Friday, July 31, 2009


I need to do a bio on the Esty shop.
I need a PR Person.
I'm at a loss.
I'm not one to toot my own horn....NO Really, I'm not.
You'll notice there's not a profile bio for this thing either.

And those that have my bags that were gifts or that didn't buy them thru Esty can't leave remarks.

But I could use a testimonial!
So If you have one of my bags. Email me one.
I'll use it as part of my bio.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Manly Meals For Manly Men...

He said, "What's for supper?"
I said, "I thought I'd just make sandwiches. It's too hot to cook."

"Oh Man! I need a manly meal!"
I smiled, "What manly thing have you done today to justify a manly meal?"

He stood there thinkin' about it.
He smiled, "Give me a minute."

I could tell the wheels were turnin'.

He finally said, "I need it for later. I'm stockpilin' it for when I do the manly things."

Ooooh riiiight.

He got a ham egg and cheese sandwich.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Bug...

Not sure what it was huge!! But not as big a rhinoceros beetle.
He had come in from doin' whatever it is he does outside.
Shed his clothes....placin' his jeans on the love seat.
Took a brief shower.
And then attempted a nap....all of which took 30 minutes.

As much as he wants to sleep, he can't.

Seriously, 30 minutes.
He put the jeans back on.
Felt something hard on his right thigh.
And when he reached inside to see what in the world it was, it crawled!!!
He came outta those jeans lickety split!

And capture that beast!
Brought it into the kitchen where I was doin' whatever it is I do in there...and said, "Look was in my jeans!!!!"

We are not sure if he brought it in on his jeans earlier or if it came in the house on its own.

After pictures, he took it outside to be released into the wild.

If it had been something furry, he'da bashed it's brains in...but a bug...he gets all Zen!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Up At The ButtCrack Of Dawn???

Good question!!
Roy's been sleepin' on the couch becuz of some weird allergy thingy.

No allergy medicine will put a stop to it.

And he fidgets.

And wakes me up.

Which is why worse than any weird allergy he was awake puttin' up cedar fencin'.

And I don't sleep well without him to snuggle with most of the night....when he's not fidgetin'.

Yep, he was up puttin' up cedar fencin' at the buttcrack of dawn while I took pictures.

The ButtCrack of Dawn....

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Some People Should Turn In Their Name!!!!!!

hehehe ...funny you should mention "milkin'". Roy did get his nipples tweaked!
I got slapped on the ass...twice!

That HappyWife is so much fun!!

So I went to mail a package the other day at the local post office. I was not thrilled by the experience.
"Honey, that Postmaster is about as friendly as a pet rock."
"She's a government employee."
"But Honey, she's named Robin! She's a redhead with freckles! She should be all sunshine and know, friendly!"
"But she's still a government employee."

She does not carry the name proudly and with fun and excitement.
She should change her name to something like Gertrude or Esmeralda.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Pool, Mean Little Bastards, and Water Bugs...

So to make sure we are all on the same page....I have a swimmin' pool.

As much as I talk about it, my niece didn't believe me!!
Yeah, she's not real bright.

There are bugs that go with havin' a pool.
Yeah! I didn't know that either!!
There are these little flyin' bee lookin' things that land in the pool and can't get out. They are so pissed off about it that they float around on their backs with their stinger in the air....waitin' for some unsuspectin' gal to float by on her floatie and sting her ass!!
Quite Literally!
Before we get in the pool Roy stands outside of it and dips them out....for about 15 minutes!! One day he counted 715!!
Yeah, he's that sorta guy!!
He's so hairy that if he gets in and one of the mean little bastards gets in his hair he's stung 6 times over before he gets free of it!
Mean little bastards!!!
Then there are the actually water bugs....they live in the pool. They seem to be friendly becuz they will swim right up to you. If you try to catch them they dive deeper into the little things.
But if you do something they do not out!!
I kid you not... They bite!
I had one caught in the ties of my top! I had that bite on my stomach for days!!
One day, I caused one to drop its bug....they apparently eat the mean little bastards...the dead ones.
When it dropped its bug, it charged at me!!
It bumped me 3 times before I could get away from it!!
I didn't want bit again!
But the oddest thing that they did was the day Roy was in the pool dippin' out the mean stingin' bugs was when they surrounded me!!
I kid you not!!!!
I went to sqealin' for Roy to come and catch them....and by the time he got to my side of the pool the Armada WaterBugs and signaled "Dive! Dive! Dive!" and was gone!!!!

But the most freakiest thing to ever happen was the day I was pickin' up rocks with my toes...some how rocks get in the pool.....I have a feelin' that when Roy mows, he picks up a few and sends them sailin' into the pool!
So I was pickin' up rocks with my toes....I was walkin' along and stepped on something hard and just picked it up.....Put it in my hand to see what it was....when it unfurled!!!!!!

A freakin' spider!!!!!
I dropped it!!!
It started crawlin' on the bottom!!!!

That was the last time I picked up anything from the bottom of the pool.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

QueenVicky, The BeeHiveLady, and Special Tote Bags...

One of the BeeHiveLadies called me the other day to ask for a couple of tote bags.

Oh, by the way, The MerryWidow and I broke up.
I told you I was not happy with the way she reacted to the death of my granddaughter and wished that she would never call me again....well, yeah.
That's what happened.
I do not kid around about certain things and so we parted company.

So there's only one left in the Hive that I have anything to do with....and she's as good as gold to me....and Roy.

She also buys my totes....LOTS!!!

So she had another request...mother/daughter totes for someone special. I told her I'd get right on it just as soon as I returned from OKC. It was RoySr's 86th Birthday so we had to make that trip down the turnpike.

And I thought it would be nice to make QueenVictoria a tote.

A gift.
Isn't it the cutest??
It's really bright!!
She looked it over and gushed that it was pretty.
And then set it aside.
Way another room.

I ask her if she would carry it to Church. I want Stephanie and Jen to see it. QueenVicky stopped what she was doing and crooked her finger at me to follow her outta the room, lead me down the hall and whispered in my ear, "yellow is not my color."

That's right!
Yellow is not her color.
QV took one of the "tests" in HomeEc...probably in the 40's....that told her yellow was not a good color for her complexion.
And she has led her whole life by that fact.

Do you know there is not one color in the whole spectrum that I will not wear!!

Now I took all this really well. I am used to her.
After 15 years, I pretty used to it... her "straight forward, damn the torpedoes, cut you to the bone insults".....and was not insulted.

I have a "oh well fuck it" attitude...a drop back and punt sorta gal.

"Let's go thru your closet and see what colors you have so I can make you a bag more to your liking."
Denim! QV loves denim.
I have everything I need to make her a bag...not one that I think she'll carry to Church but when she takes a trip to the next flower show, she'll be set.

The yellow polka dot....The BeeHiveLady will love it!!
I made a smaller bag to match it ....about the size of a lunch bag for a "daughter" bag.
So cute.
It's dark outside, So I haven't taken a photo of it.

MzThystle....the moment I saw that cat fabric I thought about dogs! I wish I could find a whimsical fabric like that with dogs! So the search is on.

I have extra cat fabric and will make another one. I really enjoy makin' the special request bags. Flowers, horses, wine bottles....yesterday I finished an extra large bag for the HappyWife to use as a beach bag.

Becca bought a bag!!
I'm so thrilled!!
I was doin' the happy dance and everything.
Roy was like not so thrilled....he just hates the internet.
So I said, "Remember that woman that sent the necklace and cheese at Christmas?"
"Yeah I guess so."
"She bought the Chenille bag!"
"So it like family?"
"Yeah... like family."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Life In The Cat Box...

Cat Nappin' is serious business!!!
He allows me to sit on that little bit of chair.

One day...

He'll figure it out!

Always inspectin' the goods.

So when I found this material.....
I had to have it...for a bag of my own.


The flora and fauna around the pool.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Zippers, Reunions, and Missin' Husbands...

So Roy and I went to this reunion. The kind where you meet and greet classmates and old friends and their spouses.
An unorganized gatherin' of people.
Roy hates these sorta things.
He was not a social person in high school and was not tickled by going with me.
Me on the other a social butterfly!!
I love school.
It was a lot like my PC....that's where all my friends were!

Once we got to the reunion I lost track of's not like we're joined at the hip or anything.

We've been sayin' that a lot lately.
He said it first.... which I was totally shocked that HE said it....becuz we do everything together.
He's my best friend.

But as I mingled around the room laughin' and havin' a good time, I lost track of him. I figured he was chattin' it up with some big boob gal in the corner. So he was happy.
As I was talkin' to an old friend, a young woman came up that she knew...the younger woman looked familiar but I couldn't quite place her.
They were talkin' about body piercin's and the younger woman had a "zipper" put in.
Now you know I'm no prude.
And I've been around the block a time or two.
But I had no idea what a "zipper" would be....I had to see it!

Everyone blushed.
OH God What Have I Gotten My Self Into Now??!!??
This can't be good.
But in the spirit of the moment and a few Rum and Cokes, I'm game for just about anything.
So this young woman took me aside and started to undress.
I'm startin' to panic!!
Oh Holy Shit!! Where is this "zipper"?

She pulled down her pants and showed me her "Business" area!!
Pulled back a bandage to show me her clit!!
It had a small dangly angel hangin' from it like a pull chain on a kid's coat!!!!
It was just swingin'!!

All I could think was "Where the Hell is Roy?"

And then I woke up.

The young woman is the person that cuts the fabric at MaterialStore....she's very friendly. But I don't really think she'd show me her "business".
I have no clue why I would refer to a clit piercin' as a zipper.

Hormonal influx=Bizarre dreams.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Dear MizAngie,

I received a letter today from the OldFolks. They've been to a flower show, worked in the neighbor's yard, she got her hair fixed and she bought him new shirts for church.
Good Times!!

And you will not believe what the HappyBaby said to me today, "I love you, you're so silly."
Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!!!
Even after I told her not to pee in the pool or put gum on my deck again!!

And now me and Roy are puttin' up corn.

Really just good times all around.

Gotta go water my zinnias in Farmville on Facebook.

Sincerely from One sarastic bitch!!
Love and Hugs,

PS: Sometimes I just sit here with my blog open adoring it becuz it's just so pretty I just can't bear to leave it....becuz you know it's all about me.

NH ;}

It's an inside have to be there.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I Added A Couple More Bags...

Check Them Out!!

My sister called this am, upset. Grandpa wanted something the doctor told him he couldn't have!!
He has a breathin' problem and over the years, he's been usin' an will. He was over medicatin' himself!
Well now he thinks he's dyin'!!!
Becuz he doctor....a lung specialist took off all the inhalers!!!
RubyJune is stressed! Tryin' to do the right thing in keepin' that cranky old man alive.
Granny is stressed! Becuz of all the bitchin' that Grandpa does....he's not a nice man. He's a bully of the worst kind!
And of course he's stressed.

The only person that I'm concerned about is Granny....and well, RubyJune.
So what do you do?
Let the cranky fart have his way only to further damage his lungs just to keep him quiet??
Or for RubyJune to hold her ground and not give into his demands??

I'm glad I live as far away from it all as I do!!

Thursday, July 09, 2009

3 Things I Don't Get About My Grandpa...

1) When did it become OKAY to see you're Grandpa's nekked ass?

Roy said, "When they turn 80."
I totally disagree and I still have not seen it.
But nurses thought I should be the one to help him use the bedpan.
What part of "I'm Not Paid To Do That" do you not understand???

2)Why do old men have to make themselves more important than they really are???
My grandpa thinks he was the one to have my uncle taken off life support.
He wasn't even at the hospital!!!!!

3)Why do old men think they know what's best for themselves despite what the doctors say???
He thought he needed more breathin' treatments than they did, that he was gonna die if he didn't, though he was in the hospital in the first place so that they could save his cranky ass!!!

And I got in my car and went home....he drives me crazy!!!

By the way, he went home yesterday after 14 days.
And honestly, I think they sent him home just to get him outta their hair!!!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

You Tell Me...

One of my neighbors caught me as I was walkin' into the gym, and she said, "I don't know how long you've live there, but I just now saw that you have a pool!"

She sounded mad.
Like I shouldn't have one.

The Nerve!
"I told my husband, 'They have a pool'! When did that happen?"

I wasn't sure exactly how to react but to invite her over.

Why can't I have a pool??
I get hot too.
G'Dub gave me money. I stimulated the economy!

By the way, You are always welcome in my pool.


Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Catchin' Up With Roy....

Oh Yeah Baby....there's a photo!!

Skinny dippin' in the pool at midnight!
The water was sooooo perfect!!

A bottle of coconut rum.
So relaxing!!!!

And a dumb blonde.

I fell down the steps on the deck.

Right after Roy said, "Be careful and don't fall!"


Sunday, July 05, 2009

Sorry Folks!!

Try again.....

I hope to add more in a few days.

The Link worked for me.
So I hope it does for you.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

And She Jumped In With Both Feet!!!

I finally got my ducks in a row.

I only have a couple up right now.
I have others I just have to get around to add them.

I sure hopes this works out.