I had a breakdown.
Not a full fledged take me to the rubber room kind but a cry over a cup falling outta the cabinet and I can't stop kind.
Cry like a baby....big sobs.
And I don't really know why.
It's more like a bunch of shit.
I'm turnin' 45.
I said it.
Forty fuckin' Five.
For those of you that really thought I was perpetually 35...you had to know that was a big fat fib.
I found grey hair.
I feel I'm a fortunate woman that I have gone this long without it...or at least see it.
My car was left in the dust by a much younger faster model....read all the metaphors and analogies you want to read into that. You could be right...but not.
But I wasn't drivin'....that Man was. I told you he didn't drive as aggressive as I do!!
I've busted my ass off at the gym for a complete year to weigh more now. I took pride in the fact that I had done all the sweatin' to decrease my cholesterol from 229 to under 150!! Sure I've toned up but my ass is still a size freakin' 12!!
The day I had my cholesterol checked I also donated blood. I wanted to know what type I was. Back in the 7th grade we did it as a science project but I had since forgotten the results. Except that the teacher told me I had a rare blood and that I might want to donate later in life.
Not only did they take my donation but they performed extra bloodwork. And my cholesterol is 227.
I sweat my fuckin' ass off for 2 fuckin' points!!!
Totally pissed off!!
But the icin' on this shitty cake is my best friend from high school had a heart attack and had to have triple bypass surgery.
That was what tipped me over the edge.
I was up at 4AM one mornin' bawlin'...I got up outta bed so I wouldn't wake up Roy.
I was tryin' go get a cup outta the cabinet with tears streamin' down my face when a cup fell outta the cabinet....sobs.
Oh Shit That will Wake Him Up....Big Sobs!
He'll come in here and gripe at me....Bigger Sobs!
And there he was, "What are you doin' up?"
"I don't know!"
"Why are you cryin'?"
"I don't know!!!"
He took me back to bed and we talked for a couple of hours.
"We'll fix the grey. You look great. She smoked. And when you go in to talk to the doctor about your cholesterol, you might ask about happy pills."
Oh we fixed the grey...I'm officially a brunette.
And for the record, I'm B Positive.
Ironic isn't it!!
And I blew my chance at a great "Church of the Holy Nadine 700th Blog Entry Sermon"....maybe at 800.