Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Church Of The Holy Nadine...

That has a catchy ring to it.
Doncha think so??

Long time back we were watchin' CSI and there was these two guys, George and Steve and they formed a Church, The Church of the Holy George and Steve being jealous knock George out...he didn't kill him just whacked him good and left in him the desert....but that's just not the point to all of this.

It's about me.
It's always about me.

The Church of the Holy Nadine.
Does this mean I have to be a virgin??

But hey, it's my Church. I can set the rules.....or guidelines really.

Let's see....
1) Thou shall respect other women....except GymHo's, SkinnyBitches, and TeenageGirls.
Just becuz they get on my nerves.

2) Thou shall or is it shalt...that so doesn't sound right....Whatever!
Thou shalt forsake scales...never ever step on one...ever!
I don't know about the rest of you, but THE second I step on the scales to check my progress from all the dietin' and exercisin' ...becuz I feel so good and my clothes are so loose....I just have to check it.
THE SECOND I step on I am possessed by a fat woman with Turrets!
Okay, that's not right and spellcheck isn't helpin' me.

3) Thou shalt always grope and fondle all cute shoes, purses, furs... and try them on.

4) Thou shalt have real gems....not lab created for those that dare to join The Church of the Holy Nadine.

5) Thou shalt oogle all handsome gropin' or fondlin' unless he's payin' for the cute shoes, purses and furs!! And the real gems!!

And that's all I can come up with so far.
It's not like I have a burnin' bush or anything guidin' me.

Okay... at times.


Bird said...

I bet your baptisms are a blast!!!

Proto said...

My hands just can't quite provide the gems and joys this church requires. Thought about it though...

Tracie said...

Sounds good! I'm in!

Miss Thystle said...

Me too!

Gina (Mannyed) said...

May I have an application?

MizAngie said...

So goes the word of Nadine. Let us live by the word. Ha!

I'm not sure if havin' a "burnin' bush" would be a good thing or not. Sounds kinda itchy to me. Ha!