Friday, December 05, 2008

And I'm Not The Only One That They Drive Nuts...

Roy's the one that enacted the "ScooterAlert"!

And I take great pride in the fact that I didn't!!

Alert#3:

"Scooter Called!! The Oven is On and We've Got To Go...NOW!!"

After dinner, the women folk were in the house talkin' about babies and weddin's...you know....women talk.
The men folk were outside talkin' about killin' deer and chainsaws...so totally frickin' borin'!!

Roy would come in from time to time to refresh is drink...DrPepper is the Nectar of the Gods!
But the last time he came in, he looked totally flushed and outta sorts.
I cornered him in the kitchen! "Did Scooter Call?"

"Scooter Called!!" he replied!!!

And he walked in the room where everyone had gathered and announced that we were leavin' as Scooter had call to say we were needed at home.

And out the door we went!!
One Bourbon, One Shot, One Beer!

Once we were outta OKC and a few miles up the Turnpike, he spilled his guts.
Apparently, RoySr had bought into one of the cure all potions....the fountain of youth in a bottle. The man is 85!
He'll believe anything!!
So he gave his credit card number to a SnakeOilSalesman for this CureAll and he'll be receivin' a 30day supply every month....which is billed automatically to his CC!!!

If Roy had hair....he would have pulled it all out!!
RoySr is the biggest penny-pincher that ever walked on the face of the Earth!! That man had a kanniption in the Denver Airport of the cost of a HoneyBun that embarrassed not only Roy but QueenVicky and the man sellin' HoneyBuns!!!!!
Annnnnnd......he has guarded his CCnumber all these years only to give it away for junk!!!

Roy couldn't take one more moment with those people.

And to put the cherry on top of it all....all of Roy's life with those people he has had a "poor" life... the life of preacher's son. They seem to do without a lot of things that you or I have taken for granted, to live their life in the service of the Lord....so many things have been "recycled"....I think now they call it "Free-gans"....Food from Dumpsters. RoySr sees that food as wasted so he takes it home.....only to give away his life savin' to a SnakeOilSalesman when he's an old man!!
One the things Roy and I do on the way home...we have a 3 hour drive home...is try to guess what food we were served actual came from the trash.

Is it any wonder we don't visit more???

Honorable mention:
"What the Hell?" Goes to QueenVictoria.
She wrapped her yams in foil and placed them in the microwave and luckily, she turned to me to ask how long she cooked them.
When I told her what she did....I might was well have showed her my penis!
The look on her face would have been horror either way.

Those People Drive Me Nuts!!

And after Roy told me about the CC and the SnakeOil, we both took a deep breath.
I look at each him, and said, "That whole trip really wasn't so bad, was it?"

He agreed.

We've had worse!!

6 comments:

Bj in Dallas said...

Hi Nadine!
You must let us know what happened to Roy Sr and if you could cancel the snake oil-
don't feel bad, I've had some really weird holidays with the soon to be Ex In Laws, who I have referred to as the Adamms Family more than once....

Jane! said...

Oh. My. You definitely win the prize for bad Thanksgiving trip. I had to take a couple extra crazy pills just reading about it.

Billie said...

I wouldn't be horrified if you showed me your penis. I would be amazed and stunned.... I want a penis too!!!

I am so glad that RoySr and the Queen exist. They make me laugh my ass off.

I hope that things are looking up for you and EdithAnne

Jeankfl said...

My dad did the same thing.. got the snake oil.. They seem to lose all sense when they hit 80! Good times a'comin'! At least you didn't call the Scooter alert..
hugs,
Jean

Becca said...

Sent to Facebook!

Bird said...

Ummmmm. . . I SUCH a ginormous food snob that I would absolutely refuse to eat one thing if I thought something MAY have come out of the garbage. I don't even like to eat things that have been in the microwave. I wouldn't have needed valium just to survive the day--even if I didnt' eat.