Roy and I have odd conversations. We always have and I know that we always will. We’ve bickered about everything… anything… nothing. We tell each other everything, never leavin’ out the littlest details from literally shit to shinola… though I don’t remember the shinola argument but the shit one is just too gross to retell.
It’s nothing for him to call umpteen bazillion times a day to tell me stupid shit. He’ll be hunting and text me or make a run to the post office and feel the need to call me about the dead opossum in the road. With a cell phone strapped to his hip, why not just call me on a whim… and he does.
So Saturday, he worked a day shift and was bored outta his mind, so he called me several times. But the most interestin’ stupid shit call that day was about movies and people peein’ their pants. He was watchin’ “Unforgiven” with Clint Eastwood and apparently someone pees their pants becuz they’re scared. Roy doesn’t believe that you can scare the peewater out of them, “their muscles are tightened up and nobody can pee that way! You have to relax and then you can pee peaceful. I’ve never heard of anyone peein’ or shittin’ their drawers when scared.”
I beg to differ. A dog will pee when afraid. Turtles and Toads when you pick them up.. that’s how you get warts. Right? I went back and forth with him but he does have a point. You wreck a car or jump when you see a snake your muscle tighten up. But I said, “you have to agree with me that a person can pee their pants when they laugh or sneeze.”
And he was silent for only a moment.
“Well, that’s a fat girl thing. I never have!”
So weigh in… Does Hollywood have it wrong and a person can’t pee their pants in fear?
And we’ll all kick later for that fat girl remark.