Sunday, September 19, 2010

Laughter Is The Best Medicine…

3 things said that cracked up someone while my mom was in the hospital.
Yes. She maybe had a mild stroke. Doctor’s only know what they’re told. And unless you have a knife stickin’ outta your chest, then and only then, do they actually know what’s wrong!
Personally, I think she may have had some sorta bladder infection or a drug interaction sorta episode.
But what do I know.
1) My sister, RubyJune, put a photo of Mom on FB for all the world to see her… or at least all the people back home… Which is much worse!
She was Out Of It!! Mom didn’t care if she was sick and lookin’ all bad… without her teeth!
After a catheter and a BloodPressurePill, she cared!!! “Well That’s Just Rude!”
I get all my vanity from her.
2) While the nurse was admittin’ my mom in, the question came up about the DNR and LivingWill, and RubyJune said, “Oh we’re the sorta people that do not want you to plug her in, so we have no problem unpluggin’ her.”
The nurse cracked up.
A few years ago, Mom said to me, “If I have to be on lifesupport, You come with a pillow and smother me. I know that RubyJune won’t pull the plug. But You’ll smother me. I know you will.”
3) After helpin’ her in and out of bed umpteen bazillion times to sit on the kmode… well hell what’s the right way to spell kmode??
The nurses… 3 of them… came in to insert the catheter. I guess my mom’s hoo-ha was being used as a classroom experiment… probably not the first time. She was pregnant at 16 with me… I’m just sayin’.
My sister and I stepped to the other side of the curtin. We’d seen enough of her lady parts to last our lifetime just helpin’ her in and outta bed umpteen bazillion times!
So the nurse told her to “just relax and let your knees fall apart like at the gynecologist” … and my sister burst out laughin’!!
Of course I’m thinkin’ sex and I added, “Not something that happened in awhile!”
I don’t think the old gal has had a date in 2 years! RubyJune told her stop datin’ old men… even though that’s her age group.
And Honorable Mention…
Every time the nurses would come in, they would ask her where she was and what day it was and the month… and every time she would tell them something off the wall. As the day progressed, she did improve and got it down to the right hospital and when she was born. But still thought it was May of 1999.
The last nurse came in just before I left and asked her who the president was and she replied proudly and without hesitation, “George Bush!”

PS: She's was much better and pretty much back to herself last night or I wouldn't have left. She has a balance problem and we still don't know the results of her tests. It's weekend and harder to get things done.

PPS: Thanks Ladies. Some times I feel like I'm talkin' to the wall.
Chief Peep, I've tried to comment. It says I'm not a member?


Anonymous said...


Oh well, who gives a rat's patootie about the correct spelling!

Glad your mom's doing better.

Teresa in KC

Tracie said...

Praying for your mom!

MizAngie said...

This is one of your funniest posts EVER. Love it! I think it makes a lot of sense to not plug her in, then you don't have the difficult decision about whether to unplug her or not. Ha!! My mother and I had this same sick sense of humor when dealing with all the hospital visits and illness of Daddy and her. Ya gotta laugh or it just gets too heavy.

tami said...

Prayers for your mom.

Katy said...

When you're in a hospital, I find the best thing you can do is find stuff to laugh at--makes you feel better and surely doesn't change anything.