Saturday, October 24, 2009

It Was Bazaar!!!


So, Roy and I discussed what time we should get up to start our big day...Saturday! He had MuzzleloaderSeason to deal with and I had the ChurchThing.
"I have to be there at 8."
"That works out well for me, I want to be in the stand at 6:15."
Now if he said anything else to after that, I sure as Hell don't remember it. I was still tyin' a blanket together and makin' a dog bed. I had my own shit to deal with so I just didn't hear him say what time he was gonna set the alarm.
In the wee hours of the morning, I heard him tippy-toein' over my head. And I thought, "Oh sweet baby, Thank you." He's lettin' me sleep just a bit longer. Then I rolled over and saw the clock....5:13!!!!!!
Holy Shit!!!!!!!!
That gives me 45 minutes to feed him breakfast, eat a bit, shower, and deal with my hair!!
My hair lives in a world all to itself. It does what it wants when it wants...I have no control.
Holy Shit!!!
"Honey what are you thinkin'!!!!????? I wanted to leave the house at 6:00!!!! I have to drive an hour and half!!!!!!!! I allowed myself 2 hours to do it!!!!!!!!!!!" I shouted at him while I got the eggs and ham out and he loaded my car with all my stuff.
I had all of it ready to go.
I knew exactly what I was going to wear....I even had plan B ready just in case!!!
But my hair!!!!!!!!
He lived to go hunting....6am he walked out the door.
"Take your flashlight with you. It's dark out there! I'm lockin' you in!!"
At 6:25am I picked up my bags, put my hat on my head, and my flashlight in my hand.
Okay, I have to pee.
Set everything down.
Walked in the bathroom, twisted myself back outta those damn hose, saw my jacket hangin' in the shower, "I need that."
Sat there.
And Sat There!
2 Freakin' Drops!!
Okay, move along.
Holy Shit!!
Do you know what's worse than havin' your skirt tucked in the back of your panty hose?
Having the hem of your skirt in the toilet bowl!!
Okay, not wet.
Move.
Along.
Go back to the living room and pick up all my shit...again.
Turn to where the light switch is....damn it all to Hell... That Jacket!!!
Put everything back down go back to the bathroom and put on the jacket.
Pick everything up.
Go to the back door.
Damn!!
Not only did he lock the back door but locked the deadbolt.
Shit a brick.
Now I have to use the flashlight to find that set of keys....car keys found and in my jacket pocket.
Find the house keys.
Damn it's dark...Thank goodness for the flashlight!
Got in the car without a hitch at 6:33.
Back it out and around....Shit a Freakin' Brick!!!!
The headlights hit the LOCKED GATE!!!
NOW WHERE ARE THOSE KEYS!!!!!!
Again the flashlight came in handy.
I'm finally on the road at 6:35.
Oh Holy Shit and Kiss My Ass!!!
I need to pee.
It's 6:39!!
But on my way to the ChurchThing.

2 comments:

MizAngie said...

How many bags did you sell???

Sherrie said...

Phewf at least you couldn't piddle, otherwise your skirt would be in alot worse shape!

So I've tried blogging at the new spot, could you take a peek and tell me what you think?

http://thebeatofwarmheart-sherrie.blogspot.com/2009/10/small-towns-addictions-good-ole-belly.html