Monday, December 29, 2008

I'll Fight For You!!!

So we pull up to the post office and some man is already in the post office....lookin' at us pull in....Roy's instantly ticked!
Why?
I don't know.
Paranoia.
"What are you lookin' at, Asshole?"
"It's alright, Honey. I'll kick his ass for you while I'm in there!"

So I go in.
Wait in line while the man conducts his business.....very slowly. He's apparently not a dealin' with a full a deck cards at life's poker table.
But I wait patiently.....I can do that....be patient.
I noticed that he had one arm in a cast....hhhhhmmmm........
After the man was done he still stood there.....fumblin' with his wallet.....and countin' his stamps....I waited patiently.
The PostMistress motioned for me to step forward.
And I did....and I was done and out the door.
When I got back in the truck, I told Roy, "That took longer than I wanted becuz I took my time to kick his ass and then I had to help put his arm in a sling!"

And the man walked out and got in his truck.
"See, I broke his arm for you! I'll fight for you, Baby!!

He rolled his eyes.

Today, while at the gym there was these guys....two men workin' out next to my bicycle thingy. I'm not intimidated by anyone so I go do my thing!
Well okay, SkinnyBitches sometimes get to me.
And I would pee my pants if BradPitt crossed my path.
But normal average people I keep my shit together.....for the most part.
So I just got on my bicycle thingy, set it's program, put my earthingys in, and started readin' my magazine.
About 10 minutes into it, I'm hot! I need air!!
There is a fan behind me so I turn to see where it's pointed.....and there's a man!!!
One of those guys!!!
Starin' right at me!!!
Why is he starin' at me???
And when I move my head to look around him, he doesn't move!
He just keeps starin'!!!
What the fuck????
I turn to look at Roy....surely he sees this!!
But nooooooooo!!!!!
When I finally get his attention, I give the appropriate head nods, disgruntled mouth twitches and eye movements so he knows I'm not happy!!!

He gets down from his treadmill and walks over to the fan and moves it so It blows on me.

Later when we're on the way home, I fill him in on the details of that man.
"So you didn't really want the fan? You wanted me to kick his ass?"

DUH!!!
I'd do it for you!!!

9 comments:

Kelly said...

Men are clueless aren't they? We're just better off fighting our own battles, but at least he made the attempt..lol.

Gina (Mannyed) said...

lololol! You put some guys arm in a sling and he moves the fan over for you, haha. Next time he'll get him.

Miss Thystle said...

well at least he moved the fan! That's something!

Jane! said...

He was probably just mesmerized by your hotness.

Jeankfl said...

I think Jane's right.. they were all just mesmerized by your hotness, and fitness!!LOL Hope you had a decent Christmas!
hugs,
Jean

The Gaelic Wife said...

Oh so funny! But somehow too familiar. So what's a Marilyn like? If you posted your results, you'll have to give me the direct link.

Sherrie said...

You just KNOW he was checkin' out your Ass!!!!!

Mary Moore said...

My guy has a PhD, and he is absolutely clueless so much of the time. It's in their genes.

Becca said...

Men are so clueless sometimes, I swear and honey I don't swear unless I am really really mad!