately.
What?? Clean more??? You have got to be kiddin’ me??!!! He cleans it after every shot!! But whatever… he takes both guns with him when he hunts. He’s happy and I have deer in the freezer… Win Win.
Roy called Eddie to make sure who all was huntin’ openin’ day of black powder when the conversation turned to “The Incident.”
And Roy started pacin’ the floor! I knew that StupidAss Eddie was tellin’ bad news.
Turns out They didn’t contact the police and they were gonna let the soccer people handle it.
Now that is just all kinds of color of wrong.
And Roy said, “Man, of all the things you get riled up about, This is something you should be mad over! Your daughter was assaulted!”

So let me refresh your memory: Eddie is uncomfortable with his wife havin’ a harmless massage. But his daughter can be assaulted at SoccerPractice.

What is fucked up with this picture??
Stay tuned… There’s more.
There’s always more.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The Incident…

Now here’s where things get a bit fuzzy for me.

But what I do know about “The Incident.”

But Some History First… When I was a preteen, I was assaulted.

At School.

Durin’ a Boy Scout function.

I didn’t realize it at the time that it was a crime. I was 11 or 12 and I thought that was the way boys acted.

It was okay for them to grab girls.

In the Dark.

In the Bathroom.

The boy was the brother of a boy in my brother’s boy scout pack.

I was not traumatized by it. I can recall it as clear as day but I don’t carry it around with me like a piece of bad luggage.

At the time, I didn’t know it would happen to me several times in the future… with a couple of sexual assaults.

I thought that was the way boys were… until I met TheThug. After that, I didn’t have to worry about being grabbed, de-pants or raped again. And when he left high school, he assigned a “underling” to be my body guard.

Problem solved.

These things happen. More than people think. So many young people do not speak up about it.

I didn’t.

Why? I don’t really know. Mostly I think becuz I didn’t want the boy or boys to get into trouble… Boys will be boys.

Even I believed it… then.

Now… I have a whole new attitude.

Eddie and Loretta believe that if they put their daughter on teams with boys her sports ability will improve. The boys will make her feel the need to compete and not sit on the bench playin’ patty cake with the girls.

Loretta called me one evenin’ just fit to be tied!! She needed to vent and she called me.

Her daughter was de-pants’d at soccer practice. Her daughter was mortified!!! And of course she didn’t want to ever go back.

“Did you call the police?” No.

“That’s Assault! You need to contact the police.” It’s the coach’s son.

“So? Were there witnesses?” No.

But we all know WITNESSES are not needed!!

Especially not when you have a 10 year blubberin’ about havin’ her nekked fanny out at soccer practice!!

“Are you prepared to pull her from the team?”

Now this is where I just wanna slap a hairlip on her… she said, “no.”

“Loretta this your daughter and she has just been assaulted and humiliated and you want to keep her in a situation where she doesn’t want to be becuz of a stupid sport? Do not fail her. Call the police station in the mornin’ and get this tended to immediately.”

I thought it was sound advice.

Bare with me… There’s more.

But I want to make sure I have everything in order.

I had a fleetin’ thought once that I might not be paintin’ a fair picture of StupidAss Eddie and Loretta but when I’m done with this little tale, you’ll see EXACTLY what I see.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

He’s Workin’ On It…

Just to refresh your memory, after Eddie shit his pants over the crab legs, the followin’ week, we treated them to crab legs.

I paid for them to eat crab while I ate crow.

I was so keyed up over being forced to go out with them, that I was visibly shakin’… It didn’t help the situation that Roy kept sayin’, “Calm Down.” The more he told me to calm down the madder I got… why do men think that way?

And now I’m payin’ for mani’s, pedi’s and massages.

Reward someone for bad behavior… right.

Roy was all like, give it chance. You’ll have fun. I don’t mind payin’… blah blah blah!

We had supper with Eddie, Loretta, and kids. When Loretta got me alone, she said she asked Eddie but he didn’t say anything.

He’s workin’ on it.

Workin’ on what??

Being a good friend?

Being a good husband?

Being a good father?

Being a human being?

And then Loretta said, “you ask him.”

What the Hell??

And I don’t think it clicked in my head until just that moment, but she was usin’ me to fight her battles with him. I had to ask him permission. It was like crab leg night all over again! She wanted me to come and get her but I had to ask him for permission… For Her!

Oh yeah, he workin’ on it!!

My last nerve!

I waited for the right moment when Roy could back me up. “I need to know if we’re doing this thing so I can make the appointments.”

He took a deep breath… like it was hard for him! “I guess so.”

My dad used to say that… I guess means yes!

Roy told him he was doin’ the right thing.


I have a salon in mind that Roy and I went to for my birthday one year. It’s posh and they do a great job. They make a person feel comfortable and that’s the main goal… right?

I sent Loretta a link to their website so she would know where I was planning to go… and luckily for me they had a special! A massage, mani and pedi or a massage, facial and salt scrub…. sign me up for the facial and salt scrub!!! And that’s what I told Loretta. She said that Eddie didn’t feel comfortable about her havin’ a massage. So she would just have a mani, pedi, and acrylic nails.

Are You Fuckin’ Kiddin’ Me???? Acrylic Nails??? Son of a Bitch!!!!!!

But if she wasn’t getting’ the massage… okay, I reasoned with myself.

I made the appointments.

When Roy got home everything went wonky!!! He just couldn’t believe that Eddie would be so immature about Loretta havin’ a massage.

DUH! I did!!

He called Eddie and told he was fuckin’ up! That he needed to lighten up and stop tryin’ to control the whole thing. And Eddie Said, “Don’t Push My Buttons!”


Well you know that washed all over me wrong! Push His Buttons!!??!! How many times I have been so stompin’ mad that I couldn’t see straight over StupidEddie and his Antics!!??!!

And it didn’t sit well with Roy either!

So just exactly what has Eddie been workin’ on??

His personal growth?? I don’t think so!!

And then Loretta called me the next day to say she wanted to sign up for the massage… and mani, pedi and those freakin’ acrylic nails!!!!


So I asked Roy, “I suppose that I have to pony up for lunch too?”

He smile that goofy grin that says, “sorry but…”


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mani, Pedi, And My Credit Card…

The day after I came home from Texas, Loretta wanted to go to lunch. She wanted clear the air.

Holy Shit!

I’m not a rehash person. And I didn’t do anything wrong, it was me that had hurt feelings so I wasn’t about to apologize for anything.

For years, I’ve asked Loretta to go places and do things with me. Whether it be shoppin’ or go for lunch or whatever… that’s what friends do. But my friend’s husband is an asshole and wouldn’t allow her to go.

Allow Her To Go!!

Once I suggested that we go to see Reba when she was at Country Fever. It would be something we all could do. A harmless concert. It’s Reba!!! Eddie sat there and looked me in the eye, held his finger up and swirled it around as if to say “Big Whoop”. I told Loretta, if he doesn’t want to go he can stay home. And she said, “that’s what he’s afraid of. Sittin’ at home while we are out havin’ fun.”

His choice!


So not long after he shit his pants over eatin’ crab legs, and sealed his fate with me, He Allow Her To Go A Casino With A Friend… He didn’t go!!

Let that all sink in… She went somewhere without him. She went to a concert at a casino.

I was crushed! I don’t care that she went with someone else… power to her. I think its super that she got let off her chain. But me, I’m the devil and I can’t go places and do things with Loretta.

And when he wanted to “treat me” and let her go to the Mall with me, I had to let him fuck her in my pool.

That was all she wrote!


And I told Loretta all that. That I was hurt. That it’s not right that he treats me like I’m the devil. She agreed. “He’s workin’ on it.”

Oh Really!

I thought I would just test his personal growth… see how much he had lightened up.

“Let’s get our nails done. A girls day with manis and pedis.” She liked that idea. During the summer, Eddie wouldn’t let her do it with me.

And then I said, “and we can take the kids and go to Branson.” She liked that idea. Eddie didn’t want to take the kids to Branson becuz he would have to A) spend time with them and B) spend money on them. I’ve come to the conclusion that the only reason he wanted the kids was to keep Loretta tied to him.

“And then the men could black powder hunt on the followin’ day. Everybody’s happy.” She liked that idea. Eddie doesn’t hunt with a bow, there’s tree climbin’ involved and he’s a chicken shit bastard that’s too scared to climb the tree. He doesn’t hunt black powder becuz Roy told him his gun is a piece of shit and he’s afraid of it. He doesn’t hunt with a rifle either… scared of the gun. Seriously. Roy had to give him lessons on shootin’.

So we ladies had it all planned out. Girls Day. Family Day. And Man Day!

Roy was home when we came home. And he wanted to rehash it all again to make sure we were all good. I suffered thru it.

“well why didn’t you go get the manis and pedis done today? you have my credit card!”

Loretta jumps all over that! “As long as we have your credit card, let’s get massages too.”


What The Hell Just Happened??!!!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Get Back JoJo!!!

So my mom spent time in the hospital. They ran all sorts of test but couldn’t come up with one single thing that caused her to go off her nut. They think maybe stress. No stroke. No seizure. Clean bill of health… she just went off her nut.

Insanity runs in our family.

The day she went into the ER, my brother, sister, and I were right there by her side… as we should be.

I have often wondered about what I would do when I get the call becuz of our relationship. You know “The Call”.

Would I go?

And If I do Do I take my pillow?

My mom told me years ago that she didn’t want to be hooked up to life support. She knew that RubyJune wouldn’t be able to “unplug” the machine. That I was to bring my pillow and snuff her out. “Becuz I know you would do it!”

Doesn’t that say a lot about our relationship?

I didn’t take my pillow. I did take a change of underwear just in case I needed to stay overnight. I am the only one that doesn’t have kids to take care of, I could stay with her.

And then JoJo showed up.

JoJo is my mom’s friend. They’re not gay… I think my mom is done with that. JoJo is younger than my sister and mom treats her like one of the family. We’ve referred to JoJo as the baby sister. RubyJune hates her. HAAAYYTES!!! Her!! JoJo is full throttle drama.

I didn’t know this.

I didn’t know that JoJo felt that she knew my mother better than I did… I do now.

And that just pisses me off. There isn’t a soul on this planet that can tell me that they know my mom better than I do… not one!

When JoJo showed up, she set up camp. She was takin’ over! She was determined to stay the entire time Mom was in the hospital. And instead of havin’ a knock down drag-out over my mother while she lays in a hospital bed becuz of stress, I just took my panties and went home. It was one of my adult moments. I didn’t want to cause any further problems for Mom.

My sister told Mom that certain people weren’t comin’ to visit her becuz of JoJo but my mom didn’t tell JoJo to leave.

When Mom and I go to Texas to see her niece who is the same age as she is… they are more like sisters than Aunt and Niece… Mom tells her niece what a wonderful thing it was for JoJo to stay with her. Everyone else left. But JoJo stayed. She told that story twice… INSANE! She’s INSANE.

We were watchin’ “The Secret Life of Bees”… and of course its about a daughter that was abandoned by her mother. I told mom she couldn’t pick the movies anymore. “Why not?”

“I have mother issues!”

You’da thought I made her suck on a lemon!!

“Can we watch “The Color Purple” or do you have sister issues?”

“As a matter of fact, I do! And I can’t watch it either.” The whole separation of the sisters from each other just rips me in two. I love my sister. I hate being away from her. I can’t replace her.

My mom wants to write her “memoirs”. But RubyJune doesn’t want her to do it. I told her to do it, “what would it hurt? You have other kids.”

On the way home, I told her that I would have stayed with her if JoJo hadn’t forced herself into the situation. “I was not about to make you worse. I was not gonna have a pissin’ contest with her. Gettin' you well was the most important thing on my mind.”

She stopped throwin’ JoJo in my face.

Within a week of comin’ home, RubyJune had her fill of JoJo. And she drew a line in the sand.

It was gonna be RubyJune or JoJo, Mom couldn’t have both. JoJo had overstepped her boundaries and butted into family business becuz she thinks she knows more than we do about our mother and the dynamics of our family. She has no idea who she’s dealin’ with… at all.

I stayed as neutral as possible.

She chose JoJo. My mom loves drama.

RubyJune was hurt. And that made me so sad.

I asked Mom to fix it. She said no.

I thought she would be different after her lesbian lover died. My mother was her puppet. She’s JoJo’s puppet now.

Her “memoirs” … Lies about my dad. She has told people that he was a drunk that beat her all the time. She told RubyJune that he wasn’t even her father!!

She’s insane.

I still have mother issues.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Like Sands Thru The HourGlass…

I’m not sure where to start… I’ve sorta slept since I last sat here to type out a blog. The timeline gets a bit blurry. The details get a bit fuzzy. And the hurt and aggravation lessens.


Roy and I had a heart to heart… it was more like a heated discussion.

Okay Okay, a knock down drag-out 3 round match! But the gist of it was Eddie and Loretta.

You see when I say “I’m Done!” I’m Done. And he knows that all too well. Once we were out biking… with bicycles… and he made go up a huge hill and I cycled about a mile down the road when I stopped. Got off the bike. By that time he had come back to me, annoyed, and asked me “what the hell?” I told him, “I’m Done.” and down I went!! He caught me just before I hit the pavement!! I fainted or blacked out, does it really matter? The lights went out! I saw an Angel and I wake up layin’ on the side of the road!!!

I was done with Eddie and Loretta. I cut them out. But at the same time, I had a spat with my daughter and I announced, “I’m Done!” And deleted my Facebook account. Most of you know that.

Roy had calls from his cousins, his brother, and an old trooper friend, “are you and Nadine still together?” and “Is Nadine sick?” Apparently, I was missed. People kept track of Roy and me by my freakin’ status updates and you know I do not hold a lot back. I was just keepin’ my kids out of my life by closing it. Those 2 girls really piss me off to no end. I do not need that bullshit any more and I will not tolerate it… I’m Done!

So for about 8 weeks, I was totally cut off from family and friends… ‘cept for Jesse. Roy was concerned that I was slippin’ into depression or becomin’ a hermit or a hoarder. But I was totally content to not be frustrated with so-called friends and ungrateful children. But I did start to mend bridges with my mom. You know I have Mother Issues. Well I still have them but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Roy however was not so thrilled. He wanted to help Eddie and Loretta work on their house. They are buildin’ it themselves… They need professional help. On many levels. And I wouldn’t let Roy go help.

He said,”you are punishin’ Loretta for something she has no control over. He is the asshole!”

If Roy hadn’t been workin’ with that asshole, it wouldn’t have been so hard to keep him away from them. Roy had a man to man talk with Eddie about the situation. And Eddie said he knew he had fucked it all up and that he was workin’ on it.

Workin’ on it?? How?? Was he comin’ to me to apologized for treatin’ me like I was the devil?? NO!

Then Roy decided to play dirty… Roy told me that his co-workers were laughin’ at Eddie becuz he’s such chicken-shit bastard that he can’t climb up on the roof, that Eddie makes Loretta go up there. Eddie’s afraid of heights.

Well that just washed over me all wrong!! I can’t have that!! If the roof leaked or the shingles blew off in a storm, she’ll catch hell for it! Chicken Shit Bastard!!! Eddie’s not a smart man and his co-workers know it. You can’t hide stupid!!

So I let Roy go to help. I told him that I have no desire to be invited over. I have no desire to do things the kids do. I do not find it to be a treat to eat out with Eddie. I do not want to be a part of any of it.

The day went over to help them, I start gettin' text from Loretta. I ignored them. That’s what she did to me. I felt it was only fair to give her a dose of her own medicine. I can be childish too.

I opened my Facebook account. I didn’t ‘unfriend” anyone out. I just proceeded with life like nothing happened. That’s how most of the people in my family deal with things. We just move on, we don’t rehash the problem or apologize. We just move on.

My daughter asked me if we were good. I lied. I told her we were good. We are not good… I’m not openin’ myself back up like that again. I’m not gonna be hurt again by her or my other daughter.

And then Mom and I went to Texas…

Friday, November 05, 2010

Early Christmas…

I’m just about ready to get back into the swing of things… I have missed this!!

And I have missed you all!!