Thursday, June 10, 2010

3 Things That I Don’t Get…

At this time.
You know there’s a long freakin’ list of things I don’t get like why for all that is Blessed and Holy can’t I Capitalize flippin’ Numbers???
Seriously. #$%??? WTF????
But I’ll narrow it down for you.

1)You know how I have one boob bigger than the other… the left one…. Decidedly Bigger!
And how it bugs the livin’ shit outta me.
And I’m not gettin’ any sympathy from Roy over this major ordeal. Though, if he said, let’s go down and fix it, I’d fall over dead.
DEAD RIGHT THERE!!
Well, guess which one is more sun kissed than the other?
The Right One!!!!!!
The Left One is bigger, but The Right One is is tanner.
Go frickin’ figure!!
And for the record… the right one is the one that most of the free world has seen!! It’s like its never been in a trainin’ bra and knows the rules!

2) That commercial for a hands free  soap dispenser… it claims that it will elimiate the use of that nasty germ-ridden dispenser.
Think about that.
It’s a soap dispenser. You get the soap and wash your hands. All fear of germs penetrating your skin is GONE!!!
GONE!!!!
Any germ transfer from the evil germ ridden bottle is gone!!!!
Are we really that dumb Lysol??

3) Why isn’t Danielle kicked off Real Housewives of New Jersey?? She’s a nut-job! She brought backup to a sit down with a tiny little 10olb housewife!! 
Seriously. She means to do people harm. She needs to be cut out of that show.
I watch these shows becuz I wanna  know how the other half lives not to see the same drama that goes on in my own friggin’ house!!
GEEHAWZZZZ!!! That shit goes on in buckets with Eddie and Loretta.  I don’t wanna see on my TV.

Change the Freakin’ Channel.

Honorable Mention:
Remaking Good Old Movies. Why not remake the bad ones?? Leave the good ones alone.
I will not pay money to see a remake of a movie that meant something to me or one that was PerFect the first time.

Call Me Crazy!
But I wanna live in world that I don’t care about soap dispensers killing me or where psycho bitches live.  I wanna live in a world of lollipops & roses and turn cartwheels to my hearts content… that plays Van Halen, KC and the Sunshine Band, and Donna Summers 24 /7…Disco Lives peacefully with Heavy Metal.
And when my right boob pops out, it says to the left one, “don’t hate me becuz I’m beautifully tanned.”

Come join me. We’ll watch Ralph Macchio put the wax on and take the wax off… forever.

Keep it comin' Love.
 Keep it comin' Love.
Don't stop it now.
 Don't stop it, No.
Don't stop it.

3 comments:

JQ Brat said...

There are SO MANY things I don't get!

Katy said...

I might have to steal this post idea--I've been thinking lately about a couple of things I dont' get!

MizAngie said...

I think we all know what I DON'T GET as that's what makes me so cranky all the time. Ha!!