Thursday, March 26, 2009

SwimSuit 101...

It's that time of year. Time to think about swimsuits....Mostly, how much weight needs to come off to get into the damn thing!

There was a time when I didn't even own a swimsuit. But when we bought the pool, I had to have one. I have so many now I've lost count.

When I buy one I buy it 2 sizes bigger than my dress size.
Think about it.
Your nekked!!
Things do not need to hang out!!
Boobs will pop out but my butt???
We have a criteria that we follow also.
I say we.... Me and Roy.

"Friend and Family Approved"
The suit covers all the necessary parts and do not cause any shame to any one. They are normally one piece.
I have no shame.
But There are Those that Do and I have to Conform.

"Vacation Approved"
A little more revealin'..... But still coverin' my ass.
There are some 2 pieces...I love Tankinis!!!
I love those with little skirts!!
But they can be worn while on vacation.
Hey! It's not like we're gonna see those people ever again!
The man on the Mexican beach that helped me get the sand outta my bottoms, he may be an Okie but I couldn't pick him outta a book of mugshots.

Mick the Drunk Aussie...never again. He looked like a Marc Andrews model. YUMMY.

The Hot Fireman from Houston on the ToplessDeck....was he ever fine!
F. I. N. E. Fine!!
Smokin' Matthew McConaughey-ish

Never again.
Damn it.

"For Roy's Eyes Only"
Tiny and so not coverin' my ass.
My boobs come out every where....well they pop out with Family Friendly Suits.
One rouge wave in Maui and Poof!! RoySr has seen as much as the Fireman on the ToplessDeck!
What's a girl to do???
'nuf said.

So last year when I went out shoppin' for a new swimsuit cover up, I came home with 2 new suits and no cover up.
Funny how that happens.
I broke the rules of good shoppin' sense when it comes to swimwear.....I bought a white suit!!
And didn't try it on!!!

I know!!

I should give up my Professional Shopper's Card but I only paid $5 for it!!!!!!!
Anne Klein for $5!!!!
White or not it was too cute not to have! Belted Flirty little skirted bottom!
So when I got home, I tried it on. If I had tried it on in the store I wouldn't have bought it.
As I stood there in the mirror I thought, "maybe if I lose 5 pounds". Roy was more skeptical about that!
It was Approved for his Eyes Only....I agreed.

and then.... He made me go the gym and tortured me with diet and exercise....and 20 pounds came off....The white swimsuit has been upgraded to Vacation Approved!!!

Well, it hasn't been in the water yet, so the upgrade could be revoked.


jenX67 said...

I'd "stumble" this post if you had a button. Swimsuits = nightmares - no matter how much weight i lose.

Bobby's Dream said...

WOoHOOOO! How exciting! You hot thing you!

Me, never in a million years will I be in a swimsuit in public.


Miss Thystle said...

That's because Adrienne swims in the nekkid. No kidding.

White swimsuit = see through very often, so better check it wet before you wear it anywhere!

Tracie said...

vacation=white swim suit=bikinni wax=nuff said!

Gina (Mannyed) said...

I love your bathing suit ratings!

Bird said...

Right now I have one swim suit period. When I'm skinnier I tend to have more suits!

Stefunkc said...

Sadly, I own a pool and only have two swimsuits. They fit every category. I'm working right now to be new tattoo and new swimsuit ready. I might travel into that 'Shawn Only' area!

Sherrie said...

Nadine I need help!!!! I've been going to Curves since November and have been watching what I eat, and have only lost a total of 6 pounds. It's killin' me!!! Seriously, womanchild graduates the end of June. I wanted to buy a pretty dress, but nothing I try looks pretty anymore.......ugh.....if I could only get rid of this freakin' spare tire.

Oh and I think I want one of these blogs instead of my old one. I need an all over overhaul!