Wednesday, November 19, 2008

For Emergency Use Only....

A while back Roy was up on top of the house fiddlin' with the antenna, and noticed that the chimney had a crack in it. He now had something else to worry about.
Tryin' to "harvest" a deer....The LandOwner put such restrictions on him he hasn't killed anything but time....He worries about that.
Frettin' over the recent break-in's in the area....everyone that drives by "looks" like someone that will kick in our back door and rob us blind. Like I want those thievin' neighbors to take anymore of my lawn furniture....Roy just rolled his eyes!!! He's more worried about those damn guns!

But now, there's a crack in the chimney....which could lead to a house fire.
So he told me the procedure in case there was a house fire.
Which is to get the hell out!!!!
Maybe grab my purse on the way out.
But don't make any great effort for it.
Just get the hell out!!!
"But Honey! We have six cats!"
"Oh God! No! Just get out!!"
Now seriously! Has he forgotten who he's married to???
Does he really expect me to leave those babies in there???!!??
No Fuckin' Way!!
I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try.
I'll be standin' out in the pasture covered in soot and cat scratches but every last one is comin' outta this house!!
We have a tornado plan and it involves me collectin' as many as I can find and gettin' in the closet in the center of the house....until he builds that storm shelter....then when the storms come up we'll start gatherin' them up to take them to the hidey hole.
Even my ex-hubby knew that!!
A big tornado came thru our small town and took out the most of the have not lived until you've seen a big orange school bus that you rode everyday to school in the top of an oak tree....the tears will fall!
That big storm came up while I was at work and he was at home with girls....the sirens sounded he gathered everyone up and headed to the cellar....and one of the girls held my dog!

Roy needs to get a grip!

Which led to this....
I have a brand spankin' new and shiny modern chimney!!
And he can go back to worrin' about deer and thieves.


Miss Thystle said...

if you had a storm cellar, you'd just fill it up with fish like the other one!

Jane! said...

They are most definitely not saying anything because they are jealous. How could they not notice 20 pounds?!?! BTW, I think you look GREAT!
I think that in the event of a fire you should grab a can of cat food and pop the top, hopefully you will have a full-on cat stampede out to safety.
Wait... you put fish in the storm cellar?

Anonymous said...

I saw a woman running around an on-going house fire and breaking out every window with a bat.

Out of each one bailed one or two cats and they kept running.

So. there were nine in there, and she couldn't find even one when they dragged her out calling for them...nope..they hide and won't move unless they feel fresh air flooding in signifying a way out...and they ran right through the fire in some cases and came flying out like catapulted.

And also, the storms will worsen they say, but wow.."in the top of a oak tree?"

I drove school bus here and I can imagine it myself as a tornado tracker kinda.

And theives? Where are the police?

They let them all out the next day or what?

And hey, I put in dozens of those "new chimneys" with metal liners and caps...I like throwing the bricks off from the top too.

A big boy and all of course, and simply showing off my old throwing arm.

But proximity-activated lighting options send most "yard intruders" packing.

Surveillance tells you which snotball neighborhood kid is responible too if also activated by the same circut.

I like a "lights and sirens" panic button system too with several inside the in the bathroom for instance and a good locking door.

If one don't have such things, just "how worried" are they?

Having fun though I see...good.


Lorrie Veasey said...

I had a fire in my aprtment building and had to leave my two kitties: i didn't have to time to put on a bathrobe or slippers even and it was the middle of winter. We stood on the street for 4 hours while they fought the fire.

The firemen were very kind when the fire was out and offered to help me find my kitties. It took another two hours- i was sure they were gone. But a fireman finally found both of them alive & well: smooshed themselves flat as pancakes and hid UNDER THE BROILER in the stove. Turns out they can survive on way less oxygyn than a human.

Sorry for the ramble.

Vickie said...

The chimmney is a great thing to have fixed. Cozy fires on a cold winters night. Yumm.
But has Roy got the deer yet?
Does he share? LOL