Sunday, December 27, 2009

Careful Of What You Wish For....

It just may come true!!!

Everyone wants a white Christmas.

The Red Cedar that's been there for 50 years.
I know it doesn't look as bad as it was ...but we had ThunderSnow!!
Granny said, "What was that flash? Someone's here! Flip on the porch light!"
"If anyone is here, they'll knock!"
And then we heard the thunder. "See someone's here! Sister! Flip on the porch light!"
"Granny! Nobody's here. It's thunder and lightening." Holy Jumpin' Catfish!!
They Drive Me Freakin' NUTS!!!
I called Roy and he confirmed it.
And it was blowin' like nobody's business so there are so pretty good drifts around. I've out grown the urge to dive into them....so there are no photos of that!

My car is snowed in....and frozed shut. The driver's side has snow about half way up the side. We'll come back to that later.
Do you really want a white Christmas???
Becuz all the wonderment and fun of a white Christmas is nothing but headaches!!
Becuz some stupid person thought it would be a WONDERFUL IDEA to send my Grandpa home from the hospital in a blizzard, so that he was home for Christmas.
Now once again you would think that it would be a wonderful thing to have your loved one home from the hospital for the most wonder time of the year and a white Christmas and all.....NOT!
My aunt dropped him off at 2:30pm and left.
One becuz the roads were gettin' bad with ice.
And two SHE didn't want to take care of him!!!
The man's not nice. There's a reason why I don't spend more time with him!!!!
I covered him up in 5 blankets....he had just came in from a blizzard. Temps in the teens with a wind chill in the single digits. And the house was not as warm as it should have been becuz we all were there....all 20 of us!!!
And They Had Left!!
The Weather Was Bad!!!!!!!
And the power went out at 12:30!!!!!!
So They All Left!!!!
Before HE Got There!!!!!
All that warm fuzzy feelin' you're supposed to have over all that shit went right out the Flippin' window!!!
So that just leaves me, my sister, my granny, and HIM!
And then my sister left after she fussed with him....she needed to be home too. Though, she only has to drive 6 miles....that 6miles of ice, sleet and blowin' snow.
This is Oklahoma People....we don't do snow and ice. We do Heat and Humidity!!
One freakin' flake falls from the sky and people wreck their car!!!
Plus she didn't wanna be there when he wanted the newspaper!!
Any way, I had him all bundled up and he was nappin' off and on.....more off than on becuz Granny wanted to talk to me....I was readin' a book.
"No Granny I don't want to watch TV."
So he just gave up and decided to watch TV as the power came back on about 3:30....LOUDLY!!
People in Kansas could have heard it!!
I went to the kitchen.
Granny followed me....I might be into something she didn't want me to be into....once I got into her paint pen things that she used to color her t-towels with....bit them I did to get the paint out....she was so mad!!!
And she's never let me live that down....I was 4.
"Sister, do you want something to eat?"
"No, Granny, I'm not hungry."
It wasn't too much later, Grandpa comes in, "Looks like Bo's been tendin' the stove!" and reaches down to turn the flame up.
"Grandpa, Bub didn't touch the stove." You see, If anything is fucked up, Bub did it. Or RubyJune trashed it.
"Now Fred, don't burn your PEE BAG!" Granny yelled at him.
Yes that right People, He's got a catheter attached to him!
"Where's my PeeCan? I need it."
"Can't you just go down the hall and dump it in the toilet?" I said.
Now one would think that would be the case....easy peasy. Just dump it in the toilet. But NO!
My sister COULD NOT STAND IT!! He would sit in the livin' room and dump it in a can so that SOMEONE ELSE HAD TO DO IT!!!
So she tossed all of them in the trash....and hauled it to the dump...and burned it so he would not go get it! He would!!!
So he had to walk down the hall to the bathroom and dump his OWN urine in the toilet!!! That's not what I signed on to do. I will not... EVER.
He came back to the kitchen and sat down in front of the stove and said, "I think I would like to have some pumpkin pie." And looked at me.
Now here's where I don't mind takin' care of him. There's no way I can fuck it up!
I'm Golden!!
I gave him his pie and some CalfSlobbers, pick up my book and went back to the livin' room, picked up the TV Remote and Turn that Bitch down!!
After he ate the pie and came back in the livin' room, I rebundled him up and he napped for a bit. When Granny woke him up, he wanted some bread and gravy.
Again NO PROBLEM!! I whipped him up some and pick up my book and went back to the kitchen.
After that, he wanted to read the newspaper. The one that my sister had thrown away....and hauled it to the dump....and burned it.
Or he'da sent me up there to dig it out!!
I swear to God we had an arguement over that damn newspaper. I had nothing to do with it.
I had looked thru it but Granny just kept talkin' to me and she was tryin' to make stuffin' so I quit readin' the paper....rolled it up and RubyJune trashed it. END OF PAPER!
OMG!!
He harped on it and bitched that there shoulda been 2 puzzles to do....which there wasn't. I had to point that out.
"There's been 2 puzzles in that paper for the last 10 years!!"
"Did you see the paper at all Grandpa?"
"I skimmed thru it." in the hospital.
"Well I looked at it too. I read most of the funnies. And I looked at the puzzles. And there wasn't 2 in it!"
Roy's all the time tellin' me I should just keep my mouth shut around Grandpa becuz it just drives me so crazy tryin' to prove I'M RIGHT!!!!
We managed to get thru the night without incident.
Next mornin' after we fought more about the paper, I washed the dishes and the water wasn't hot...at all. "I've been standin' right here for 10 minutes lettin' it run as washed the dishes and it is not hot!!!"
"OH that water is so hot it will burn your hand!!"
He sat right there and watched me!!!
"You don't have it on strong enough." So I opened up wide....like that makes it hotter?!!??
"You don't have the handle turned to the hot side!" I worked back and forth.
NOTHING!
"It's got to come all the way from the back of the house. And you're not doin' it right!" becuz I'm stupid and I fuck up everything!!!
"I've been standin' here for 10 minutes with it runnin'. Granny, when you took your bath yesterday, how much water did you run in the tub?"
She looks down and shakes her head, she hates to be in the middle of our fights, "I had 6-8 inches."
"And did you water ever get hot?"
"No."
HA!
Who ever the hell thought it was a good idea to have one handle to run both hot and cold it a totally fuckin' idiot and should be shot!!!!
Later....I went out to take the photos of the freakin' white Christmas everybody wanted, tried to get in my car, tried to get in the garage to get the shovel.....
Wait.
That's enough for the day.
Oh I've got more to tell you!!

2 comments:

MizAngie said...

Wheeeewwwwww. Better you than me. I'd be cussin' 'em out. Sounds like how my Daddy got toward the end. I was the golden one but also the one he picked fights with most of the time. I think he enjoyed it. I let him think he won most of the time because it was the only time he still felt like he was in control of anything. No skin off my teeth, right? But there were some days when he would get under my skin and then the fight was on.

I don't like snow. I hate ice.

Stefunkc said...

What a few days you've had!! Yikes. Here's hoping the New Year is better!