Monday, June 21, 2010

A Motorcycle, Short Skirts, And The Silver Saddle…

To steal, means takin’ something from someone that owns it or possesses it. Correct?

If you take my lawn furniture off my front porch that’s stealin’. Damn Neighbors!! I kinda miss that furniture! And the neighbor’s took it! That’s Roy’s story and he’s stickin’ to it!!

But if you take a rock from the ditch across the road, It’s not mine. I don’t own it. I don’t possess it. It’s not stealin’!

That’s my rationalization for being the catalyst for breakin’ up two marriages.

Roy’s wife didn’t own or possess his heart. I did.

The first time I saw Roy, he was in his uniform. I was not impressed. Don’t get me wrong. He was hot in that uniform!! He was never one of those donut eatin’ overweight cops… He was and still is… fine!! I just had a problem with him being a cop! You see the week before I met Roy, I had been ticketed for sellin’ beer to a minor at the convenience store where I worked. The cops had sent her in to buy and I stupidly thought I could judge a person’s age… and I could not. So when Roy strutted in and glared at me, I glared right back!

“You here on personal business or professional?”  I said to him.

He replied, “professional.”

I pointed to the back room, “The manager’s right back there.”

I went on about my job. I didn’t need anymore trouble.

And oh what trouble he was bringing!! He was smitten right off!

From that day on… right up to yesterday… we bickered with each other about everything, and about nothing. He just wanted to be near me. He came to see me 3 times a day. I only worked a 4 hour shift!!

He loved my short skirts. He was always right there to hold the ladder for me when I had to change the sign. I guess he was worried about my safety!

Right! I wore thong panties under those short skirts.

He gave me fits and I gave them right back!! He got lippy with me one day about the squeegee bucket and how he needed to wash the windows on the patrol car and left the buildin’. My feathers were ruffled!! I picked up the bucket that was catchin’ the water from the iced Pepsi displayed and trotted myself out there to the gas pumps with it. He was sittin’ in the patrol car and he saw me comin’. He had the goofiest grin on his face. I reared back with that bucket of water and threw it all over the windshield!!

“Problem Solved!!”

The look on his face went from the joy of watchin’ his beloved walk across the parkin’ lot to “what the fuck did she just do?”  to “isn’t she just the cutest thing ever” in 3.2 seconds!!

He came to the store on his Harley. It was the first time I saw him without his patrol car or his uniform… but in his leathers. He took me for a ride that day just up the street… an innocent ride. Sorta. He likes to show off so my ride was a bit peppy. After he left, he started to think that maybe I hadn’t like the ride, that maybe he had scared me. He came back and apologized.

And I was hooked… He genuinely cared for me. I got hit on quite a bit by all sorts but here was this guy that actually cared.

We toyed with each other for about 3 months before he worked up enough nerve to “ask me out.” Keep in mind we were married to other people!! I didn’t want to be involved with a married man. I didn’t mind havin’ an affair… just not a married man. I had no love for EarlLee. No respect for him. I was done with him. I just couldn’t get rid of him.

Roy was my 3rd… and last affair. So I knew how to not get emotionally involved… a No Strings Fling. And off to the SilverSaddleMotel we went!!  Ride ‘em CowGirl!!

But some where along the way those strings attached themselves to my heart. The Divorces happened. I danced outta the courthouse. I was shed of that lazyass bastard EarlLee!! Roy “pulled me over” on the way home and I dance on the side of the road!! Done! With! EarlLee!

One month later Roy divorced his wife and we were married 6 months and 1 day after that.

 The Ladies of RHOK posed the question of “What if Daddy and Mommy Switch Places for a day or two?”

We do that all the time!! Some times I’m on top and some times we do it on the couch… or swimmin’ pool. And that’s some good sex if it goes on for 2 days.

No? Not what you wanted?

I blogged about last week’s question “How did you meet your spouse?” Such a much better story to tell.


Real Housewives of Oklahoma said...

Oh are quite a gal!

No, not quite what I had in mind when I posed the question, but food for thought regardless! :-)

Thanks for playing along today!

Margaret said...

LOL. I love this. :)


Beth Zimmerman said...

Ummmmm ... speechless ... but I did laugh! Not sure I should have but ... let's just stick with speechless!

Baloney said...

LOL - this is not what I expected!

Katy said...

I'm stuck on the line "up til yesterday" Roy is still breathing, right?

Sherrie said...

I wouldn't expect anything less from you girl ~wink~.

Have missed poking my head in here, seems the nicer it gets outside the less I sit in here. Be back soon :)