Sunday, August 24, 2008

What If, Regrets, and Life..

Before I get into it all let me just say....Roy and I are solid.
We may fight like 2 cats in a bag but we are good.

Do you wonder about past loves?
Maybe you broke up over a misunderstandin' and once you actually spoke to each other.... after marriages and 6 kids .... you find out it was all just a stupid reason that you broke up.
Do you wonder about what might have been?

If you knew your marriage was headin' into divorce court, would you make the necessary changes to save it?
Or continue to "stay the course"? Thinkin' that you are doin' the right thing by lettin' your spouse have time to achieve his goals while you do's not me!

Let's say you have different goals in life than your spouse and you knew that you would never want the same things, would you continue to stay?
For the sake of the children?
Even if you are miserable, do you stay?
Are you setting a bad example to your children if stay in an unhappy marriage?
Or is it worse to divorce with young kids?

My girls were 7 and 9.
Roy's kids were 14 and 10....see... it's not me!!

Or do you fight tooth and nail to save your marriage??

It's not me!!!

Next time we chat...we'll talk about regrets and what ifs....that are mine.

The song playin' is OUR song.


Vickie said...

Hi Nadine
I often think of what might have been. I have made mistakes. At the same time the choice that I make are what make me, me. I have to keep moving forward and make better choices in the future. I would not fight to stay married if I or my husband was not happy. It takes two to make a marriage.

Sherrie said...

Hmmm very good question. I did have one marriage that ended in divorce, but it was really over before it even started. As well there were no children involved.

Hubby number 2 and I have been together for approximately 24 years, we've had our share of ups and downs, I can honestly say I'm glad we struggled through the downs, but it's not always possible to do that. Tough call this question, really depends on the circumstances.

Regrets? Well I try not to think of them that way, because there ain't a whole hell of alot I can do about it now. Except move forward.

And ya........I think about what if's, tends to give me a headache somedays though :-)


Bird said...

I believe very firmly in trying to make the marriage you are in work. That being said, I think everyone is miserable if mom and dad are miserable. My husband's parents divorced rather amicably and he's got a good relationship with both of them. I think that how you handle the divorce is a lot more important than whether or not you get a divorce.

Regrets? Not really, but I do wonder about those relationships that dissolved for no good reason. for the most part, though, I dated freaks before the Hub, so I don't wonder too much or too long.

Good questions.

Jeankfl said...

I try not to have regrets, but there's a few. And only a couple that I wonder if we could have made it, if I'd stuck it out.. but probably not.. All I've been through made me what I am.. so that's ok.

Billie said...

I would say that most of the guys I dated... on reflection... no regrets. I have a couple I think about and wonder what would have happened if things had worked out. My life would have been radically different without a doubt. Too different that it is difficult to imagine.

Sometimes... I wish I didn't stay in the my second marriage for so long. I struggled for no reason and basically lost my 30s in it. But if I hadn't of stayed... I wouldn't have met my current husband. We have had our tough times... but lately times have been good and I am happy to have met him.

Miss Thystle said...

There is no room in any life for regrets. You do what you have to do and then you move on.

Sometimes, it turns out not to have been the "right" thing to do, but it was all you could do at the time. So there is no such thing as "right", there is only what was and what is, and all you can do is grow because of it.

MizAngie said...

No use cryin' over spilled milk...

VENTL8R said...

Wow, tough question to start off a Monday....My 'rents split when I was 8 and my sister 12 so I don't remember a whole lot of their marriage other than every night of the week one of them was gone to some sort of club or activity to get away from the other person. They did a good job hiding it from us. I didn't think anything of it as that was how it was growing up.

Either situation is going to be traumatizing to the kids; be it a divorce or staying together for the sake of the kids.

I would tend to think that staying together would be more detrimental to the kids as they won't see or live with a "normal" marriage and learn how to correctly interact with a potential spouse.

I do believe to working together and fighting for the marriage. There's a reason two people got married and if they truly still loved each other then hopefully they could find that reason again and build from it.