Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It's Not Easy For Me To Admit This....

And it's bad enough that I have my mother's legs!!
They are not Tina Turner's legs by any means!!

But my flaw....It's just horrible!!

When I became involved with Roy, I had to break it to him gently. I didn't want to scare him off!!
We had been intimate....and I thought that it was time to tell him before we became emotionally tied....it could be a deal breaker.

So I sat there all rolled up in his bedsheets, frettin' about how to tell him.
I gently, broke the news, "Roy, Honey, I have something I need to show you."
From the tone in my voice, he knew I was quite serious.
"What is it?"
I stood up and turned around and showed him.
I was near tears.
"My left butt cheek sags."
I was mortified!!!

And that was the very first time he rolled his eyes at me!!!

"Oh That! I noticed that right off."
"Really??"
I could have died right there!!!

"No, you silly Twit!"

Why can't men see that it's earth shatterin'!?!?!?
See my drawin' to the right??
That's a self portrait!!!!

Over the years Roy and I have long discussions about my saggin' butt cheek....he thinks it's the way I twist in the mirror....yeah right!!!
He's all the time tellin' me stand straight....and when I can't see it he tells me it's gone....he lies like a dog!!

I could feel it!!!

Last week.....
I was bent over the bathtub combin' out cats durin' one of their conventions...they have gatherin's in the tub....it's quite funny, all 6 in there. George is growlin' the whole time becuz it's his tub.
All that hissin' and spittin'....
But anyway, I was combin' them. Roy was watchin' the whole thing.
"Hey Babe! Whatever you're doin' at the gym for your butt, it's workin'!! It's shapin' up quite nicely."

Well of course I had to look!
I had to check the cheek!
He's right!!
The shape is changin'!!
The saggin' ass cheek is pullin' it's self up!!!!
It will be heart shaped in no time!!

I thought I was doomed forever!!

Vanity, thy name is Nadine.

13 comments:

Billie said...

You are a scream!

I need to get my butt cheeks to the gym. I almost did yesterday until I blew an hour driving home from work in the morning to look for Eduardo's pay cheque that blew out of bag. No gym with my schedule blown like that

ARGH!!!

But I love the fact that people here are dirt lazy. A dog literally walked over the cheque (paw print on cheque) and its owner never stooped over to pick it up. In fact it was about 3 inches from the sidewalk and not one person got inclined to pick up the garbage and throw it out. Lucky me!!!

Miss Thystle said...

You know, that's one of the reasons that I just love men, they're so oblivious.

The reason that I hate them? THEY ARE SO FREAKIN' OBLIVIOUS.

Gina (Mannyed) said...

well I guess a new shapely arse is a good motivation tool!

ReRe said...

work that shapely toosh girl! work it!

Ace said...

One of the funnier posts I've read in a while - awesome!

Jane! said...

That's IT!?!?
My left one has a little crease under it that nicely holds my underwear in place... not so on the right one. I think it is because my right leg is shorter. How's that for a flaw???

Jeankfl said...

LOL You crack me up! We can enumerate ALL our own flaws, but men really don't notice! I've been doing the combing cats thing too.. *sigh* they're such pains in the newly shaped butt, aren't they?
hugs,
Jean

Kelly said...

There is a reason I have no full length mirrors in my house. In all the mirrors here, you can only see yourself from the shoulders up...which is sometimes still too much.

Congrats on your symmetrical butt cheeks! ;)

Lorrie Veasey said...

My butt cheeks are like a giant smile

with multiple dimples.

Billie said...

Do you know hard it is to leave your blogs and history behind? Damn hard! If it wasn't so hard... I would be off MSN in a flash. I really hate the fact that you can no longer see your latest comments. I could live without everything else including the 2 minute search for the place to click to get to spaces.

We shall see...

Bird said...

You are killing me with this business. A sagging butt cheek! So funny.

You making me wanna go work out, though.

Becca said...

You are hilarious!

Liquid said...

Honey, I go back and forth with my weight.

At one point I had to lift my ass just to dry off the back of my knees!

You go girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!