Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Roy, His Truck And No Brakes…

Roy loves his truck. He bought it in 1989 brand spankin’ new! Over the past 21 years, he’s put nearly 300,000 miles on it. It’s been a very good truck… it’s a Toyota!
But things have had to be replaced… a long list of things. I mean if you’re gonna put nearly 300,000 miles on something, things are gonna need to be replaced! When the timin’ chain failed, it was a very sad day to see it on a rollback… tears fell.
That truck and I have history! I had sex in that truck!
I let it roll down the driveway with a truckload of dogs… that was pretty damn excitin’ for all involved!! It didn’t damage the truck at all but I couldn’t drive for all the hyperventilatin’!!
We need a new seat. I can’t drive it anymore becuz of the seat being broke.
It needs a driver’s door… And that was his fault.
The emergency brake has been broke for 13 years! And let me tell you that would be real handy right now. Our beloved little red truck has no brakes!!
Roy has noticed that the brakes haven’t been workin’ correctly for a couple of months but didn’t really give it a lot of thought until the day we were comin’ home from town and it barely stopped in time to keep from rear endin’ the car stopped in front of us! But he kept drivin’ it!!
The final shoe dropped when he could not stop it comin’ home from work one mornin’… Scared him it did! They are re-pavin’ the road at the bottom of a hill and he couldn’t stop! He was goin’ slow enough that he could turn circles in the road… it’s a really wide intersection… and slow his momentum enough to stop in the line of cars waitin’ to be escorted thru the construction zone. He musta looked like a mad man.
 He’s damn lucky he had room to make circles!
 He’s damn lucky there wasn’t a lot of traffic!!
He got it home safely. But the problem is gettin’ it town to our mechanic! He thought long and hard about it. And came to the conclusion that he would drive it to town.
Drive it.
15 miles.
Without Brakes.
Now one would think that I would be havin’ kittens over this plan, but no. I am his partner in crime. In a bar fight I wouldn't be cowered in the corner, I'd be helpin' him kick ass!!
His plan was that he wanted to set the alarm for 3AM so that there wouldn’t be other people on the road. And he would drive it over and leave it at the shop of our mechanic.
I would follow him… he didn’t want me in front becuz if I was stopped and he couldn’t, he didn’t want to rear end his own car. “But don’t YOU hit Me!” he said.
Yeah, right!
Like I would do that!
But after lookin’ at the HBO schedule he decided to go after he watched True Blood. The man has priorities.
So he says, “why are you so calm about this?”
“Becuz you’re drivin’ it.”
Well, I know he’ll do what needs to be done. They speak of him in reverent tones of his abilities in a patrol car. He will get that truck to the mechanic without incident… and that’s what we did… smooth as silk.
Drove it 15 miles without brakes at midnight to our mechanic so that beloved truck can be fixed.

Hire a wrecker… now that would make too much sense.


Wahzat Gayle said...

I was going to mention the whole wrecker thing... but I am glad you thought of it LOL

This plan sounds like something my hubbie would concoct as well so I hear ya

Gina (Mannyed) said...

LOL! This whole time I was like, why don't they call a tow-truck...

I guess it wouldn't be as much fun. Have you thought about putting the poor truck out to pasture? Poor thing.

Sherrie said...

Years ago, when the old poop and I were just living together, he used to let me use one of his cars. I was staying out at my sisters place, he came to visit, just as he was swinging into a parking spot, I was swinging out of it BAM!

Yep, it's embarassing rear-ending your car with another car hehehe!