Sunday, September 27, 2009

Burn Out, Deaf Man, And Gym Gossip...

First the Gym Gossip: The GymHo has a new job so Roy's walkin' buddy is gone.
He was so bummed until all the new women started....especially that one. I'll tell you all about her later.

The Worm Has Turned....Roy hates goin' to the gym. I have to make him go.
It started last spring. The weather was too nice to be at the gym for hours. I hated it. I threatened many times to walk home....which is just a mile.
Hell !I'd just peddled 10miles on a stationary bike!
What's walkin' a mile home?? Right??
So he just kinda works out halfass....and now that the GymHo's gone, he's just there to humor me.
I Know!!
Whoda thunk it???
But I can see a difference.
My clothes fit better. I feel better.
I just don't get on the scale....they lie!

But burnin' out of something is Roy's thing. He will drive it....whatever it is....Playin' pool, playin' video games, whatever it is....he burns out!
Thank Goodness that he burned out of video games before that playcenter and icebox thingy came out!!
The only things he hasn't lost his passion for is hunting, sex, Dr Pepper, and me...I kinda figure in heavily in that whole sex thing.

Anyway, becuz he has burned out at the gym and only does the weight machines halfass, he takes breaks from his "workOut" to come over to me and tell me nonsense....basically stupid shit.
So this one day, Roy was on the other side of the room workin' out on the weight machine. I was workin' out on the elliptical thingy when 2 of the new women came into the gym. They knew each other and exchanged pleasantries.
The conversation between the two turned to the teachers at the local school.
My ears perked up!!
The HappyWife was mentioned!!
But I couldn't hear everything that was said.
I could tell from the conversation, hand, and arm motions that it wasn't good!!!
Well it just so happened it was time for a stupid shit update. Roy was walkin' towards me. And before he could even get one word of his stupid shit out, I grabbed him by his teeshirt!!! I pulled him as close as I could without fallin' off the elliptical and without hittin' him with the ski thingies....he was instantly shocked!!! I've never touched him durin' stupid shit reports!!!
I looked him square in the eye. And thru gritted teeth, "Their talkin' about the HappyWife!"
I pointed with my eyes.
He, being a trained cop, and he didn't want to let on that he was lookin' at the women, he slowly turned his head enough to see them in his peripheral, "Oh."
Still thru gritted teeth, "Go over there and listen in."

So he went....actin' all cool.
And he sat in the most perfectly wrong place!!!
The woman that I couldn't hear....isn't it funny how you can't hear someone talkin' when THEY have Their back to you??? ....he sat as far away from her as possible.

What the Hell????

It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I sent a deaf man on a reconnaissance mission!!!!!!!

Later in the truck, "you coulda sat between them!!"
"They woulda stopped talkin' and you know it!"
"Did you hear anything?????"
In his mind he did the right thing.


He wants to change banks....after 15 years with our current one...he wants to change.

"It's the only way I'll get to to see the Gym Ho."

Tough TeeTees, Roy!! Tough TeeTees!!


Katy said...

I love it! My husband would never to listen to a conversation with me, but he has sat completely silent through a dinner so I could eavesdrop on a another table:)

MizAngie said...

Is an icebox thingy the same thing as an xbox? Hahahhahahaha!!!

Miss Thystle said...

are you POSITIVE we don't share a husband? And you've got the "good" twin? because mine does the same thing. Just look in the garage. And the shed. And the "man room"...