Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Life Is Just Tough!!

So one day, I’m sittin’ here mindin’ my own business tryin’ to play FrontierVille… it’s my new diversion… when the game decided to go all wonky and slow and tell me  “DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!”
Well okay, it said “Error, Refresh.'” over… and over… and over…
Fuck it. I’m goin’ to the pool.
If only it were that simple.
I have to find a dry swimsuit.
I have to put on Sunblock SPF 3500 and then I have to “cure” for 30 minutes… So while I “cure” I check emails and make sure my Farm is in order.
Then off to the pool.
Sorta.
I have to gather up my hat.
Sunglasses.
Phone.
And towel.
Oh wait... My house keys.
Ready.
Walk out the door.
Stop.! Becuz I know I have forgotten something.
Think.
It’s too quiet.
I need the radio.
Unlock the house, set down the phone to pick up the radio. And walk out the house.
Walk about 3 steps, Shit!
No phone.
Now this trip into the house I will take off my sunglasses becuz the house is too dark to see where I put my phone.
Let out Monster.
Becuz he’s an asshole.
So I have put EVERYTHING DOWN to get him becuz he’s an asshole and will not just GO BACK IN.
You don’t just pick Monster up. He will gut you with his Ninja Claws. Plus I have sunblock on and I really don’t want cat hair stuck to me! I have to pick him up a certain why or it’s a trip to the ER to put my innerds back in.
 Picture him as a baby, I have grabbed up under his "arms" and I have to hand that baby with the stinky diaper to its mother, Ninja Claws away from my soft belly and vital organs… as far as my arms will stretch. Once he is back in the house and I’m not bleedin’ I gather up all my stuff again.
Once out to the pool area, find the classic rock station. I don’t know who put it on that Roberta Flack Station. I’m not into that. I’m a HeadBanger.
I have to set up the umbrella… becuz I need to have shade.
Scoop out all the bugs… and there not just any old bugs but they have stingers and are pissed off!! That takes at least 10 minutes
Once I have that done, re-adjust the radio and then get in the pool.
Get stung by one bug I didn’t get out… those bastard hurt!!
15 minutes on each side.
10 in the shade.
And now I have to pee.
At least I don’t have to carry the Radio back in but do I have to go thru that whole process again.
The sunglasses, towel, the phone, and Monster.

UGH!!

3 comments:

MizAngie said...

Ha! Sounds like me trying to get outta the house. By the time I get to the car I'm s'mad at myself I'm a cranky bitch.

Wahzat Gayle said...

LOL
you are still good.. I would have stayed in that house! LOL

Katy said...

Yeah, now here I am crying for you--big crocodile tears. Poor Nadine and her pool. Heh heh.