Thursday, November 06, 2008

Sleeping Habits...

Did you pick up on that wake up time??
1 freackin' 30!!!!

It's a problem I've had for years. I think it has lots to do with hormones.
And not the good ones that are fun....those ragin' teenage hormones that got me pregnant!
But the evil, nasty, and mean ones. The ones that drive SuperMoodyBitch!!
The ones that make me feel like I'm packin' around 50pound boobs!!
I got googled for that once.
Who would want that??
My sleepin' habits or lack of sleep is most certainly connected to my menstrual cycle. The closer I get to the magic date the less I sleep. It doesn't matter if I take a sleepin' aid or just doesn't happen.
And I'm not comfortable at all. Everything hurts!
My hips, boobs, and even my hair hurts!

Add to that I am and always have been a light sleeper.
Sometimes the fan will blow my hair just the wrong way. That causes my brain to start thinking. "I have hair there!"
"Am I gonna hafta shave there too!?"
Once I wake up...I'm up! For hours!

And then to put the cherry on the top of my misery...Roy fidgets.
For years I put up with it....overlooked it becuz he's just awesome!
I worship the ground he walks upon.....and then he woke me up one night fidgetin'.
It's so bad that I counted one night how many times he moved. And compared to how many times I was like 35 to 1!!
And after I lost count of his movements at about 115, I had to say something.
"Honey." In a pleasant voice, "Would count how many times I move?"
He was real quiet.

"Honey, compare that number to the amount of times you move."
And he's real sharp. He didn't move another muscle!

That was 5 years ago.

But the other night, He musta had a lapse in sanity.
I'm not sure what happened but I woke up at 1 freakin' 30.
It wasn't long after that he started movin' his feet....not just a slide but a thump.
Every 3 seconds.
And then the rollin' started....he had his back to me.
Then he had his knees towards me.
And his back again.

He didn't know it....but he was sleepin' with SuperMoodyBitch!!

When he flipped the covers back at about 3am to get outta bed that was all she wrote.

SuperMoodyBitch flipped the covers back on her side and hit the floor before Roy.
He didn't say one word.
He backed up against the wall and hoped that SuperMoodyBitch didn't see him.
I think he was holdin' his breath, hopin' and prayin' that he would live thru whatever was about to happen!
Instead of rippin' him to shreds she went to pee.
He made a break for live and fight another day....And sleep on the couch or watch TV or take a bath. I don't know, He just wasn't fidgetin' in my bed anymore!


Jane! said...

He should just throw chocolate over his shoulder and make a run for it.

Bird said...

My mom, her dad and brother, and my brother all have insomnia. We can sleep fine--in the middle of the day. At night, however, we're ready to go. It sucks. Ambien would help, but I know I'd become an addict.

Those hormones sound like the third trimester of pregnancy--uck!

Anonymous said...

Funny indeed.

Even married, I never once slept with a woman comfortably. Too hot for one thing, but they moved constantly.

I mentioned I lived alone for 30 years now and sleep when I am tired.

The smartest thing I have "ever" done was get my "old lady" her own house and visit only...never stay overnight and never let them stay here overnight either.

Sure enough, when they gathered up all they needed from me they were gone.


Now I'm up or down when I feel like complaints allowed?

I go to bed about 1:30 am and up at longest stretch of sound sleep.

I think men are night hunters internally....David.

Miss Thystle said...

Poor Roy! You should have a super moody bitch sign, so that's he's forewarned!

M&Co. said...


Ace said...

Ever since we've had kids I've been a light sleeper (lol, 6 years ago!). But not quite to this extreme, thank goodness. Hope you find some rest :-)

ReRe said...

it was like you were sleeping in my bed last night. i had this same tussel with my hubby.

MizAngie said...

I hate restless nights. Ugh. I'm a fidgeter. Flip, flop, sigh, toss a pillow here, toss a pillow there, cover up, uncover, cover back up, left side, right side. Miserable. Sometimes Timber jumps down so he can get some rest. Ha!!

See ya in 5-7 days when SuperMoodyBitch has been & gone. Hahahhaha!!

Jeankfl said...

Poor Roy.. I'm kind of surprised he doesn't already know Jane's advice is the best way to handle it! Men are so clueless, sometimes..
I've heard that place is great.. I hadn't heard that about Tiramisu.. sucks.. just what we need.. another one..