Friday, April 30, 2010

Friendship, Package Deal, And Unapproved...

Do you know when someone smiles at you and they mean it? A real smile?
I know real smiles. The person smiles with their eyes. You can almost feel that smile it's so warm.
Fake smiles are cold and uncaring.

And do you know when someone is aggravated with you? They will smirk or roll their eyes, right?

How about smugness?
Can you tell when someone is smug?
Or arrogant, rubbin' your face in whatever the subject is about... like oh I don't know, their vast knowledge of car engines or pool water or Joe ShitDaRagMan. They are smug and all superior.

Well, Roy and I went to Branson over the weekend. I had spent time with Granny and I wanted to spend alone time with Roy. I didn't tell anyone, Loretta or Jess, becuz I didn't want either one to come with me. Especially not Loretta and Eddie!!
But that doesn't mean I'm not petty enough not to send photos to Loretta teasin' her about me and Roy at Red Lobster. Remember I'm not a grown up... yet.
Karma intervened.
I was sick! I couldn't even finish my drink... Roy drank it. I couldn't finish my shrimp! He was so full of his meal and my drink that he couldn't eat my shrimp either.
The minute we hit the hotel room, he was asleep!! I sent a photo of him to Loretta sleepin' it off.
We were textin' back and forth.
She finally text me, and said "if you're sick you should come home. Or I will come and get you."

"Oh right, you're poppa wouldn't let you come."
And we all know Eddie wouldn't let her come all the way to Branson to get us!

She came back with, "we would come and get you. Yes We. We're a PackageDeal."

Now I pissed!!
I didn't text her back, I was so pissed off!!
Her Package allowed her to go to a casino with another woman.
An Approved Woman!!!
But not to a freakin' PG kiddie Movie with me!!!

I'm so pissed I can't see straight.
I tried to no avail to make Roy see that I'm hurt. He doesn't see what the problem is all about.
"Then explain to me why she could go to the Casino and not to the movies."
He Can't.

So becuz I was ill, and it was rainin' we headed home. And once we got home, Roy decided he wanted to get some stuff at HellMart. Just before we left, Eddie called him.
About what I don't know or really give a shit.
But turns out they will be at HellMart too.

I ran into them first.
"Roy's back in Automotive." I told Eddie.
He said, "That's where I'm headed." and turned to go that direction.

Loretta said with a very smug look on her face, "I'm with him."

And that my BloggerWorld Friends, is All She Wrote!!
I turned my cart and headed to fabric's without sayin' another word.

In the past, she would have just followed along with me around the freakin' store!
Chit chattin' about nothing.

I was textin' Jess just as fast as my little fingers could go... I was about to explode.
I knew if I told Roy he'd just think I was makin' it up... And I knew I would cry!
I was cut to the bone!
Not only do I have put up with Eddie to have Loretta as a friend but Now She's Rubbin' It In My Face!!

Roy never saw them.

I told him what happened and let me tell you the tears rolled!!
I don't think until that moment, he really truly understood that I was truly and deeply hurt by being label "unworthy" or "unapproved" for Loretta.
All smug at HellMart and that comment about "Being a PackageDeal"... That's It! Done!

I'm findin' a new hobby and it's not Loretta!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

For Number 800..

Here's what I'm thinkin'... And This Post IS not 800. This is like 790 or something!
I'd like to say "Thank You" for your support.
For being with me thru the good, the bad, and the job.
For hangin' in there with me when I rant and whine.
For being a reader.
For being a good friend.
For being a lurker.
For being a commentor... I love comments. I can't get enough!
Well maybe not those oddball ones that seem to think I somehow help them with a college assignment... or the PornCrapLinks. I don't really care for those.

My way of sayin' "Thank You" is a Goody Bag!
I'm still thinkin' over just exactly what I want to fill it with... I've got some time to think about it.

And so do you.
Tell me what your favorite blog post was.
And yes, I've moved most of the posts from MSN to Blogger.
If you can't find one, it may still be stuck in the other PC or It got deleted. I deleted those that would tick off StupidEddie and Loretta... before she pissed me off.

Ooooh... I haven't told you about that yet.

Leave a comment lettin' me know which one was your favorite.
I'll put all your names in the hat, I'll get Roy to draw the winner's name from it.
I don't like those random number things. I tried it on the last giveaway and it when like this... 2,7,5,2,7,5,2,7,5!
Yes, I did it 9 times!!
And that was how freakin' random it was!!
Liar Liar Pants on Fire!!

You've got time.
Let me know.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Let's Talk About Twitter...

I twitter.
I used to use Velvettush as an ID.
I seriously thought about comin' out to my family and friends about my bloggin'. So I was consolidatin' all my IDs. But, THIS is my only place to vent about those people!! So I chickened out.
Anyway I stopped usin' Velvettush...and some black chick uses it.
And not the same person that uses it on MySpace... which he even has his foot in a strappy sandal as his ID photo. Remember when mine was my red heels in the air? UGH!
And you know I have mixed emotions about all that. Flattered that I'm imitated, but yet pissed off that I've been ripped off.
Sure, it's a great stripper name or even a drag queen persona or even a super heroine. It's mine.
Mine. MINE. MINE!!

I wish I had kept it... water under the bridge.
I keep tellin' myself that.

Uhm, what were we chattin' about?

So I follow 41 people on Twitter. But Actually only get updates to my phone from 15.
And of that 15, there are only 2 or 3 that twitter on a regular basis.
I've been to the movies with TheRedneckDiva.
I've been shoppin' with KikiMo several times.
And to a weddin' too. But my phone doesn't reply to her directly... I guess I'm not payin' the big bucks for that!
My phone goes off all the time.
Roy thinks that everytime it goes off, it's family.
Not always...Roy's gettin' used to it.
He's all "who's that?"
"Who's that?"
"She lives in..."
He stops me. "Okay. Never mind."

Every time, I had to explain. "It's Becca" or "It's Brenda." or "Katy, she lives in Louisanna."

He's gettin' used to it.
But he's drawn the line at my phone being under my pillow. You know like Madonna.
It's alert is me sayin', "Woo Hoo!"
So think about a cell phone constantly sayin' "Woo Hoo!" about 50 times a day!!
It's scared a lot of people!
It's quite fun.

And of course, I've been takin yall with me to all sorts of things... ball games, shoppin' and road trips.
At least I hope so.

My sister is one of those that puts her phone in her bra and she gets my FaceBook Status updates... which I use like Twitter... And she has it set to vibrate. The Day I was on The Roof, she told me to give it a rest.
But I thought vibratin' body parts was a good thing?
Or maybe that was the problem?
The day I went to Church with her, she left her cell in her car. "I didn't want you to be burnin' my boobs in Church!"
And then I couldn't text.
She just laughed, "Its what you get for being such a heathen."

I've started puttin' mine in my bra. I can see that is way more handy than in the very bottom of my purse.
And if it's in my pocket, it's more apt to fall out on the floor when I sit.
I'm learnin'... It's a process.
Roy said, "is that thing gonna stay in there?"
You know he has a point!
My bras can't seem to hold my boobs in some days much less a cell phone.

So... Again I've drifted.

Do you actually follow someone on twitter?
And I don't mean you clicked the follow button just to say you do...I mean actually "follow"?
Do you only follow with your PC?
Or do you use your phone?

I thinking about cuttin' out those that I don't actually follow and puttin' a lock on it.
I'm not about the numbers. I'm about connectin' with people.

And Speakin' of Connectin' ... A Jennifer left a message on Monday's Link UP. I tried to respond to you. Your ID is private... Welcome to my World.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Big Day Is A Comin'...

800 posts!! Maybe in 2 weeks. It really all depends on when I blog. Sometimes a lot of stuff happens and some days it pretty boring around here.

Any ideas on just how we should celebrate??

Monday, April 26, 2010

3 Things I Taught EarlLee...

The ladies at RHOK... Real Housewives of Oklahoma posed the question "What did you learn from Your First Year of Marriage?"
But that's not what I read.
It looked like What Did You Learn From Your First Husband?
Well I'm hear to tell you ....NOTHING!
So I, in my very Nadine Hightower way, thought of a different way to answer their question... as I saw it.
I was a bit confused as to them wantin' to give some "love" to the first husband becuz mostly they're assholes. Mine is.
Sure he's perfect for his 2nd wife... Mine is.
My second husband that is... But still.
And even if I answered their question the way they wanted that goes back to EarlLee anyway.
2nd Marriages are just so different... Mine is.

And if you come here from the RHOK... don't leave without sayin' hello.

So are you lost yet?
Are you still with me??

3 Things I Taught EarlLee...

1) That I will not blow on his asshole.
 You see, he had this problem with it. I'm not a doctor and I'm not about to look at it!! So he decided to "treat" it himself... with SeaBreaze!! So he took the cotton ball doused with it and swabbed his butthole. And instantly went to jumpin' around fannin' his ass!!
I still laugh about it.
When jumpin' all around actin' like a chicken with it's head chopped off, didn't stop the burning, he bends over and spreads his butt cheeks at me and yells, "Blow!!"
How's that mental image for you?
You shoulda been there!!
2 things.
1st, I would never blow on it. No matter how much pain he was in, I would never do it.
2ndly, I was laughin' so hard that I couldn't stop to blow... even If I wanted to help him out.
It still cracks me up... 25 years later.

2) That if he uses my shampoop, I will get even.
 We were married 11 years. We had fought with each other every step of the way. And close to the end, we didn't even sleep in the same bed. All I wanted to do was smother him with his pillow... not mine.
Mine was special. His was shit!
I hated the sound of his breathin' so I kicked him outta the bedroom.
One day we were carryin' on like two cats in a bag, when he decided he needed a shower.
What the hell!?
Get in the shower?
 "I'm talkin' to you EarlLee! Don't get in there!"
 Showers are a good thing. I made it my life's goal to make his life as miserable as he made mine. So I just kept pickin' at him. Plus he might use my shampoop!
I paid for it. It's mine!
"You only paid 96 cents for it. I'm usin' it!" he said.
Bastard can get a job if he wants to use it!
I was pissed!
 First the shower and now the shampoop!
I picked up the hairdryer and hollered at him, "Hey Hold This!"
He open the shower curtain, and reached for it! He was just about to grab onto it when he realized what I was holdin'!
He went all pale! "You are evil!!"

And he was damn glad he had his own room ...with a lock!

3) That if his girlfriends call the house, I'm not takin' a message!!
He would give women our phone number, and they called me.
I'm not sure who was more stupid in this case, Him for givin' it out. Them for callin' it. Or me for not takin' the shotgun to him the very first time it happened. I had a father of a little gal come to talk to EarlLee, and there I was standin' there in the front yard with EdithAnne on my hip listenin' to him say EarlLee was datin' his daughter!
One called and when she realized she had screwed the pooch, she said she was lookin' for his brother. And I set her straight, "Oh Really! He is happily married too. So you can just look elsewhere for male companionship."
And in the end, I told one, "Just come and get him. I'm sick to death of his lazyass. But if you want to deal with his shit, he's yours! Just make sure my child support check comes each month."

My first year of marriage, I learned that my first husband was still too immature to handle real life.

I love Roy Hightower.

Ya'll come back now, ya hear!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Hearin’ Loss, Confusion, and Laughter…

“Sister, What are you typin’?”
“I’m writin’ my memoirs.”
“My exploits.”
Lawsy! She makes me hurt!
“The funny things you and I do.”
She giggled… and blushed.
“Why would you do something like that?”
“Becuz, you are a lot of fun.”
“AAaah! Sister!”

Friday, April 23, 2010

Comfortable Sleepin’…

I’m GrannySittin’ Again. With RubyJune havin’ her own family to tend to, and VioletJean dealin’ with her grandkids and Grandpa, that leaves Granny to me. I’d rather deal with her than him… any day!
She like watchin’ a little kid!
Into Every Thing!
And figdets.
And asks me just about every 10 minutes if I need something to eat. “No, Granny but if you’re hungry we can fix something.”
“No. Not Really.”
I’ve been comin’ and goin’ from her house every time Grandpa goes to the hospital. And she says, “Those sheets on the bed? VioletJean slept on them. They’ll be alright. But you can sleep with me.”
That used to be the thing to do… sleep with Granny. She was so comfortable. I would wake up in the middle of the night and go get in bed with her… when I was really little I slept between her and Grandpa. But the older I got the more I kicked the covers. The BoogieMan never found me while I slept with Granny!!
“Do you want me to sleep with you?”
“No, not really. But you can.”
“No. I’ll just kick the covers.”
She giggled. She can’t remember takin’ Grandpa the newspaper but she remember me kickin’ the covers as a child.
But the sheets on my old bed, are the same ones I slept on last summer.
So I pulled them off the bed Sunday mornin’ before Church to wash them. As I was stuffin’ them in the washer, she said, “wait. I wanna wersh mine too.”
I pulled them off while she got ready for Church and they were ready to go back on after we were thru partyin’ and visitin’ with Grandpa. We weren’t home 10 minutes… she was putterin’ around tryin’ to put them back on herself! She came into the livin’ huffin’ and puffin’ all outta breath, “Sister! We need to get those beds made up!” It was eatin’ at her.  Lawsy!! There were unmade beds!!
So I set my laptop aside to go make up beds. 20 minutes later we were back on the couch.
“you think we should go fix something to eat?”
“Granny, let’s go find you something.”
I’m pooped!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

3 Things I Learned At Church…

This time.
My granny turned 87 on Sunday. What do you get a woman that's 87 years old. She has EVERYTHING she needs. So my sister thought it would be a super thing if she had all her family with her at Church.
That means I have to go. I have to sit up straight and behave….again.
I’m not thrilled.
But I did learn 3 things while goin’ to my Granny’s Church.
1) That God works in mysterious ways! I couldn’t text the entire time I was actually inside the sanctuary. My niece sat DIRECTLY in front of me and text the ENTIRE time!!
Why Not  Me?? Smite down the Heathen Texter???
2) That its okay to say Oh God in the confines of the Church. That its praise. But outside the buildin’… it some how not okay.  I’m confused.
RubyJune said, “It’s all in how you say it.” OOOOH!
3) That its okay to clap after a song is over. Like at a concert. Let me ‘splain that, Ricky.
When I was a small child and went to Church with my granny, All the ladies would sing a joyful noise in praise of the Lord. Bringin’ in the sheaves and fly away ol’ glory, I’ll fly away. My Granny would cut loose! An Uplifting Thing…  Well the Spirit moved this 5 year child to clap her hands when the song was over. Granny quickly grabbed my hands, “we don’t clap! We say Amen!” From that moment on….I didn’t clap!! I have never been spanked or sat in a corner by her… EVER!  If she told me not to clap… I didn’t do it!
So here I am 40 years later sittin’ in Church with my Granny…. on her birthday and when the song was over people clapped. What the Hell??
Still Confusion!!
RubyJune said, “Oh No We Clap now and throw our hand up in the air to say Amen!”
“We’re still Baptist? Right?”
And there was a lot of clappin’!
I went to Church and a Honky Tonk broke out!!
They had a singin’ instead of a sermon… RubyJune was not thrilled. If it hadn’t been Granny’s Birthday she wouldn’t have went at all. But it was so we all went. The whole Church clapped their hands and sang Happy Birthday to her. A big fuss was made. And after it was over, she turned to me and said, “I didn’t need all that!”
She’s gettin’ cranky in her old age!
One little funny side giggle: My niece is 19 yr olds… The One that Could Text! She was in the pew in front of me and she said something that I didn’t catch. Next thing I know she’s feelin’ me up! She reached right over and copped a feel right there in the Sanctuary! Pushin’ on my boob, She said, “Whoa Sister! Those are real!”
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! It’s alive and burnin’ at the Church of the Holy Nadine.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Naturally Awesome Power…

I’m full of it!
My grandpa was admitted back into the hospital on Saturday afternoon. I got my errands done and saddled up to head to Tulsa. While I was zippin’ down the turnpike, my sister, RubyJune Text me… “bring air spray”.
Granny should have plenty of hair spray. I’ve never known her to not have it. I banked on it. I didn’t pack mine!
Maybe RubyJune meant air freshener.
Why in the world would she need air freshener in a hospital? They have that clean sanitary smell… sometimes not.
So Okay. No biggie. I’ll just stop at HellMart in Vinita and call her to clarify it and pick up whatever she needs.
By the way… my whole family uses the word HellMart!! Thanks Tracie!!
So I called her. “Which do you need, hair spray or air freshener?”
She giggled. And very slowly said, “Don’t….worry…. about …it.”
“So you don’t need anything?”
“Are you on HappyPills?”
“Yyyyyeeeeesss…..” and she giggled.
“Have you had too many?
She giggled.
I left HellMart not really knowin’ what’s going on… she text me.
“Rosemary’s here!!! And she stinks!!!”
OOOOH I see says the Blonde Woman!
Rosemary’s our StupidAss Cousin. The one that I hate with a purple passion. Well, honestly I don’t even think about her. I hardly ever see her except at Christmas when she comes in and eats, gets her money, steal something, and leaves. I caught her gettin’ Granny purse off the ice box and made a big deal of it and she’s steered clear of me ever since.
And she doesn’t bathe. She’s 43 and must be allergic to water. I know she was raised right… the same people that raised me! And I bathe!! Some times twice a day!!
But her, no. Never has. And it smells like she never will.
RubyJune said she was about to vomit becuz Rosemary smells so bad. I’m still about 45 miles away. RubyJune decided to throw my weight around! And tells Rosemary that I’m 5 minutes away and Rosemary jumps up, “I’ve got to go.”
And out the door she went!
One Bourbon.
One Shot.
One Beer!
RubyJune text me and “It worked!!!! I love your power!”
We haven’t seen her since.
Totally. Natural. Awesome. Power.
Grandpa’s condition is not good. But not bad. They are concerned about a leaky heart valve.
He’s pale. He’s shaky. But still lippy… we wait. 

Monday, April 19, 2010

Where Were You On April 19th 1995???

That's question this week for The Ladies at RHOK Monday LinkUp Thingy.
You are more than welcome to participate even if you do not live in the Great State of Oklahoma.

I was at the dentist office in Claremore... wonderin' where Roy was.
That's where my story is....
Roy was actually in OKC. He was sittin' in a classroom at the Trainin' Center, a mile away. Just like doctors and teachers have to take classes... continuin' education type classes... Cops do too.
Ironically, he was learnin' "how to handle an incident"... Which was about to happen.
He never heard the explosion.
He never felt it either.
People always say, "I felt it clear down south Norman!"
I am skeptical about that!
He said someone came in and said, "Saddle up Boys. We've got to go!"

He spent the next 3 days workin' security around the site.
And givin' the FBIMen fits.... long story I can't tell.
For those that do not know it...but Roy Hightower is a pain in the ass!!
Remember that big NewYorkReporter was skeptical about the abilities of the OklahomaCountySD of catchin' whoever was capable of a crime of this magnitude, becuz they were a mounted patrol??
Isn't there a mounted patrol for Central Park?? DumbBitch!
And then it was one of Roy's Posse that actually caught McVeigh.

The girls and I were glued to the TV for any and all news briefs, just to see if we could see him on TV. EdithAnne jumped up, "Right There!! that's him!!! Look at the way he's standin' and kicked his toe!"
I have no idea if it was him or not but she felt better.
And when he came home she ran outta the house and hugged him 'round the neck... like photo of that woman that ran across the tarmac to hug her solider that had returned from Vietnam. You youngin' may not have seen that photo. But that how EdithAnne greeted Roy.

Rememberin' that always make me cry.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

There was one man that I have always wondered about, what happened to him after that day. He was a police officer and he was runnin' to the site. But when they thought there was another bomb, he ran back. The last I saw of him, he was leanin' over the hood of a truck with his head down... like he couldn't take any more runnin'. Or he was too stressed to do any thing else but lay his head down.

I have never been to the Murrah Building Memorial.
I can't.
I'm too emotional.
I couldn't keep it together at Pearl Harbor... and readin' about the sinkin' of the Oklahoma.
I had to leave the buildin'.
I managed to get thru the Alamo okay... I don't know why.

I'm An Okie Thru and Thru.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Why I Don't Do Home Improvements...

While I'm waitin' around for every one to "decide" what they're trip to Branson yet...
I decided to paint the kitchen floor. A simple thing.
Seein's how we can't decide on a floor coverin'....or rather AGREE on it. It's just plywood.
Remember when I fell thru the floor... and Roy fixed it. Well, it's been bare ever since.
And it has stains all over it. It looks gross!!
So I decided to take the bull by the horns and paint it!
I don't think Roy thought I'd go thru with it.
So he's stayed pretty much outta the way.
He's let me pick the color and everything!!
It's my house... he should!
He has one room in the house that has his stuff in it...and he shares it with the washer and dryer. But it's where all his tools, deer antlers, and all his manshit stays.
The rest of the house is mine.
I haven't gone all MarthaStewart and Shit but it's mine.

I picked out Toasted Coconut.
I did a test spot.
And liked it.
Easy Peasy!

And then I got all NadineHightower and Shit.
I poked a hole in the cheapass paint tray.
I accidently painted the baseboard.
I smeared the shit outta the paint on the baseboard when I attempted to wipe it off.
I had paint on my hands from wipin' the baseboard becuz cheapass paper towels are not absorbant... at all.

I wanted to do it small sections becuz of the cats...
I needed to cook Roy some breakfast...
I didn't want to paint too much and have the whole kitchen wet...

But what happened was I dropped the paint.

So I HAD to paint WAY more than I wanted...
I couldn't get to sink to wash the brush or the roller...
I couldn't get to the stove to cook Roy breakfast...
And WORST OF ALL... I couldn't get to the coffee pot!!!!
And it took forever... FOOOR-EEEVVVVERRRRRR to dry.

Other than that it was goin' well.
The problem. They didn't really care for the smell. They came in and made sure I didn't have food and left me alone.
I'm gonna need a gallon to finish the job.
And get Roy involved... he's the muscle to move the heavy stuff.
Or if the weekend's purty, I'll just go to SilverDollarCity!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Still Try...

"Hey, Loretta. Let's go to Branson some weekend in May before it gets too hot."
"Okay. I check the schedule and call you later."

Checkin' the schedule is code for Asking Eddie.

This was another attempt to do something with my friend and another chance to prove to Roy that IT WILL NOT HAPPEN!
Then their child broke her arm.

After tellin' me the ins and outs of the broken arm, and that she'll good to go for BBallCamp first week of June, the next thing she said was, "I guess we won't be able to go to Branson."

Roy was puzzled by this.
The child will still be able to go to school.

My point exactly Roy!!

Honestly, I like my BettyBadAss Rep but I'm not the antichrist!
Roy and I had an indept conversation last week while he roofed...and I sat there talkin' to him. I wanted to know just exactly what I did make Eddie hate me.
"I told him you didn't like him."
Oh yeah.
I forgot that.

 But still.

I done.
Well just as soon as get it all vented out.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Get Back Loretta... I'm Done!!

Remember awhile back when I wanted to go see AliceInWonderland?
Roy didn't want to go with me. So he suggested Loretta.
She didn't want to go either ...becuz she didn't like the first one.
I'm still shakin' my head over that!
It makes me want to say, "ya DumbBitch! It was Disney! Who the Hell doesn't like Disney!?"

Another couple that Roy and I know, Jess and Rowdy, had asked us over for dinner. We met this other couple thru Eddie and Loretta. Loretta works with Jessie.
Rowdy is just as cute as he can be... I instantly took a likin' to him.
And Jess, well, she's cut from the same cloth as me. So you know she's perfect.
One day, I had a movie quote on my Facebook Status and Jess knew what it was... and one thing led to another and Roy and I were invited over for supper and to watch the lasted Twilight Movie. Jess is a huge movie person!!
Perfect! She's just perfect!
So as we were watchin' the movie, I asked her if she had seen AliceInWonderland. "No."
"So you want go with me to see it?"
"Oh Yes!!"
I'm in love.

But the rub of this, is Jess and I are friends with Loretta. Jess felt that we were "cheatin'" on Loretta. And Jess asked Loretta if she wanted to go with us. I knew what Loretta would a point.

My movie date came and went...Jess and I have a great time. Like girls are suppose to...girls just want to have fun!! We decided to get all the families together for dinner... kids and all. I thru the dinner idea out at Loretta well in advance to give her time to sort out anything she needed.
And then the shit hit the fan!
Loretta declined to come. She made up some excuse and then stopped textin' and emailin'...which pisses me off!
Its just flat fuckin' rude to ignore your friends!!
But she works with Jess. She took matters into her own hands and confronted Loretta.
It's a simple dinner. There is no need for drama.
Turns out, Eddie was pissed off that I asked Loretta to go to the movies without him.
Did you catch that? I asked her.
Jess is clean in this.
I'm takin' this one for the team.
That DickHead Eddie!! He had no desire to see it.
Neither did Roy. Roy was all like, "What does it hurt to allow the women to go to the movies to see a fuckin' kiddie movie?"
Eddie thinks it's wrong for me to plan things that are not "couples" oriented and HE is not going to allow his wife to go anywhere without him.

And Loretta thinks I'm upset with her.
No Fuckin' Shit!! I'm Upset!!

She didn't even ask Eddie if they could go out to dinner with us as family.
Roy tells me not to write off her just I have asked Loretta to go to the Rodeo at the end of the month....twice.
And she has yet to reply.
I did it to prove to Roy that It's Over!

Annnnd... I haven't told you the BEST Part of this balls to the wall drama!!
Loretta has gone to a concert at the casino without Eddie. She went with another woman.
And The Day After My Movie Date with Jess, Eddie took Loretta to a movie to make up for not lettin' her come with us girls.
Once when I wanted to go shoppin' with Loretta, Eddie thru a fit. And to make up for it he took her to Tulsa for the weekend to shop.
He's a fuckhead first class!!
I asked Roy if we should ask her what she really wants and offer to take her or buy it for her so that Eddie will do it. He has since started buyin' her VSBras!! Thanks To Me!!

But, I done!!
Jill and Bethanny may have divorced and it was messy... Well! They aren't the only couple!

Katy! Bar The Door!!

There is so much to tell!!
Where to start?

I've made changes to the blog....if you're readin' my blog from a reader. STOP!
Come here and look!!!
Tell me what you think.

I've changed my Profile Photo too. Still me but different.
Roy won't approve it of it either. But still... it's me.

I have to go to Church on Sunday... It's My Granny's Birthday.
 I'm not lookin' forward to it... AT ALL!

I have an Eddie and Loretta update...which lead to a new friend and I can't wait to tell you about her.

The house is roofed. I didn't get hurt durin' the whole laborious task. Roy was stung twice and scratched numerous times... But I'm fine.

But right now I'm pooped!!
Comin' up with "laborious" and spellin' it right the first time was tuff!!

Oh Oh....I can't forget to tell the funny little story about my new cell phone.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Where Ya'll From???

The gals over at RHOK... Real Housewives of Oklahoma have a linkup thingy on Mondays. I thought I would play along this week. Maybe I'll gain some more friends.
You know Me!
The More The Merrier!!
But of course I can't get the link thingy in my post so It'll have to be to the side... Geez!!!

The Subject this week is "Where I come from?"
Well that's a loaded question if I ever heard one!
Becuz where I come from we all greet family, friends, and close acquaintance's with a hug!
But you cross me...well you'd just better keep on a movin'!
Just ask Bub's wife...Dumb Bitch!!
If the shoes fits...she should just keep on walkin' in it too!!

I don't think that's what the Ladies have in mind.
But more likely my hometown. I come from Oologah. Once, I lived on CooWeeScooWee Avenewy! Which is a wonderful place filled with more family than you can shake a stick at! There was a time when I was related to half the county!!
Will Roger's birthplace is there. The Corps of Engineers had to move the house when they built the dam and made the lake. I'm floored sometimes that people have no idea who Will Rogers is...I was rasied on his history. He's the one that coined the phrase, "If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, just wait a minute." I've heard it said for all states and "someone once said", But I Know.
He also said, "I've never met a man I didn't like."
I like that motto....but then again, he's never met EarlLee or Stupid Eddie!!
I couldn't tell you who Missouri's Favorite Son I guess I understand.
The lake area is beautiful!! I have spent a lot of time in that lake as a child. We had a boat and all the cousins would come and camp and ski....What a great way to grow up!! I watched the adults most of the first summer ski and crash. It looked painful! All the other kids had learned how to ski, but me. And I was the oldest of all the kids... and I was not thrilled about it. If I didn't want to do something, Daddy didn't make me do it.
Daddy said, "You can do it."
"I know."
"Come on, I'll hold the skis."
So I bailed outta the boat with him. He held the back of the skis and up I went... First try!
I love that Lake!!
Roy has instructions to cremate me when I die and throw me in the lake...but not close to the dam! I don't want to be sucked out and float off to Missippippi!!
And yes, he'll do it.
He threatened just last week to do it.
He's been watchin' Spartacus and saw how the Roman's took care of their dead loved ones... so he's ready. "I know how to do it so when ever you're ready. And if you get back up on the roof again. I'll just do it anyway!"
Jerk! I was only tryin' to help.
It's not my fault he cut 2 shingles wrong! He's the one that can't work and talk at the same time!

Wait... Where were we??
Where I'm from... oh okay...
I currently live 90 miles northeast of there... I like to tell people I live on the reservation. The local Indian tribe does a lot for this very small community. And recently they put up signs markin' their territory, "The Wyandotte Nation." I really do live on the reservation!!!

And that 'bout sums it up.

Where ya'll from??

Friday, April 09, 2010

They Will Get Even...

Yep that's how I roof the house.
Laid out like a fat toad in the grass sunnin' myself ...watchin' the buzzards fly over head.

But Roy, he does all the heavy work. And does battle with the wasps.
The further up the roof he goes, the more he pisses them off! So much so, he had to stop and make a run to town for wasp killer.
What he brought back was a fogger with the intent of "foggin'" the attic. I was not thrilled by this.
What about me?
What about the cats?
I could go to a hotel if I had to leave becuz of fumes but I couldn't very well box up all 6 cats and tote them out BY MYSELF!
I think I could do it but still.

He set it off and then set down to watch TV. He's hook on Spartacus on Starz. It has all the things he likes blood and sex. As we were watchin' it, I heard a buzzin' noise and look down on the floor to see THE BIGGEST RED WASP EVER!!!! There were 3 cats surroundin' it. I squealed! Roy jumped up to see it. The damn thing was obviously ill with poison! He risked life and limb to crush it under a big size 10 boot!
End of Wasp!
He didn't plan on that! The attic is a good 20 feet or more above our heads, he never thought they would come all the way down to the bottom floor! He searched the rest of the livin' room but found nothing. He checked upstairs and found 5 dead ones.
And like a ton of bricks, it finally dawned on him that the fumes could come down too.
That was when he opened up the house and turned on fans to air out the bottom floor. I never smelled anything but still.

That was 3 days ago. We all survived...'cept maybe some flys and wasps.
And those Attackin' LadyBugs!!!! I had one attack me for no good reason! It was all crawlin' around in my hair. And it was makin' that icky smell....Ick! IN MY HAIR!!

Today, he came runnin' in the house. "Oh Oh Oh, I think I have a wasp up my pantleg!"
And he went to shuckin' off his pants! I had to laugh.
Remember the time I put that red wasp in the toilet for him?
And he sat down?
With his dingle berries in harms way???
And how much he didn't like that???
Oh was he pissed!
And now he thinks one is up his pantleg!!!
I just laughed.
I found one tick.
But no wasp. He have a red spot on his knee so apparently he was only stung thru his jeans.
"They're just mad about you bombin' their home."

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Love Stories, Teenagers, And A Simple Kiss...

When I was in the 8th grade I went steady with a young man by the name of Frankie. He was cute with his freckles to match mine. He had reddish blonde hair, like mine but on boys it's not Strawberry blonde. And He was muscular and as strong as any farm boy should be....and he made me laugh. I liked Frankie. But his parents kept him reigned in and he wasn't allowed to do much outside of school.
Though they were strict, I adored his parents. Frankie and I both ran track. I could always hear FrankSr from the stands, "Go Nadine! Go!" And when I came in first across the finish line I could hear him yellin', "Atta Girl!! That's my future daughter inlaw!"
But I was only 14.
It was not meant to be.

Becuz of the strictness of Frankie's parents, my feelin's for him dwindled... especially when my friend's stepbrother came to visit durin' Spring Break.
He was cute. He had sandy blonde hair.
And he was smitten with me!!
And right in front of me!!
That Spring Break, it had rained enough to cause the creek to rise, and like a knight from Camelot, he carried me across the creek so I wouldn't get my shoes wet... sigh.
He kissed me over the fence before he left to go home, promisin' to come back durin' the summer.
It was one of those life alterin' kisses. Just a simple kiss.
I can still taste it. Cold to my mouth but warm all over... sigh.
I was only 14. But Oh Was I Wantin' Him!?!

Well after that kiss Frankie was history!
I'm gonna go with the one that gives me attention and come out to play.
And who could resist the thought of Summer Lovin'?
Every girl wants Danny and Sandy Romance!

He didn't come back like he had planned. His mother was battlin' cancer and he needed to be with her. After she died, He came back to stay permanently, but by then I had moved on to an upperclassmen. We dated other people but in back of my mind and in my heart I held the memory of that kiss.
After I broke up with the DruggieThug, I decided to go for it.
I wanted my Summer Lovin'!
And that's when I started datin' EarlLee....That Kiss, That Simple Kiss Over The Fence Changed My Life ForEver!!

Frankie, well he was always a very good friend to me...He's just that kinda guy. Any time I needed something, lunch money or to push start my truck, he was there. We walked together durin' our 8th grade graduation ceremony and he insisted that we walk together when we graduated high school.
I think we would have had THE cutest babies!!
Little red headed freckled kids...boys. Frankie throws boys.
Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been such a hot pants and waited for Frankie to be free... sigh.

No regrets!

So you see, a great love story is all in the way you tell it, Becuz EveryOne Knows How EarlLee Rates With Me Now!!!!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Do It Or Else...

So where is all this talk and rehash of the remodelin' goin'??
Be Patient... we'll get there.

So I talked Roy into an old farmhouse on nearly 4 acres on a hilltop in IndianCountry... Some days I love it. I can't imagine livin' anywhere else.
Some days I hate it. And I want to run away from home.
There have been many times I wished it would burn to the ground.
Or that some tornado would come across the lake and take me away to Oz.
There's been many heart aches in it and too many good times to keep track's my dream house.
I had a neighbor tell me she would have bulldozed it and started over!

EdithAnne's foot prints are on the ceilin' of her room. Though she may never set foot in this house again, she left her mark. Roy held her upside down after she dipped her foot in neon orange paint.
Odd though....she only put her left foot up there....twice.
She has two left feet.
That says so much.

EudoraMae had a fire in her closet... I didn't discover that fact until I was packin' up her room after she left. I didn't know whether to be mad at her, laugh, or cry.
Roy's mom, QueenVictoria, came to help pack up the girls' stuff. While I was at work, She spent most of the day in EudoraMae's room scrapin' the maskin' tape off the floor where EudoraMae had made a "city with roads" ....I knew to cry that day!
I didn't say anything to QV but went to Roy. And I begged him not to allow his mother to Erase Every Little Bit Of My Children From My House....Scrapin' the floor was one thing but "Do not let her touch EdithAnne's feet!"

Roy's parent left the next day....that was in 2001, they've only been back a couple a times since.

About a year ago, the insurance company sent a man around to "inspect" the house....the outside. It was decided that we had to roof it!
Or else!
Every month since findin' that fact out, I've told Roy to call the AmeniteMan...I don't know if he's Amish or get an estimate to roof. And every time, Roy would say, "later, I've got time. I'll go to our local insurance man and bargain with him."
In January, I said, "you're runnin' outta time! You hafta do something by April!"
"Later, but get the number to the AmeniteMan."

In February, Roy called the AmeniteMan, "Nope. I don't do steep roofs."
What the hell? Is he so plush, he can turn jobs down??

Roy went down to talk this over with his InsuranceMan, "It's not right! They can't make me roof my house! This is America!!"
InsuranceMan said, "Roof it or We're droppin' your ass!!"
Roy said, "Fine! I don't hafta have insurance and I'll dump your ass!"
"Oh yes you do as long as you have a mortgage!"

We've never made a claim. Not when the water pipes busted out and flooded the kitchen ...which weakened the floor and then I fell thru it...remember?
And we never made a claim when we had sidin' blow off durin' storms.
Or damage from ice storms.
Or when HUGEASS hail fell from the sky like the Navy Bombin' Iraq.

But we hafta roof it or else! There's nothing wrong with it. The roof's fine.

On March 20th, We paid off my dream house....this bitch is mine.
Every hole, nook, and cranny.

And Roy's roofin' it so as we keep our never knows when I might forget the chicken fryin' ... again.....and finally burn it the ground.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

The Claw-Footed Tub...

Roy and I like to go to farm auctions. Especially in Kansas, those old farms are a goldmine of cool stuff!! And We Love Cool Stuff!!
When it came time to redo the bathroom, we looked at claw-footed tubs. Too Expensive!!
So we went to flea markets...another one of those odd ball things we love to do. And we found old tubs but they were too short... 4 footers!! No good for Roy! Too stained or scarred up or again too expensive!!
But we keep searchin'... until we went to the farm auction in Kansas.
There in the yard of an old 2 story farmhouse was my new tub!! It had it's feet and there was one scratch and a couple of rusty stains....and it wasn't a flower pot!!!

Yep. A flower pot.
I know Martha Stewart doesn't do it but a lot a Okie's do it....turn a cast iron bath tub into a yard ornament.

I don't get it either.

So we waited all day long for the auction to move thru barns and the front yard and the side yards to get that tub...and they walked by it!!
I looked at Roy like, "what the hell?"
And he looked at me like, "No clue!"
He went to the owner....if he goes to the auctioneer then we have to bid against EVERYONE ELSE that wants that perfect tub!!!
She sold it to us for $40!!
I was tickled to pink!!!
I had look at $600 worth of bath tubs and old tubs for $200 and $200 more to refinish it!!!
40 friggin' dollars!!!!
That was one heavy motherhumper!!!!
But we got it home and I paint the outside of it a light peach color.

We went to an auction in Missouri a couple of months later and bought all sorts of things... cream cans, a heavy wooden desk, and an old toy box. I use the desk as a sewin' station and the toy box is an end table....a really big end table. I painted the cream cans...the one with the lid is in a corner in the livin' room and the other one is being used as a mailbox can.
That. I understand....cream cans as mailbox holders but not bath tubs as flower beds.

While I was going thru our other goodies we bought...there's always lots of boxes of junk, Roy walks up, "Come with me and see what I just bought!"
He led me out back to one of the barns. He explained as he walked that he had just bought a room out.
I was fixin'ta lay him out. We had just spent over my comfort limit for all that other stuff and he's just bought out a room!!! I'm thinkin' scrap iron and shit.
"Don't sweat it!" he said and opened the door to a room with 4 things in it, "I only spent $5!"

A cream can, a block of wood, and..... there under a piece of plywood was my second claw-footed tub!!!

It was PERFECT!!!!!
For $5!!!!!!!
No scratches!!
It has a light water stain dribble from where it may have leaked around the faucet.
And it had it's feet!!!
If theKansasTub was heavy... the MissouriTub is it's big hulkin' brother!!!
We had to have help loadin' it up!!
I painted it an off white color.

We set them out on the back porch side by side and bathed in them in the moonlight until it was time to move one in the house.
Yeah, I'm a bit Okie.
When that LiftYoDickDrug came out with people sittin' in their tubs... I had to laugh...we did it first!!

On the bottom of the MissouriTub, is a date. I'm guessin' it's when it was cast.... Feb 14th 1898. It's the one we decided to put in the house.
And it has been!!
In the summer, when it's hot that tub is cool.
In the winter, it hold the heat well.
Roy uses it more than I do but that's not the point... he makes my dreams come true.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Oh Lord!

With my new laptop, I can cook and surf the web at the same time. So I've set up shop in the kitchen. I've only spilt pop on it once....and it was really just a splash....I'm okay.
Roy was passin' thru one day and looked over my shoulder. It was the day I was tweekin' the blog background...You should look into the new blog templates for your blogspot.

And he says, "Is that your butt??!!"

You've seen it! Does that look anything like my ass??

"Don't you think it's a bit sexy for the web?"

So I ask, is my profile ID a bit much?