Monday, February 08, 2010

The Eruption Of Mount Loretta...Part 3

Oh Yeah.
She was set up Big Time!!
It was a mistake to think the kids should come. That was her first mistake. And the second was marryin' Eddy!!
Total Mistake.
And Eddy's such an Ass, He can't resist to make a point....and he doesn't mind laughin' in your face about it.
For Reals...At All.
I.
Hate.
Eddy.

But it all goes down like this...

So while Roy played silly games with the waitress and the kids, Loretta listened to Eddy say the dreaded words, "This is why we don't come to Red Lobster....", she was white knucklein' her menu!! Her whole face went red. She turned to him, "Go to the car! Now! Go! Just Leave!"

Yep. Just like some child throwin' a hissy fit, she was sendin' him to the car!!
But was he smart enought to JUST GO?
No.
He had the nerve to argue about it. "If I go to the car, I'm leavin'. And then how are you goin' to get home? Who are you gonna call?"

Set up again!!
Becuz the people she would call ...WAS WITH HER!!!
AND WE ALL CAME FREAKIN' TOGETHER!!!
I was just about to intervene becuz This FatChick Is Not Walkin' Home 30 Frickin' Miles!! In the cold and ice!!
But something in the back of my mind said to just keep my big mouth shut and LISTEN!!
You know my brain was screamin' "Damn Good BLOG MATERIAL!!!!! Damn Good Material!!!"
Yeah Baby, I kept my big mouth shut!!!

As they bickered, the rest of the table was totally oblivious to the entire meltdown. And before I knew it, Loretta grabbed up her purse and out the door she went!
One bourbon!
One shot!
One beer!!

The BoyChild noticed that. "Where's mom goin'?" And instead of coverin' up the mess, EddyDumbAss said, "Oh your mom's throwin' a hissy fit."
AssHole!!
And he sat there.
Mad and mullin' over the menu of what to feed the ungrateful children.

Now if I had "thrown a hissy fit"....which I don't.
That's a total misconception that I do. I don't have any idea what makes people think I throw hissy fits....I don't do it.
In public.
But still....If I had....Roy would have followed me. He would have to smooth it over. That's just the sorta guy he is.

And I sat there too.
If I had followed her out, StupidAssEddy would have come out too. He would not have been able to stand NOT knowin' what we're were sayin' about him.
Or if we were plottin' his death.
So I did the only thing I could do, I sent Roy.
I leaned over to him and 'splain'd it him....He went flush red. Like I said, He was totally oblivious to the whole thing.
We have hearin' aids. He just refuses to wear them.
So out the door he went.
And as he walked across the parkin' lot, he's walkin' the walk of a man on DeathRow.
Seriously. He thought he was the reason for the meltdown!!

You just have to laugh at him. Go ahead, I am. Really.
He was goin' out there to face the music.

See that's what Eddy should have done.

I have the best husband.
Ever.
Sure he wears on my last nerve and I wanna slap a hairlip on him 95% of the time but he a good man.
It wasn't too long and they came back. It doesn't take long to convince her that Eddy's an Asshole and not allow him to ruin the evening for everyone. Loretta ingored Eddy thru the rest of dinner.
And that pissed him off even more.
And who did he take it out on....the GirlChild for orderin' the RootBeer.
Why?
Becuz it came in a bottle!
"Stop Drinkin' That! They won't bring you another refill for free. I'll have to pay $1.25 another one."
I wanted to slap him. That poor baby looked like he beat her!
Everytime she wanted a drink, she'd look over to him before she took a drink.

He's an asshole.
And one day, he'll be a lonely asshole.
Surely, Loretta will come to her senses.
But 'til then, their blog fodder.

7 comments:

Becca said...

OMG he is so oblivious to reality. He isn't long for that marriage if he doesn't smarten up. Poor girl child. She doesn't deserve such abuse.

Katy said...

I don't know Eddy, but I kind of hate him too.

Tracie said...

What a total JERK! If this is how he treats her in public what's it like at home where nobody can see?

Miss Thystle said...

Team Loretta. ALL. THE. WAY.

Gina (Mannyed) said...

I would like to take that root beer bottle and smash it over Eddy's head. Loser.

Jeankfl said...

He really needs to learn how to treat someone you're supposed to love. Selfish SOB. Tell Loretta we're behind her, and she needs to use the Crisis Line in Miami!! She is abused, and doesn't even realize it! Hope they both get smarter!!
hugs,
Jean

♥Georgie♥ said...

good grief!!!! I was laughing at your retelling of the evening BUT not the situation ...
Men, sometimes I think, need a good torture chamber round...yanno just to keep em in line...