Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Major Changes...

I had a breakdown.
Not a full fledged take me to the rubber room kind but a cry over a cup falling outta the cabinet and I can't stop kind.
Cry like a baby....big sobs.
And I don't really know why.

It's more like a bunch of shit.
I'm turnin' 45.

I said it.
Forty fuckin' Five.
For those of you that really thought I was perpetually had to know that was a big fat fib.

I found grey hair.
I feel I'm a fortunate woman that I have gone this long without it...or at least see it.

My car was left in the dust by a much younger faster all the metaphors and analogies you want to read into that. You could be right...but not.
But I wasn't drivin'....that Man was. I told you he didn't drive as aggressive as I do!!

I've busted my ass off at the gym for a complete year to weigh more now. I took pride in the fact that I had done all the sweatin' to decrease my cholesterol from 229 to under 150!! Sure I've toned up but my ass is still a size freakin' 12!!
The day I had my cholesterol checked I also donated blood. I wanted to know what type I was. Back in the 7th grade we did it as a science project but I had since forgotten the results. Except that the teacher told me I had a rare blood and that I might want to donate later in life.
Not only did they take my donation but they performed extra bloodwork. And my cholesterol is 227.
I sweat my fuckin' ass off for 2 fuckin' points!!!
Totally pissed off!!
But the icin' on this shitty cake is my best friend from high school had a heart attack and had to have triple bypass surgery.

That was what tipped me over the edge.
I was up at 4AM one mornin' bawlin'...I got up outta bed so I wouldn't wake up Roy.
I was tryin' go get a cup outta the cabinet with tears streamin' down my face when a cup fell outta the cabinet....sobs.
Oh Shit That will Wake Him Up....Big Sobs!
He'll come in here and gripe at me....Bigger Sobs!

And there he was, "What are you doin' up?"

"I don't know!"
"Why are you cryin'?"
"I don't know!!!"

He took me back to bed and we talked for a couple of hours.
"We'll fix the grey. You look great. She smoked. And when you go in to talk to the doctor about your cholesterol, you might ask about happy pills."

Oh we fixed the grey...I'm officially a brunette.

And for the record, I'm B Positive.
Ironic isn't it!!

And I blew my chance at a great "Church of the Holy Nadine 700th Blog Entry Sermon"....maybe at 800.


Bj in Dallas said...

Oh Nadine! 45 is a great place to be! Try 50. Now that sucks.
And my cholesterol is high, I work out and can't get rid of it, but I am WAY f-in smarter than I was at 35.

And the meds work, try some. With a good Chardonnay :)

Hang in there.

M&Co. said...

Oh Nadine. I'm 46, soon to be 47. Miss Clarol is my friend and I've embraced her. I've been taking vitamins to reduce my cholesterol. You might talk to your doctor about giving them a try. I take Niacin, Flax Seed Oil, Cal-Mag-Citrate with Vitamin D and vitamin C. See if your doctor would be on board for you to try those to lower the cholesterol. It is frustrating but keep at it.

Katy said...

Cholesterol is a funny thing--my brother's best friend has had high cholesterol his entire life and he's fit as a fiddle. Sometimes your body is just wonky. Sides, there's good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, so maybe you're getting some of the good kind.

I wish I had better advice, but I've been out of sorts myself lately and can't put my finger on the issue.

Becca said...

Hey sweetie, no worries on 45, I am here now and it doesn't look so bad from here. And cholesterol is something that all of us have to deal with and sometime pharmacueticals are a help to me. And gray hair? I am to the point where I am aware, very aware of my own mortality, so I am not worrying about that. My hugs to you and know that you are not alone.

MizAngie said...

Aw, screw you Nadine. I'm fifty-frickin'-two. The gray hair on my head is nothin' compared to the gray eyebrows and pubes I wasn't expectin'. And, speaking of pubes, who knew they'd crawl up my body from where they're supposed to be to my upper lip! Yeah, I look like my Daddy's old aunts we made fun of for looking like Daddy's old uncles! That whole gym thang? Well, size 12 is the average size of the American woman. Toned curves are way better than tiny bones. Just ask Roy. The cholesterol? I don't know. I eat like shit, never work out, but have fabulous cholesterol levels. It's genetic. I swear there's something in the air right now. Every woman I know over 40 has had "attitude" lately - either the bitchy kind or the crying for no reason kind. Yech. Hang in there, Heifer!

Miss Thystle said...

So where's the picture of your sassy new do?

Also? Happy pills? Proof Baby Jesus loves us.

Gina (Mannyed) said...

Is this a bad time to tell u that I'm turning 30 in April? I'm just trying to make you laugh. We all have these days, sorry you are having one (or in this case, had one).

Just think of all the good muscle you built in that year. That could be why you weigh more, not from fat, but from muscle! Anyways, I think you are a great, talented lady! Hope that makes u feel better : )

Anonymous said...

Miz Nadine - I take two fish oil capsules twice a day, and my total cholestorol went from between 210 and 220 to between 160 and 170. And I swear by antidepressants - thank God for them. As for the grey hair - I've decided that by golly, they're mine - I've earned them, and I will wear them proudly. I'll hit the big 5-0 next spring, and life is so much better than when I was in my twenties.

This too, shall pass.

Teresa in KCMO (formerly in OKC)

big dog mom pam said...

My dear Nadine. I had that kind of reaction to turning 30. I'm just a year older than you and I loved turning 45. Hell, who wants to be 35 forever? It's not the age on the outside, it's how you feel on the inside. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14? I'd love to look like that. And the cholesterol thing, well it might be genetics. Hubby has the same problem. Worked his butt off to do all the right stuff and it wouldn't budge. Give the man some meds and it's picture perfect and he can eat anything he wants. I hate him for that.

Sherrie said...

Hubby has been on 3 different types of Cholesterol meds, all three really were not agreeing with him. He dropped them, started taking 3 salmon oil pills a day, and a bowl of oatmeal with a tablespoon of Flax seed on it. The results were amazing, add to those some exercise and he's been able to keep it somewhat under control.

I think you look beautiful by the way :)

Now one day I'll tell you all about my recent 50th physical, it wasn't pretty!