Wednesday, February 04, 2009

This Is A Crappy Subject!!

Have you seen the commercials for Alli with ThatJuddWoman??

She says something about not wantin' to endorse something she didn't herself use and believe in...but she doesn't tell you everything!!

Well thank all that is Good And Holy that you have me. I have tried to make it my mission in life to inform those around me of the good, the bad and the ugly....if I don't tell you how will you know! You'll be on your own, the shit will hit the fan and wonder why didn't someone say something!!
I know I do!
By the way....Wine Freezes!! I had to find that out on my own!!

Others shy away from the subject, so it's left to the way, this is UGLY!!

The ugly truth!!

A couple of years ago, my sister, RubyJune said, "Can you tell I have lost weight?"

Yes, I could...I was not happy about it but it was obvious....I chalked it up to her having a swimmin' pool installed and was slimmin' down to look good in her Bitinies....that's what my Granny calls them.....and RubyJune does...damn it!

She continues on with her secret of slimness, "I have been takin' the Alli pills."

You do realize this is a pill designed for obese women and not some 130 pounder....that just wants to lose 5 pounds.....So I said, "I just started them yesterday."

She smiled!! She had a secret!!! Just like ThatJuddWoman!!

"Have you pooped?" She said.

Do you talk like that with your sister????
Or is just me and mine????

"No, not yet."

She just smiled. "Let me know when you do!"
There are no secrets between us....well sorta. I did tell her about my blog but she refuses to come and read it. She'll have the proverbial cow when she does.

But.....A couple of days later, I emailed her, "It's like Taco Grease!"

"Yep that's it!!"

There was more, I told her, "And whatever you do, DON NOT FART!!!!"

So did I lose weight?
That would be a yes!!
I was too afraid to eat for fear of what, how, and when it would come out!!!!

Be afraid, Be very afraid!!!!

ThatJuddWoman isn't gonna say a thing!!! That her poop is the same color as her hair!!

Proceed with caution!
Anything else you need to know?


Mary Moore said...

I am so thrilled that you gave us this information. I will make sure to never darken Alli's door.

Taco grease? Feh.

Billie said...

I think I don't need to know anymore. Perhaps I didn't even need to know that!

I used to take Meridia to lose weight and I ate less because if I didn't I felt like throwing up. Even if I wanted more dessert or whatever... fear of that feeling kept me from overeating.

Negative feedback can be just as motivating as positive feedback.

ReRe said...

hahaha. i too wondered why ms. judd wasn't revealing the whole truth, aka "treatment effects" -- i think that is what Alli calls them. the box also says to wear "dark colored pants"! hahahahah. craziness.

Miss Thystle said...

and that my love is why I stay fat.

maggie's mind said...

Hehehe, and now we know. You've done a good thing.

Tracie said...

And that would be why I haven't tried the little pill. I kinda thought it would be loosey goosey! Thanks for the crappy info! LOL

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO!!!! I too know of what you speak!!!

Idabel Oklahoma said...

hahahahaha! OMG we're having a crappy...hahaha..crappy day and you just made it better. SAme color as her hair...hahahahaha!

Bird said...

Yuck. Seriously, having a bigger ass isn't teh worst thing in the world.

Kelly said...

I understand completely. I took Xenical for a month years ago. NEVER again...

binks said...

My husband and I bought Alli last year and tried it. We not lose an ounce of weight or have the "oily stools" promised on the bottle. I'm thinking we got a tainted bottle.
BTW - there is never a time in the past 20 years that my sister & I haven't discussed farting in every conversation we've had. Odd but true. Drives my husband batty.