I'm not gonna try to fool like I have in the past and tell you in the end, "And Then I Woke Up." becuz the funny part of all of it was what happened when I woke up.
So I was layin' on the bed, tryin' to sleep. But Roy was makin' way too much noise for me to sleep.
He can be so exasperatin' at times!!
I rolled over and looked up at the ceilin'....Holy Beans and Farts!!!
There was a friggin' snake twisted up in the light fixture!!!
I had to yell for Roy!!
But I didn't want the freakin' snake to get scared and drop on me!
So I tried like a wildfire outta control to get Roy's attention....he was standin' just outside the bedroom fiddlin' with the door!!!
He couldn't hear me for the all the noise that the fan and A/C was makin'...with his bad hearin' and all.
But the freakin' snake.....dropped and landed right beside me!!!
Holy Friggin' Shit!!!!!!
I was makin' all sorts of noises to get Roy to come rescue me and my hair!!! If you know anything about me, I'm all about my hair.
And there was a friggin' snake in it!!!!
And just before I had the massive heart attack that sent me to Hell in Hand Basket....I woke up.
With Roy sayin', "Baby, you can't sleep all day. Get up."
I mumble, "Honey, There's a snake in my hair!!"
"It's 8:30. Baby, you hafta get up."
"Honey, Get it out. There's a snake in my hair!!"
"No Baby, there's not a snake in your hair. Get up. The GymHo will be at the gym."
And the whinin' started...mention the GymHo and I'm gonna whine...So he started rubbin' my butt.
"But Baby, there's no snake in your hair. I swear. Are you even awake?"
"I'm totally awake! You didn't come save me from the freakin' snake and you expect me to get up and go to gym becuz the friggin' GymHo is there?? I don't wanna get up!"
"But Baby, I'm right here and there's no snake in your hair. I would never let a snake get in your hair."
"I don't feel good. I'm on fire. And you let a snake get in my hair!"
"Oh no Baby, you not on fire and there's no snake in your hair and you FEEL great!! Do you wanna do it?"